How My Instructor Affected My Life

i have already replied to this post, but i just love this story so much. it's really motivating!

I am going through this now. I even thought about dropping out (it's my last semester). I was depressed felt like a failure and my confidence at an all time low. This letter helped me realize I WILL make it through these last 15 weeks. Thank You for sharing this experience.

20 years ago I was Rae I had an instructor who told me I was too young and immature to ever be a good nurse. Ha Ha I was the only one in that clinical rotation that she did not give an unsatisfactory to. to this day I still hate her. Nursing school is hard enough without nasty instructors who have no business being a nurse much less an instructor. You can definitly now say you have been there and got the t-shirt. It will always make you more sympathetic to new nurses.

I've already posted a reply to this message, but I just had to go back and re-read your story once again - it's that inspirational. Thanks again for posting it. It has helped me to realize that while we look to our teachers, instructors, etc. for validation, etc that we are competent and capable of doing a good job, sometimes we aren't going to be given that, even when we deserve it. It's just the way the world works sometimes. Sometimes you have to look for inspiration and support where you can find it. I for example have found more of that just in the stories posted on this website so far than I've actually encountered in school. That's one reason I'm glad that I found this forum. Everyone likes to say "I could write a book about all of this", but I have an idea that all of us here, you and me included, could write interesting, unbelievable, (but entirely true) books about what we've been through so far, that would make great reading. Keep up the good work, and keep writing, you are good at it - maybe keep a daily journal of your experiences for a book later on about your life as a nurse :-)

Please don't give her (the instructor) the credit for how you turned out so well!!!!! She was awful!

Isnt it sad that individuals can only prove their own feelings of inadequacy by tormenting others! Again, let this make you more determined and see it for what it is worth... the part I left out was this happened to me five or six weeks prior to graduation and she 'threatened ' me about graduation! Not only did she LIE LIE LIE to cover her BEHIND, but then tried to make me look incompetant. This was all over a miscommunication with a staff nurse! It was just a mistake,,miscommunication.. and then, another instructor tried to pull the same stunt in another rotation! It was the dynamic duo!

I know exactly how you feel. My LPN year I had an instructor who was just as horrible to me. I never let her see but I drove home crying after almost every clinical day with her. I always had good reviews from other instructors and was told time and again I had good leadership skills, but this one instructor wouldn't give me one ounce of encouragement no matter how well I did. Nothing I did was ever good enough. It is beyond me how someone like that can sleep at night, tearing down someones confidence day after day, I think it made her feel bigger. Well, she wasn't bigger in my eyes and I strive everyday to NEVER treat anyone the way I was treated, so I guess maybe she did teach me something about the kind of nurse I DON'T want to be.

I had a similar experience with an instructor during a re-entry scenario. I bombed out of 2nd year winter term and had to wait a year to get back into the program. One term was audited before repeating the failed term. After the audit term, re-entry students are required to pass an assigned clinical scenario. The doctors orders and med list were handed out the day before the test, so I was determined to be fully prepared with any questions that could come up during the test. When I found out the testing instructor was Alice, I knew I was doomed. This woman attempted to fail me three previous times during labs. Each time I retested with another instructor and passed with no problem and great compliments. When the re-entry scenario began, she started asking very obscure questions that were barely relevant to the patient or med. She kept pounding questions until it was clear to her that I didn't know the answer, then kept pounding more questions at me. What was supposed to be a 20 minute practical exam (which is how long it took her to test the female students) took an hour and 45 minutes. The more rattled I became, the more she lit up...even smiling and chuckling. During the test, she would say things like "You aren't even up to first year, first term standards." At the end of the test, she said she couldn't pass me, then asked me what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I said I didn't know, but I that I was going to file a formal complaint with the director of nursing at the school. I immediately went to the director's office and complained about the test. Alice knocked on the door and handed the director the paper work used during the test. Everything Alice had written was incorrect and outright lies. The director asked me to document what had happened and that my case would be decided by someone higher than her (the director) within a few days. A few hours later, when I was at home, the director called and said I didn't need to document anything, and to take the same scenario over with another instructor in a few days. The second time I had no problem passing with a perfect score. After graduation, I was visiting with my favorite lab instructor when Alice walked by and said to anyone who would listen, "did HE graduate?!!" I suggested to her that she seek counseling to find a less obvious way to deal with her hatred of men and/or male nurses. She turned such a shade of red that I thought she was going to take a swing at me. Not only did I graduate, but I've passed the NCLEX-RN and now officially licensed in Oregon. Rae - You're going to ROCK as a nurse. I think there are a few of the seasoned nurses out there that just get off on eating their young. After we've been practicing for a few years, we'll look back and truly realize just how insignificant and wrong they were.

I only had one "bad" CI in NS...but I wasn't her target, it was a male student in our clinical group. It got so bad that everytime I saw her headed his way I'd intercept her and get her attention. She used to try to use me to "spy" on the other students...I told her I had to get along with those very students and I certainly wasn't about to spy on them. She would try to buddy up to me and garner information. It got to the point I just avoided her like the plague.

On the bright side: my CI from my last semester is now my best friend. Turns out we had a LOT in common. My family and I are going to her house for dinner tonight

Yep, I had a clinical instructor just like her and I too ended up in tears, but I overcame too.
Funny thing is my daughter is now in engaged to a guy whose mother was LVN instructor. I just met her a couple of weeks ago and here is a tip for those still in school...straight from the horse's mouth.... they do this on purpose!
Oh I let her have it! I let her know exactly how I thought that kind of behavior works just the opposite on new student nurses. Plus after I told her about a lot of my horror nursing stories, she replied, "they really were after you, weren't they?"
I asked her why did she think it was necessary to treat new nurses like that? She just laughed..I can't tell you what she called herself., but it wasn't nice, but maybe to another nursing instructor it was. I get the feeling they are in their own little world, just what my husband used to say about nursing instructors! I got the feeling they act all tough and mean and sometimes the meaner the better!