Want to leave bedside nursing; any ideas? - page 2

hi, i've been a nurse for almost two years now, mostly in the ed. i really started to dislike my job when the 'ptb' gave me a hard time about time off to spend with my newly adopted twin daughters ... Read More

  1. by   Stitchie
    Quote from Gail-Anne
    Sounds like you still have a little(or a lot) of venting to do! Remember the professor who showed his class an empty jar, then filled it with rocks. He asked them if it was full, they said yes. Then he added pebbles that fit around the stones, asked if it was full now. Then he added sand, same question and they answered that it was full. Then he pulled out the glass of water to pour in. His point? that you fill your life first with what really matters, If you put the water in first the other things won't fit.
    Your children and husband fill your life FIRST, your other family and friends, beliefs and then your job come after.
    By the way, I'm an adoptive parent (son from Romania) and, yes, many people don't have a clue what that's about.
    One women I knew said "that most women go through 9 months of pregnancy and 27 hours of labour, I went through years of pregnancy (expecting a child with trying and fertility treatments, failed attempts at adopting) and months of labour". I didn't go through as much as she did but I still think she's right.
    Feel free to print this and give it to your boss on the way out the door!
    Hi Gail Ann,

    thanks for the nice analogy. It's true that our lives can be filled up by so many things.
    there was someone who mentioned that my leave left my unit working short, so I felt that I had to clarify that point. I didn't leave my unit short; the nurse manager and scheduler knew well in advance when I would be gone; they made my DH & I give copies of our plane tickets and accomadations (why I'll never know).

    Adopting a child(ren) is a completely different process than pregnancy. And gives you a whole new appreciation for patience, patience, patience.
  2. by   mattsmom81
    I like the analogy of the rocks and the jar too...I like the idea WE control what we first fill our jars with...good food for thought.

    I understand anger at hospitals because after 28 yrs I have watched them make fancy promises AND policies regarding $$ to nurses (bonuses, programs, raises, workers comp issues,etc)and then turn into angry scrooges denying the promised benefit, even villifying the nurse to avoid keping the promise. My anger is because so many facilities make these promises and portray themselves as such caring entities to the general public only to turn its back on its own. Yes its wrong and I also would like to expose their charades...which is what too many perform.

    Stitchie there are lots of different areas in nursing to explore and I hope you find one that feels good to you. Look into the legal nurse consulting field if you like the law...I hear its in great demand with attorneys in large metro areas.
  3. by   Q.
    Quote from dazzle256
    Makes me think of the time a co-worker of mine had to take time off work because her infant son was having open heart surgery. Can you believe people were whining about that. Thank heavens I'm leaving that place.

    That goes on in other nursing departments as well. I work in a non-bedside nursing department (office work, 8-4 M-F) and I have a co-worker here who is whining about covering my work when I'm out on maternity leave for my twins that I am expecting! :angryfire

    She complains about it every chance she gets and actually blames me for it.
  4. by   ProfRN4
    Quote from pk1
    butttttttttttt, on the other hand, remember that while you are out with them, regarless of how long or for what reason, your coworkers are working short handed. makes for long days or nights when we work short. plus, you may not be the only one who wants or needs off.
    i've been walking the walk for thirty years now, in med/surg and icu, and i've seen alot of nurses take advantage of flma's. and for some reason, everyone wants to blame the manager for being short handed, not the person who called out.
    wow, that's a little harsh. no doubt it is stressful to work short. and it certainly keeps you guessing at times when people 'call out' (especially hen they are the ones who are constantly complaining and whining). my co-workers daughter was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. i spoke to my nm today, and all she said was nurse_____ is 'out'. if anyone is whining about that, they are really selfish. you can usually figure out who the phony boloneys are when it comes to calling out.

    the op is taking her own, paid time, which was pre-approved. things happen, that sometimes we have no control over. what if a pregnant nurse suddenly needs to go on bedrest at 6 months?? we can't always put our job first.

    and no, management cannot 'pull nurses out of a hat' (learning that as a sup. now). the hiring/replacement process is not that quick.

    to the op- congrats on yor new babies!!! :hatparty: may god bless you and your new family. if you have the means, enjoy them as much as you can and work per-diem. how about home care?? you can work per-diem, and see a bunch of pts. on one or two days, and still make some decent $$$. youe er experience should get you any type of job you want. good luck to you!!!
  5. by   pk1
    Quote from dazzle256
    On the other hand she really shouldn't have to feel bad about taking FLMA. In situations like this it really is the management that is responsible for making sure the nurses aren't short handed.

    Makes me think of the time a co-worker of mine had to take time off work because her infant son was having open heart surgery. Can you believe people were whining about that. Thank heavens I'm leaving that place.
    Don't get me wrong. I have even used a FMLA once before when my father was dying. But we have people in our institution that call out at least once a week or when the weather is bad, and when their time is used up, they come to work as posted. It gets old very quick. We even have to schedule people on call when these others are posted just to keep it from being hard on the rest of the staff.
    I disagree about management being responsible. There are alot of nurses out there that only think about what they want, no consideration as to how their actions affect their coworkers. Maybe a leave of absence would be appropiate in some situations. Then come back into the work force when you can focus on the job at hand. It's hard to be caring for others when your heart isn't in it .
    I could go on and on. We have a group of coworkers on our unit now that is so negative, and no matter what we do we can not please them and they are influencing our new staff members in a negative way. Our manager is fighting hard to get our nurse/patient ratio changed and they can not see past the end of their nose what she is trying to get done for them. Best manager I have ever run across, and believe me I have seen some that were useless!
  6. by   Stitchie
    :angryfire
    Quote from payday
    The two large hospitals I am looking at for employment both list the dollar amount paid for an adoption right on the list of benefits that they give applicants. It's right there with all the other benefits, no denying it.
    The problem is that they can deny it! And do, all the time. As my attorney said, 'of course companies violate their own policies all the time. Look at Enron'.

    I don't think I'll be seeing that 5k assistance money without a huge fight, and I'm just tired of dealing with jerks: managers, docs, admin. Not one of them could do what nurses do day in and day out, and we get treated like spoiled children for demanding our rights. or do they think that they will not be called on the carpet for it.
  7. by   dazzle256
    Quote from Stitchie
    :angryfire

    The problem is that they can deny it! And do, all the time. As my attorney said, 'of course companies violate their own policies all the time. Look at Enron'.

    I don't think I'll be seeing that 5k assistance money without a huge fight, and I'm just tired of dealing with jerks: managers, docs, admin. Not one of them could do what nurses do day in and day out, and we get treated like spoiled children for demanding our rights. or do they think that they will not be called on the carpet for it.
    nevermind....wrong thread
  8. by   CHATSDALE
    congratulations on your adoption...but you must take a little time off to learn to be a mother...how to pace your days..if you can afford it go back to school...this will get you out of the house a little bit [yes this is very important] it will advance you in your profession..and it will give you a little time to decide what type of nursing you want to do and there is a whole world of nursing out there
    company nurses..school nurses..home health..education..teaching on college level [don't we need new nurses
    being a new mother is a major change in your life...no matter how much you want that change..you don't need any other stress..if you don't get support from management now they are not going to be receptive in future\
    might be a good time to walk away...check and see if you have to work a set amount of time p adoption...lawyer should be able to help you with that
  9. by   payday
    Quote from pk1
    Don't get me wrong. I have even used a FMLA once before when my father was dying. But we have people in our institution that call out at least once a week or when the weather is bad, and when their time is used up, they come to work as posted. It gets old very quick. We even have to schedule people on call when these others are posted just to keep it from being hard on the rest of the staff....
    !
    Those calling off once a week should cut their hours down if they cannot stand to be there. That is totally unfair to the staff.

    If I did that at my last job, I'd be canned.
  10. by   Stitchie
    Quote from payday
    Those calling off once a week should cut their hours down if they cannot stand to be there. That is totally unfair to the staff.

    If I did that at my last job, I'd be canned.
    Exactly. That particular behavior was well tolerated at my nlow-previous employer. Or those particular nurses would come in 1/2 hour late, whenever they bothered to show up at all.

    Do you have to be declared clinically brain-dead to be a unit manager?
  11. by   pk1
    Quote from Stitchie
    Exactly. That particular behavior was well tolerated at my nlow-previous employer. Or those particular nurses would come in 1/2 hour late, whenever they bothered to show up at all.

    Do you have to be declared clinically brain-dead to be a unit manager?
    In our area, staff get FMLA for everything. We are very small, and everybody knows everybody. Docs just can't say no when they are requested.
    Have to play it by the book, but slowly weeding out the trouble makers. Please tell me, just where are the good nurses. The ones that want to make a difference! We have a really special manager that is trying to change things and wants the staff involved with everything, especially decisions on how our unit will be run and what we need. We get a new employee that has potential and as soon as they are turned loose, the staff eats them up, then sits back and complains about not having help.
  12. by   BETSRN
    Quote from stitchie
    hi, i've been a nurse for almost two years now, mostly in the ed. i really started to dislike my job when the 'ptb' gave me a hard time about time off to spend with my newly adopted twin daughters from poland.

    adopting from poland is very difficult. they are now part of the eu and beginning to experience many of the same problems with fertility that the us has had for the last 15 years or so. i have two wonderful adopted daughters, 15 months old, but my experience with the so-called catholic hospital where i worked has made me question my catholic upbringing, if i want to raise my children as catholic, and if i even want to stay in nursing. i know i don't want to stay in bedside nursing.

    my husband and i had to make three trips to poland (to krakow, a very long flight). for this the hr director said that i was 'coming and going as i pleased'. this occurred around the holidays. apparently, the 'ptb' were concerned that 'others' would be asking for non-fmla leaves around the holidays also. we were adopt abroad so we had to go when we had to go. (as anyone who has adopted internationally will tell you, it's not the easiest or most predicatable of processes).

    then i got the hr meeting, then they dragged out the adoption assistance (2500.00 per child, or 5000.00 altogether) and refused to pay it out according to their own policy. they violated the policy they wrote, and apparently, this is perfectly ok.

    when they were supposed to pay the assistance money, i got into an argument with the snake of an hr director. basically, she said/i said another. she then suspended me 'pending investigation' because she thinks i told her that i tape recorded the hr meeting. what i said was "this isn't in my recording of the meeting". i told her that i knew she didn't want to pay this money or she wouldn't keep changing the goal line. she also asked me to transfer to a lesser-known, older, outdated hospital that has real problems with retention (because it is lesser-know, old, and outdated!)

    i don't want to stay in bedside nursing. i'm sick of the politics and the egos and the absurd workloads. the stress of working in hospitals has really affected me, and my marriage, and my enjoyment of my children. it's making me depressed, to say the least, and taking its toll on what i thought i was good at.

    my husband is 100% supportive of whatever i want to do, work agency for a while, or go per diem someplace, or go back to school in a few months once our girls are settled.

    has anyone else had similar experiences out there about hospitals being butt-heads about these kinds of things? i feel that i was lured there under the pretext of getting adoption assistance (some companies in this area pay up to 10k for each child adopted, that's amazing).

    anyone have any ideas where i can work in normal clothes, with my adn degree (almost done with my bsn). i'm not particularly interested in being a management stooge, as the two unit managers i've had were astonishing in their ignorance.
    two years is hardly giving nursing at the bedside a chance. you have been in an er and that is quite different from the many types of bedsides there are in nursing. i am sorry you have had such a problem with adoptions and all but having kids and working is what it is all about. being away from the bedside is not going to make either job any easier, believe me. your issues about adoption assistance are totally separate from your issues with nursing. it's the old "don't judge a book by its cover" thing here.

    before you leave the bedside altogether, i think i would suggest trying another hospital. they are all over the place. if you want to be a sahm now, then do so, but don't blame the institution. put your priorities in order.
  13. by   Stitchie
    Quote from BETSRN
    Two years is hardly giving nursing at the bedside a chance. You have been in an ER and that is quite different from the many types of bedsides there are in nursing. I am sorry you have had such a problem with adoptions and all but having kids and working is what it is all about. Being away from the bedside is not going to make either job any easier, believe me. Your issues about adoption assistance are totally separate from your issues with nursing. It's the old "don't judge a book by its cover" thing here.

    Before you leave the bedside altogether, I think I would suggest trying another hospital. They are all over the place. If you want to be a SAHM now, then do so, but don't blame the institution. Put your priorities in order.
    I have worked in hospitals for quite some time before I got my RN. I have not seen much in the way of the change in management styles -- mostly treat nurses like slots on a schedule.


    When one is promised a benefit and has to hire a lawyer to get it, there's something very wrong with the system and institution. That makes the institution the right one to blame, IMO.
    I enjoy working. I think it makes me a better mom. I'm also new at this, so I'm prone to making lots of mistakes.

    I have a problem with your comment "I am sorry you have had such a problem with adoptions and all but having kids and working is what it is all about."

    My priorities are absolutely in order, and I can blame the institution that made promises it didn't deliver on. A Catholic institution which claims to support adoption of children and then deny the very assistance that you are relying on -- well, draw your own conclusions. Wouldn't you think that blaming them is justified?
    Last edit by Stitchie on Feb 4, '05

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