I feel like I am forcing myself to work as an RN and I hate it. The ratio of taking care of 8 patients, the long hours, constant rushing and high stress is not cutting it. I thought nursing would be centered on the patient, but since ratios are so high in my county, its impossible and unsafe to take care of that many people at one time. So im stuck in a dilemma. Im getting to the point where I hate the person I am, cause im starting not to care about what I do as a nurse. If I get things done, I get it done. If not, oh well. My sensitivity for the patients has decreased and my anxiety increased. This job is demanding and I dont think its fair to my patients to have me as a nurse. So what can I do? If I terminate my contract, I owe the hospital 10 grand for breaking it. Im stuck. Someone please help me.