I was in exactly the same position as you when I started NS. Actually, I still am.
When I first started college, I went for Dietetics. I loved fitness and nutrition and loved learning about the human body, as you did. I poo pooed the personal trainer idea as I don't see that as a way to "pay the bills" atleast in the long run, I see that as a job to have on the side, in addition to your 'real' career. I never finished the degree but wasn't really thrilled about all the work of the degree program and to get out and make not so much money...blech! Fast forward ten years, in a going-nowhere job, what was I gonna do? I mean, really
do? So began the process of elimination.
Phys Therapy? No-too competetive and too long, school too far away. Nutrition-too long, internship unpaid, competetive, not adequately compensated, can't find a job anywhere. Personal Trainer-not stable enough, have to "sell", didn't see that job as smart enough, wanted more....I could go on and on. I never really saw myself taking care of people and have never been a caregiver in my life. Never too sympathetic either, more of a "quit whining" type person. I loved learning so blazing thru the prereqs wasn't too hard. I just kept telling myself, "if she can do it, I can do it". How hard could it be if there were so many out there doing it? I told myself surely there'd be something I would like, what with all the nursing specialties out there!? I told myself I would be so smart by the end of school, I would just soak up all that knowlege like a sponge! All the while taking orders didn't appeal to me, I hate high stress jobs, am not an adrenaline junkie, didn't think I'd enjoy wiping butts all day. But I was still rationalizing it all, because I was ignorant. It was easy to rationalize when you had NO CLUE!
Fast forward into school, LOVE LOVE LOVE the bookwork, the learning. Fast forward to clinicals, check offs, and the anxiety is thru the roof. I don't like what I see at clinicals. The patients are OK and butt wiping not nearly as bad as I imagined, but treatment of nurses worse than I ever could have imagined. Doctors are often flat out mean and very condescending. Nurses run around all day like chickens with their heads cut off, are under tremendous pressure, and are responsible for people's lives where one mistake could mean the loss of a patient and/or that nurse's well being. You can get sued and lose everything! In clinicals I feel constantly stressed, constantly afraid, and when I envision myself doing this job, I shudder. I don't think I could ever be confident enough. I don't think I could suck down the insults from doctors and I don't want to "schmooze" them just to get by.
In some ways, I suppose it is good that it is not the patient care that is making me run away as fast as I can. It is everything else. The stress. The million people you deal with everyday when you are a pretty introverted person. Watching people at their sickest, too busy to really help them. If nursing was slower paced and you could actually take time to truly CARE for patients and doctors weren't breathing down your neck all the time I would probably like it. But truth be told, I probably should have been a doctor. My personality is much more suited for it. But, that would take WWWAAAAYYY too long, way too much liability, no life, way too competetive, and I don't have the $$ or the grades to even begin that degree. So nursing was the next best thing.
Fast forward, I am entering BLOCK 4, my last semester. My opinion is still the same and I see myself as never really being competent enough in this profession. If I could find a position that really gave me the autonomy to make decisions AND gave me time to really THINK thru those decisions, I would probably love it. But now I am thinking this is found somewhere in the back office, definitly not on the floor of a hospital. Just getting there will require atleast a year of pure torture. Sadly, that is how I see it.
People told me when I started (you can search my threads) that I needed to rethink this. Problem is, I would rethink and rethink but I just went round and round in circles. If I abondoned this idea, another 10 years would go by and I still wouldn't have had a clue. Plus, I DO need to make money, I need to have a CAREER. My compromise has been that I can do nursing a couple days a week to make enough to pay my bills and then "play" in something I really enjoy the other days. Maybe become a personal trainer, just for fun.
Anyway, I don't really know what to say to you except that I know how you feel and you will never really know until you see it all first hand. Either you will say, "Wow, I can see myself doing this" or you will say "Oh my gosh, I HAVE to get out of here".
Or you can think like me. It is a couple years out of your life and you will always have that degree. Even if you don't use it you will always have that knowlege and unlike other degree programs, you will be able to use that knowlege everyday in real life. That is how I tell myself it all isn't a total waste. It would be even worse if I had sat around and done nothing and was still THINKING and THINKING and THINKING........
Good Luck to you and I hope you make the right decision for YOU!