horrible orientation at hospital

Hi everyone. I am a CNA and I have posted here before on my job dilemmas. I am a shy soft spoken person and often times it makes things difficult for me in the job setting.

Recently I was thrilled to be hired by a hospital (instead of a LTC facility). I have been there nearly two weeks..the first few days consisting of hospital orientation and computer classes. The next two weeks I am assigned to a "proctator"...who is another CNA who will train me and i will "shadow" her.

I found my proctator to be a bit gruff and sensed a possible personality conflict right away...but this is a job not a social club so I was polite, professional and attentive. At first she was a great help. showing me the routine, the computers, etc. When it became more hands on for me it turned into a nightmare.

SHe made comments everytime I did something...as simple as making a bed...occupied bed making is not easy IMHO...sometimes the patient would be nasty and she would say "I am so sorry ..the girl is new" I am 32 years old.
She said some wild things in front of patients if I made a mistake on vitals ..like "I hope not or he is dead!!!" She then ordered me around and told me to fill basins, empty urinals and bed pans, fetch chucks and linen and put the dirty ones in the container.."because obviously I wasn't ready to do hands on"

I have gotten sick to my stomach after work over this. Recently I had another hands on day and she had me so upset and nervous I tripped over my own two feet. She then ordered me to come in at 6:30 every morning (we start at 7) becaus I am so SLOW. I did this and I would tip toe into the unit to drink down a cup of coffee and the minute I opened a sugar packet she was there saying it was time to get to work. I never got coffee ever! We never take our little 15 min break in the am like the others do..we are too behind "becuase I am so slow!" I have never worked in a hospital before..don't I get some time to get it?

Yesterday I went in at 6:45 and she told me I was late. She then told me the nurses were upset because I failed to close a catheter correctly and urine was all over the floor and that I failed to enter some data in the system. Then it was time to work.

I feel I have the routine down and I know what do do, correctly and accurately. She followed me around with crossed arms as I did my job then went back to check it..and to her disapproval all data was correct. I was even asked by an RN to assist her in packing a wound.

After that hse approached me and said "ya know..you have me worried..you are not catching on..most people catch on a lot quicker" I asked what the nursing sup said and she said "she only knows what I tell her" and I asked "are they going to let me go?" and she replied "it's up to what I tell them"
She is a CNA for a year who worked in housekeeping for two years!!!

I am such a fool I just started crying. I said maybe I would go for unit clerk and she said "no way..there is way too much pressure for you" She then suggested I tell the nurse I just couldn't do it, was overwhelmed.

Instead I went into the next room and started AM care..well this witch was so annoyed she came into help and was so harried and rushed the woman's catheter came out...ofcourse it was my fault according to her. I was so upset I signed out for the day.

She said "oh...your leaving..I'll tell the charge nurse. You don't have to come back tomorrow, I'll let everyone know"

and here I am. Why on earth do people want to make others live's so miserable??