Hospice: Knowledge and Wisdom Worth Dying For

I worked in Hospice and Home Health as an aide for 5 years. I previously worked in nursing homes before I found Home Health and Hospice. I totally fell in love with nursing through Hospice. I had taken care of this gent in his home for several months until his final crossing. Shortly afterward his wife was diagnosed with cancer and needed Hospice. I ended up taking care of her until her final crossing too. During caring for her husband I was quite irritated with his wife. She was type A personality and so am I. I dreaded going there and having to deal with her too. When I went back and cared for her, our relationship was totally different. I got to know who she really was, not the business woman tough exterior that she wore. A week before she died she made me promise that I would go back to school and get my degree in nursing. She stated that she had never met anyone so spiritual. That was the beautiful push I needed. I made the promise and within a year of her passing I uprooted my family and moved to a University town to go back to school. It was the best thing I ever did!! I love taking care of the passing, it truly is a privlege. You get to take care of people when they are in the raw, no masks, and I love that.

I don't work hospice, I work NICU. Sometimes it's all the same, palliative care, but in my case, for wee lives that have never been lived yet, and never will.
Since March, my primaries, my "best boy" and his sister, born at 25 weeks gestation, have been my whole working life, lately filling my mind on my off times too. My "best boy", I look after him for at least three days/nites a week, he's dying, has very little brain tissue left, has seizures, pain, cant breathe without Cpap giving him breaths. Hydrocephalus. Shunts. Hernias...pain pain pain. I hate the fact hes in pain, and take any chance to hold him tight when changing his bed or moving his wee body round to ease the odema.
His parents have a very realistic outlook, his sister is doing as well as premmies do, but they know he is failing. They know he will die.

Breaks my heart that when I tuck him into bed, or when I change him and give him new jammies on, and tell him what a handsome boy he is, the best boy in all the world!...he gives me a heart tearing smile...sometimes it's an Elvis one sider..sometimes it's a full on beam! He sooo loves to be told how cute he is and such a charmer! (don't even tell me it's reflex..this wee guy is a cutie and knows his aunties Love him)
That, above anything else, rips my soul to bits...he must feel how much he will be missed, he must know how much he is loved.......

How very sad for the family of that " best boy"
I guess you must
keep reinforcing your thoughts to how you are there for him & feel
good about it, but I bet that is hard too
good for you danissa.
safta24

have noticed all(most articles here) talk about God.How do u comfort those who who have no belief? have no idea what to expect, or just feel they are leaving their loved ones,& going to the grave? Do all hospices nurses believe in God,share this with gratitude from the dying, or....

Just a wee update., my "Best Boy", he died on Saturday, which was my day off. I called work for some trivial thing, and was told he had gone. My heart was so sore, but relieved for him at the same time. No more pain, no more suffering, for him and his wonderful parents. My colleague told me, she thought he waited to go when it was my one day off, as me and the wee guy shared smiles and mutual admiration! This was such a sweet thought, but tears still flowed. Nursing is not always about life at all costs, its about getting the best from life whilst possible, then if its going to be so, having an easy and peaceful death.
He had such a death, easy and peaceful, wrapped in the arms of his parents, outside on a warm and sunny June day, knowing that he was loved, but knowing it was ok to go to where he had to go. My best Boy, may the angels cuddle you tight, and wake you in the morning with sweet songs and gentle kisses, X

Danissa,
So sorry to read of this little darling and his death.
My prayers to his loving family and to you for all the tender loving care you gave this little man.
Let the tears flow you did your best.

Thanks Sabby, for your heart felt words, and prayers for this wee souls family. Means a lot babe, thank you. I don't cover my tears, now, in private moments, they come, eases my hurting heart. In prescence of a greiving family, I cry, but dont weep, it's all about them, isn't it. Anything to do to help them, and it's done. On Sunday afternoon, we actually had just them and their surviving twin and the nursing staff in the unit, (no other babies parents), it worked out so well, was so relaxed. We looked up pics on the computer of the wee guy, laughed a bit, cried a bit, spoke of random stuff as well as funeral stuff to come. Felt like family, you know, that kinda closeness, before the world wants a piece of whats happening. Was so honoured to be there that afternoon, taking part in their lives, just all our wee gang..minus the wee guy. Helped them, and as nurses..well, it helps us..

Suspect had a very valid notation about the prevalence of God as part
of comfort given. I can't imagine a person not rationalizing for himself
reasons for whatever his conditon is. accounting for predictable causes of death or disease has to be part of thier "raison d'etre"' .+
Embrassing science would help some I guess.
Safta24

i learn a lot from it
thanks!!

It is always uplifting to me to see someone else "gets it". I have been a Hospice nurse for 15 years and I wouldn't change that for anything.A Hospice nurse's life isn't all sad, because we are included into so many lives. It is a honor to be welcomed into the homes of these dear people.I have learned so much from them and have used those experiences to become a better nurse, a better person. It has helped me through the deaths of my parents and my own illness with breast cancer. The nurses, aides, chaplains, and social workers that I work with daily understand just what a privilidge it is to know these patients and their families.I'm not saying that I don't ever cry because I do, it is sad when we lose a patient,but I'm also grateful that this patient came into my life because of what I learned from them. Hopefully I will be a Hospice nurse for the rest of my career, I can't imagine doing anything else! It just is so nice to read about someone who knows it, loves it, and understands it as much as I do.
Thank you so much for the article. G-mo