Sorry, but I don't think you're going to get much a response. The whole point of an essay is that it is your voice - not ours. I am sure they provided you with directions - just make sure you follow them.
Thank you. However, I am aware that it's my essay. You didn't have to respond. It's thousands of people on here who may actually be able to give me pointers in what is an effective essay. I am not asking for someone to give me a topic or write an essay for; but what does the admissions office typical look for.