Students want to be "friends"

I guess I just don't think in terms of liking or not liking them when I need to evaluate. It's irrelevant to me. They have tasks to accomplish appropriately. They have checklists to complete. They have objective tests to pass. They also self-evaluate each day of clinical and at the end of the semester.

Remember as faculty we are advisors, and not counselors. Our faculty was told this by on-site visitors from our Board of Nursing. This really does help faculty when students start talking or asking help with their personal lives. Send students with counseling problems to your counselors. It's very hard not to be "friends, buddy buddy" with your students, but having just one student file a grievance against you, when you thought you were friends, will do the trick. Remember they are not your friends, they are your students, and should be treated as such. They will turn on you very fast. So always be professional, be nice, but never, ever friends. I don't think it really matters what you have students call you, as long as you are comfortable with it. I never eat with my students, because I feel they need the time away from faculty to be themselves. But again, that is up to you. Remember to treat all of your students the same when it comes to grading, and evaluating. What you would do for one, you must do for all. Sometimes this helps to remember when you think you want to reward one student but not another. Remember all students talk with each other. Be careful, they are not your friends.

Good luck

It is, indeed, one of the hardest things to find balance in, especially as a new faculty member. My philosophy is somewhat like that of a distant relative, lol. I very much care about all my students, wish the best for them, and am somwehat peripherally involved in their lives (I will congratulate them on their new job, etc).

But I wouldn't discuss with them (either disclose or listen to their disclosure of) anything I wouldn't want broadcast on the evening news. I once had a professor who discussed her sex life (!) and her marital issues with students. We were embarassed, had zero respect for her, and wished she would have paid for a counselor vs telling us these things.

When I first started I made the mistake of wanting to be "liked"- did I mention that this was a BIG mistake, lol. It took a week or two for me to figure out this was a bad plan. It's much easier to establish boundaries at the start of any relationship- it helps set the tone for mutual respect, expected behavior, etc.
I now have found the balance between caring and impartiality (at least I think so!). A good thing, I've found, is to look for a mentor that "gets it right" and model his or her example. I'm always looking for ways to improve.

Live to learn,
Thats a good analogy, a distant relative. I like it.

I like the word facilitator, along with educator. I do not have an adversarial relationship with my students. They know I am there to help them learn and succeed. I ask questions, I push them, I point out their strengths and weaknesses. I insist that they "stretch" and grow, improving as the semester progresses.

I had an instructor that point-blank told me I would never make it in nursing. That was 35 years ago. That semester was SO long with her! Thank goodness for two other instructors that were supportive and encouraging!

Haze

My very first semester teaching, we did 10 hour shifts. Rather than leaving the floor for my own lunch, leaving students unsupervised, we all went to lunch together. The first 30" of lunch was for eating, relaxing, gossip, phone calls, and "letting their hair down"... The next 30" was a clinical conference (think old "Team Conference" from the '80's) where two students presented a nursing-related topic to their peers. It was GREAT! They had to pick their own topics. It was fun to see who picked what. It was very revealing about the students how they presented their conferences. Some read notes from a piece of scratch paper. Others made "Science Fair" boards for visual aids. Some made their own handouts while others just copied some "goodies" from internet resources. It was very educational to see who "went the extra mile" and who "got by" with minimal effort.

My second semester we were only there x 6 hours, so no mealtime. I missed that.

My third semester starts in two weeks. I will be doing 8 hours with the Fundamentals students... so, we'll see how THAT goes.

(yes, I am still a beginner at this clinical faculty thing! hehehe.)

Haze

I teach my students,
"Nursing is a kind, compassionate, and considerate profession."

Meaning,
the above qualities must be
FIRST
reflected in my behavior
towards the students
AND
the students' behavior towards
the patients, families, staff members
AND THEIR PEERS."

Nothing "buddy-buddy" about it.

If a student questions my info,
I request their perspective
with references.

No "I am the instructor and you are the student" business.

That's a given.

If I may respond - I'm a student (and hopefully in clinicals this Fall!). From reading your posts, I see you have a very precise style of giving good information with a minimum amount of words. Excellent quality in an instructor for a student trying to digest so much info in a short time. However, if the students complaining to you are younger, they may be products of our school systems that value self esteem - and they are used to being somewhat coddled and viewed as part of a team. Not their fault, but they sure have a disadvantage in college when they encounter instructors with your precise style! In addition, obtaining a nursing degree is very stressful because we have so much competition. A student's plea to "be friends" may possibly be translated as "be friendly".

Yes, it's your job to teach, and not be friends. Buddy buddy instructors dial down stress levels, but direct instructors challenge thinking. A truly golden instructor carries both qualities of friendliness coupled with no nonsense teaching.

Nursing students are stressed as we maneuver in a competitive program. If a student questions you in an abrupt, challenging way, they are probably ready to melt in a puddle of nerves! Direct information delivered with a smile (or kind eye!) should help!