Dementia Can Kill You!!

I was working in a float pool as an LPN years ago until I landed something more permanent. It was always a crap shoot on what the agency would offer me in the form of jobs.

One assignment will never leave my mind; it was quite a horrible experience! They called and offered me a job working 3 pm until 11pm, for three evenings in a row. They assured me it was an “easy” assignment taking care of a ninety-something year old woman in her home while her husband recovered from a hip replacement.

They told me she was very sweet, but had a short term memory problem. She could not be left alone as she had very progressed Alzheimer’s. She and her husband were married for about a thousand years and had no children so he was very concerned about her safety.

I agreed to the assignment. It went from Sunday to Tuesday evening. I had to find a teenage babysitter because of the hours, I was never a fan of that but it was all that was available.

I arrived at her home at 3pm and relieved the nurse that had been there during the day. I should have known something was up when she practically ran out the door when I got there, giving me a brief overview of her care, meds, and routine.

I introduced myself to the little old lady, who was sweet and quiet. We sat down and talked for a few minutes, and then she looked at me strange and asked who I was again. This was only the beginning of the “memory issue.”

Through out the evening, she walked around the house calling for her husband “Allen.” I had to redirect her many, many times by telling her he was in the hospital getting better. Her memory of who I was lasted for 5 to 10 minutes at the most. She was even frightened by my presence several times if she would leave the room then come back in and see me, the stranger in her home!

This went on and on. I fixed supper with her by my side as much as possible, and as long as I kept her busy talking to me, I didn’t frighten her as often. We ate supper, had her meds, and watched TV until it was her scheduled bedtime of 9pm.

I recall counting the minutes until I could leave; reorienting someone that often is exhausting! I got her ready for bed and tucked her in. I thought finally I could relax a little.

After about 10 minutes, I could hear her moving around in bed, start crying, and then calling out “Allen” again. I came in to help which of course scared her but managed to settle her down again to sleep. This happened several times. After a few more times, I thought I would just let her fall asleep and not come in and scare her. Well, I heard her getting out of bed and moving things so I went in to help her. That’s when I saw it, she had decided to load a hand gun and place it near her because she was afraid to be alone and Allen wasn’t home. I froze in my tracks! It was sitting on her bedside table, with two boxes of bullets! Of course she saw me, and got scared but luckily she was on the other side of the room from the gun. I told her who I was and talked her into using the bathroom before getting back into bed. While she was in the bathroom, I frantically hid the gun and bullets in the kitchen, shaking like a leaf the whole time!

I helped her back into bed and tucked her in, by then she was pretty tired and finally fell asleep. Meanwhile, the whole situation sank into me. If I would have made any noise in the living room, she could have easily come out and shot me dead! Or just coming into her bedroom to help her, she could have blown me away! It was so hard not to cry thinking about it!

I watched the clock and finally 11pm rolled around. “I made it!” I thought. Then it was 11:10, and 11:15pm. Where was the night nurse? At 11:20pm I called the agency. They told me that the night nurse had called in and they couldn’t find a replacement. By then I felt like I was in the twilight zone! They told me I could go ahead and leave if I wanted to. I said “What? And leave her here all night alone, I can’t do that!” Obviously they didn’t care if I lost my license, but I sure did! I was basically stuck! Called my sitter who was angry I was already late and couldn’t sit for me all night. Just then, around midnight, someone was knocking at the door. It was the neighbor; she said she was notified by the agency that I couldn’t stay the night so she could relieve me. I nearly cried! I told her about the gun in her room. She said “Oh yah, Allen has them all over the house; she probably has another one on the table by now!”

After that statement I promptly thanked her and left in a hurry. Did I mention this was in Montana? Well, it scared me pretty bad and I told the agency they could stick the next two nights where the sun doesn’t shine!