10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

After dialysis the nurse removes all of the blood tubing from the machine. As I was helping I announced " I'm going to strip now"...the patient replied "Go ahead" ....Funny how the most innocent situations take on a different perspective...

Okay, these are great! I never thought of how these things sound to other people!

Amanda

Checking a pts. bottom I said, you have two open areas down here....the elderly woman replied, " yes ,I do. Don't you young lady?", then she turned to me and winked.

I actually said this to a male patient today: Spread your buttocks and your legs so I can get this in!

I was packing a pilonidal cyst at the time....

1. I need to check your hemroids or
2. lets see your perineum during postpartem exam
3. can I watch you nurse your baby (when assessing infant sucking)
4.If you cant pee on your own, I am going to have to put a tube in your penis (catheter insertion)

I could go on for days!!!!

How about " This is going to hurt but it will take care of the pain"

This thread popped into my mind last night as I heard myself say to a new mom I was teaching to breastfeed "You've got great nipples"

I needed a urine sample from a patient and I said, " Don't forget to save your pee for me, "

I was helping a coworker clean up an old fellow who'd been incontinent of loose stool........he also had alot of scrotal edema and was red as a beet. Well as I was gently (or I thought so) wiping his bottom off, he yells out, "OW! MY NUTS" , drawing out the "NUTS". We got more than a few comments from the docs who heard it all from the nurses station.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!THESE ARE SOOOO FUNNY! AND TRUE!