Confessions of a 30-something RN grad

I was 3-1/2 months from turning 40. I had started at Square 1 with college at the age of 34. 5-1/2 years of part- to full-time school for a 2-1/2 year degree. All while raising our 3 kids with my husband. I had put way too much time and effort into this effort not to pass.

Got to the testing site and went through the whole security process. Then the questions started. There were no good questions and there were NO RIGHT ANSWERS!!! I just kept choosing what I thought was the least wrong answer. When the screen turned gray, my heart jumped into my throat and I squealed, "Nooooo, I have to get more right!" After exiting w/ my fingerprint, I headed to the bathroom to take care of my nauseated, bubbling tummy. Grabbed my purse & cell phone from the locker & headed to the car. My entire body was buzzing, felt like I was holding a buzz saw or something. So I turned on my phone to call someone. Wait! My phone won't turn on!!! I had to drive all the way home, 45 minutes, headed straight to the Verizon store to get my phone fixed and then called my friend from school, absolutely certain I had failed. Called my hubby who said he was sure I passed. Couldn't sit still that whole day, couldn't sleep that night. Logged onto the BON next morning at 9:01am, knowing the list was updated overnight but not listed until 9:00am. Squeezed my eyes shut really tight. Opened one very slightly and there was my name. Logged off of BON & logged back in just to make sure I was seeing clearly. Then I screamed. Then I cried. Then I had to re-check the BON site about a dozen times over the next couple of days, praying they hadn't realized their mistake & removed my name. The NCLEX is definitely the most hateful experience in my entire life, bar none! There is no amount of warning or advice that can prepare you for the moment that screen goes gray, whether at 75 or 175 questions!

Hey I am 40 and just passed a few weeks ago. Mine shutoff at 75 but I felt that I got at least 70 percent right, remember you have to miss almost 50% of the questions to fail. Now comes the hard part finding a job.

You are probably a great nurse but you may have missed your true calling that being a writer, a very, very good writer!

Ohh..WOOOOOWWWW nclex registration @ 11 a.m. completed today; first response from nclex @ 1700 today as well, nclex info. verification~checked; another email one minute later, ATT information provided! Too much for one day!!! Called to schedule a testing date...and to make it more exciting...scheduled to test on my birthday!!!!!!!!! July 5th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ 8 am in Las Vegas baby!!!!

I posted this on my facebook earlier, few minutes after my last notification...I come back once a while in here during the day to help myself built strength. I know life will be ok with me, I'm hoping. I am going through a lot of stress at this time of my life...done with school, hubby lost his job, parents getting old ( I need to help them very very soon), my kids are not happy here in Utah, I have to pass the NCLEX, studying until I take the NCLEX, not many job opportunites for us new grads...and my hubby still can't find a job:*(....bills piling up...credit cards starting to build up...and we gave 30 day notice to move out of this apartment y the end of July....thinking my husband or I would have a job in California. My parents live there, my kids want to live there, and I applied for my boards there...Ohhh geez! trying to stay strong... but it's difficult at times; I cry in silence where no one can see me.

I have to go back to studying...congrats to all that have made it and good luck to all that are still looking for a job.

I always looked foward at finishing school and how "cool" and "exciting" it would be to be a RN...I'm scared of not finding a job and the fun is holding on to the last mm of my soul.

To emmanewgrad keep ur head up; for this to shall come to past. Every SOLDIER has a story to tell. I was hoping to start nursing school in June 2007, but upon request got pregnant with my fourth child. I already had three teenagers at home, I sucked it up and said trouble don't last always. His dad got killed Feb 2007 when I was 5 months pregnant. I thought I wouldn't make it, but I had promised my kids father as well as myself. So I had my son in June 2007; wouldn't trade him for the world.I finished my prereqs and started the nursing program (LPN/LPTN to RN Transition) in June 2008. I graduated wth honors on May 8, 2009 and passed my boards a month later. All this with a 1 year old pulling on my coat tail. I told the Lord plenty of times that I can't do this. So now that's it's over I hear melodies from heaven raining down on me. "My Father is a King. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." You wouldn't believe the changed person on this side of this email. One word of encouragement as u take that NCLEX that I found helped me was telling myself the answer is up here, one of these four.

I swear you made me almost cry as I read your story...but girl! the last sentence made me laugh!

Congrats!!! I feel your pain and I know our Heavenly father watches over all. He's helped me stay afloat.

Oh, and Happy soon to be Birthday to you also.

4 years ago, i experienced nearly the exact same scenario at 34 years old---this story brought back so many (stressful, but fulfilling) memories!!! i was checking the brn as soon as i got home (like it really was going to be there). thanks for sharing!!!

Great story! Thoroughyly enjoyed reading it. CONGRATS TO ALL OF YOU WHO PASSED.