Retirement When?

RETIREMENT WHEN?

Years have passed with my hair turning a shade of white. I walk with a slight limp, but chronologically not as old as one might think. Flat feet, and varicosities well hidden under pant legs for none to see, working as a nurse “humpin the halls” each year that passes is equivalent to 3-5 of any other profession.

Passing visitors in the hall at my place of employment in long term care with a confident, brisk gait-leaves not doubt I am “head nurse” for the evening, and very proud of it. Yes, my knees creak when I bend and any task kneeling on the floor is out of the question. Oh my, CPR class with a dummy. “Where is a table to place “resuscitate SP… Annie!” This is not funny!

Dementia patients see my hair of white and call me “MaMa”, wanting comfort from fright. When orienting one of my special friends that I am not “MaMa” but instead her nurse, she laughs out loud stating “You are full of it!”

When emergencies happen, I no longer run because arriving short of breath or out of gas is very important. One has to guide the new nurses calmly through emergency procedures so when 911 arrives they will be impressed things have been done right. Compliments are spoken “What a great nursing staff!!

There are times my mind is slower, but my tongue is sharp….quick to give opinions when needed or not. No “wham moments” staring off into space, with a blank look covering my face, have been noted, just an occasional bit of everyday forgetfulness.

One day sitting in the break room a thought passed through my brain “Oh my, when should a nurse retire?” Laughing to myself, I begin reflecting on years past working with a few old nurses, ranging in age from 76-80 being the oldest, a list of warning signs came to mind. They are as follows:

l. Staff nurses you work with make fun of you by imitating one of your many idiosyncrasies behind your back, like a tick or that habit of repeating yourself.

2. You begin to resemble some of the residents in the nursing home where you work and visitors ask if you need assistance.

3. When a code situation occurs, you have to take out your American Heart Association manual and thumb through the instructions on how to institute CPR.

4. During infection control rounds one evening you pour alcohol on a
Bedpan...flame it with a match, light it on fire, and stand there in
total disbelief as it melts slowly, realizing they are no longer metal,
but made of plastic.


Youth prevails, so as years pass by when I become this old nurse as described above, gently take me aside and say “Old Nurse, it is time…you are way past your prime.” Make your list of things to do with your idle hours like a new hobby, books to read, and bingo games to play. PLEASE for the sake of us all “OLD SCARY NURSES….Enjoy Your Retirement!”