I Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout Birthin' No Babies

My very pregnant sister in law called me one day and said "I'm being induced on October 15. I'd like it if you'd be there since you keep talking about going to Nursing School." I hesitated. I took a deep breath. I really wanted to be there, but was it really my place since I knew my brother would be there, and I was sure she would want her Mom there, and my Mom as well.

I clutched the phone. "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies, Kels". "Please, Kylee," she begged. "We want you there". I couldn't say no after that. My sister in law accepted me with no hesitation when she started dating my brother. She wasn't like the others who put me into the "I'll be stuck with her as a sister in law" category.

I woke up early and made the 3 hour drive home. I hesitantly made my way to Maternity. Each step gave me yet another bout of insecurity and what ifs. What if I puked all over the delivery room? What if I fainted and hit my head-- or worse yet, broke a valuable piece of equipment.

When I got to the room, I gave my sister in law the gifts I had picked out for her and the baby. She gave me the update. 5 cm dialated, everything is fine.

"I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies" I wailed after every time she asked me if I was going into delivery with her. I think my brother told me to shut up about 4 times.

We sat and waited... and waited.. and waited... and waited... for 9 hours. We munched food from the vending machine, watched the Yankees win a baseball game. I drove Dad home. I walked the dog. I stopped at the store and got my brother some dinner. I got back to the hospital and waited some more. I paced. I crocheted the baby afghan I was working on.

The doctor ordered Pitocin. My Mom called from her business trip, wanting to know the progress of things. I no sooner got "Nothing is happening" out of my mouth before my sister in law let out this horrible scream. I remember saying "Mom I gotta go, NOW. We're having a baby here" and hanging up the phone.

In comes the doctor, yanking on a pair of gloves, and telling me to hold my sister in law's foot. He didn't have his gloves on yet, and there's the baby's head. "Dark hair" I told my sister in law. I knew this was the time I had to turn my head and not look because the next step would either make me puke or I'd wind up on the floor.
It was like the bad car wreck. You don't want to look, but you can't help yourself.

I saw this beautiful little face appear with the next push. Then I saw the doctor suctioning the nose and mouth. One more push and I heard "It's a girl", while the doctor was triumphiantly holding her by the ankles. I smiled to myself. One of my earlier duties was filling out the birth certificate. My sister in law told me to leave the name part blank till she knew the gender. I had filled in Alexa Richelle about two hours before. Everyone else assumed she was having a boy, but I had a feeling.

I followed the nurse over to the radiant warmer. I looked down and took a good long look at this beautiful little human. I counted fingers, toes, eyes, nose, mouth. "Would you like to weigh and measure her?" The nurse asked. I gave her the deer in the headlight look. "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies," I said.

The nurse laughed. "You did a pretty good job over there for not knowing what you were doing." I gulped. All I did was hold the foot.
"I just held the foot", I mumbled. Then I realized, I didn't get sick. I didn't faint. I didn't damage any expensive equipment. I made it through. "Where's the scale?"