The Delivery

For those of you who have worked long in labor and delivery and before the advent of the epidural, you may, perhaps, can relate to patients such as mine.

Or not.

Many years ago, I was a labor and delivery RN at a county medical hospital, serving a large population. The hospital only had 3 delivery rooms with one delivery room, that all the nurses hated; it was small and around the corner; kind of hard to get into in a hurry. We had 9 nine labor and recovery rooms, and rarely more than 3 RN's on the day shift. On this particular day, we were slammed, babies were coming out of the woodwork!

I had just come out of the delivery room with one patient and was settling her in the recovering area, when I heard that unmistakable screaming, moaning and grunting that any labor and delivery RN instantly recognizes! It is the sound that says "World, I am coming out! Ready or not!" I looked out in the direction of the sound and saw no one, and so I ran. I found a young black woman, literally coming out of her bed with the contraction and the baby starting to crown. The only delivery room available was the dreaded #3, just around the corner. Since this was her first baby, I felt I had time to get her to the delivery room. So, I grabbed the foot of the bed, screamed, myself for one of the techs that I was going to the delivery room and to come on, NOW! Luckily, because we had been so busy, the delivery room was set up and waiting.

I am a small woman, so it was somewhat difficult to maneuver this bed around the corner into the delivery room, all the while trying to keep the patient calm between contractions. I did manage, thinking that my backup is coming any minute. Wrong! I get the bed rolled to the side of the delivery table, I'm talking to the patient, she's calm, I'm explaining that I am going to help her move on to the delivery table, I'm at the foot of the bed, between her legs, lifting her buttocks, she just needs to move her shoulders over, she says "Okay".

Just as I lift her buttocks, a contraction hits! SHE ARCHES HER BACKS, THROWS HER LEGS, BOTH OF THEM AROUND MY NECK, AND BEGINS TO SCREAM UNCONTROLLABLY, WHILE BEATING THE TABLE WITH THE VERY HANDS SHE WAS JUST HELPING MOVE HERSELF WITH!!!!!! THE BABY IS NOW CROWNING , LITERALLY INCHES FROM MY FACE! SHE IS SCREAMING AND THRASHING SO, THAT SHE CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING I SAY AND OBVIOUSLY, MY BACKUP HASN'T SHOWN UP!
I was yelling for her to "GET DOWN, GET GET DOWN! I CANNOT DELIVERY THIS BABY WITH IT IN MY FACE!" She just did not hear me! In desperation, I popped her backside, and repeated "I HAVE TO DELIVER YOUR BABY! NOW!" Luckily, the contraction, began to subside then and she relaxed, completed the move to the deliver table where I delivered a healthy girl baby, moments later. At which point, my tech walks in and says, "Oh, I sorry, I didn't hear you"!

More than 20 years later, I still see that scene vividly, and
laugh out loud at my predicament. At the time, however..............