Re: How My Instructor Affected My Life
You know, I had a

moment when I was watching my clinical instructor with another student one day. My clinical instructor was raising her voice and said to another student, "What is the matter with you!?" She was throwing her body into it and creating a certain facial expression, jutting out her jaw, to create a look of meanness.
My light bulb moment was that I could see my clinical instructor was acting. As soon as she walked away from this student, the 'act' dissolved and she looked drained from the 'put on.' When I wasn't the target, I could see just how much she was acting. I could see this when my clinical instructor was dressing down another student, but not when she did this with me due to my own adrenalin, when it was me getting some form of this act.
I realized that day that she probably thought this was how it had to be, and it appeared to exhaust her. She seemed to think the military boot camp thing was her job. It's probably how she was educated, how she was treated as a nursing student. To be fair, I don't think she had formal education in how to teach nursing students. She had a BSN and hadn't worked in a clinical setting in years.
When I understood she was putting on an act, probably didn't know better, and it was exhausting her, I no longer took it personally.
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