10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for - page 3

Very, very funny and true! If I may add one more: "Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)... Read More

  1. by   bagladyrn
    This thread popped into my mind last night as I heard myself say to a new mom I was teaching to breastfeed "You've got great nipples"
  2. by   NursyWursy
    I needed a urine sample from a patient and I said, " Don't forget to save your pee for me, "
  3. by   wildcherry
    I was helping a coworker clean up an old fellow who'd been incontinent of loose stool........he also had alot of scrotal edema and was red as a beet. Well as I was gently (or I thought so) wiping his bottom off, he yells out, "OW! MY NUTS" , drawing out the "NUTS". We got more than a few comments from the docs who heard it all from the nurses station. :chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll
  4. by   MMARN
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!THESE ARE SOOOO FUNNY! AND TRUE!:chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll
  5. by   MrsWampthang
    "Ok, you're free to go; well, not really." Said to a prisoner leaving the ER accompanied by a sheriff's deputy.

    Pam
  6. by   JBudd
    I was very ill post op, dehydrated, went to my own ER. On my third liter, a male nurse told me "I'd sure like to see you pee!" Told him "its not a spectator sport":chuckle
  7. by   bell47
    I'm not a nurse yet but I had a nurse tell me when I had to get a shot in the hip " Pull down your jeans, bend over and you'll get a little prick". I couldn't help but laugh. I'm glad it she was a friend of mine. I told her I'm not that kind of guy!
  8. by   blynn
    "Can you pee into this cup for me?"

    "Okay, here comes the catheter."
  9. by   tollern
    While preparing a male donor for plasma donation.....when he asked why I was stroking his arm to make the vein pop up...... "If I stroke it, it comes up faster." I thought he and everyone within earshot would fall out laughing.
  10. by   Littlewonder
    Littlewon's dh here, I used to be an orderly in OR and one day I was sent to pick up a patient from ER who had caught a circular saw, when I got there he was still fully dressed (including winter coat) so I told the nurse, "I can't take him anywhere, he's still dressed".
  11. by   carlarn
    Take off all of your clothes......

    The doctor will be in a minute to check you out. (Yes, I really did say this to a female patient about a male doctor.)

    I need you to take off your pants so I can look at your penis.

    When a patient has asked, do you remember me and you answer, I didn't recgonize you with your clothes on.

    When was the last time you had sex?
  12. by   MMARN
    Quote from carlarn
    Take off all of your clothes......

    The doctor will be in a minute to check you out. (Yes, I really did say this to a female patient about a male doctor.)

    I need you to take off your pants so I can look at your penis.

    When a patient has asked, do you remember me and you answer, I didn't recgonize you with your clothes on.

    When was the last time you had sex?

    BWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!
  13. by   LeahJet
    "When this hits the back of your throat, you need to swallow"

    ~inserting an NG tube~

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