New DON is Unprofessional

  1. 0 I have a problem with our new DON! She/he gossips about other nurses often. I found out recently from a co-worker that this manager gossiped about me (I know it's true b/c she knew personal things that only this manager would know). I want to go to HRD and complain. This nurse that confided in me asked me not to because she didn't want her name to be brought up. I am also afraid to go to human resources and complain because this DON could make it hard on me thereafter.

    I think it's highly unprofessional for any person in management to gossip about others! It hurt even worse when I found out that I was included in the gossip. It makes me want to quit, and I love my job (or I did). I miss our old DON terribly, at least he was very professional and kept everyones private lives discrete. This new DON will tell everyone in the room who got in trouble for what and will tell the nurses closest to him/her little details about other nurses. I even witnessed this a few times.

    I know one nurse who IS going to complain about his/her unprofessionalism. I am hoping that this will help. Of course, the "clique" that is in with this DON will stand by his/her side. I am just at loss as to what to do, what to think, and deeply hurt!

    (sorry for the grammer, I am in need of sleep).
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  3. Visit  skittlebear profile page

    About skittlebear

    Joined Sep '05; Posts: 412; Likes: 313.

    22 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  tango.in.paris profile page
    1
    Geez, thats a tough one but I can sympathize ...... Ive got a painful DON too - although I havent heard her gossip - her problem is she berates everyone publicly if they do something she doesnt approve of. Still crap behaviour. She is so firmly entrenched in my ward that fighting her will only turn out badly for the staff. Im not doing anything about her behaviour because Im so new and am still finding my footing, so my approach is to stay out of her way for now and I try to angle for PM or night shifts when shes not around. Maybe thats an option for you too. Good luck!
    skittlebear likes this.
  5. Visit  skittlebear profile page
    0
    Thanks for replying. I have actually thought about going to night shift, but we don't have an opening at the present time. I don't want to leave this job but I also don't want to work in an environment where I feel as though I can't trust management. I've worked in this facility for a while without any problems...until now.
  6. Visit  lowski profile page
    1
    It could be worse. Your Nurse manager could be sisters with the HR Director like in my hospital. Talk about trying to get "fair and just"...it just doesn't happen.
    skittlebear likes this.
  7. Visit  tango.in.paris profile page
    3
    Quote from lowski
    It could be worse. Your Nurse manager could be sisters with the HR Director like in my hospital. Talk about trying to get "fair and just"...it just doesn't happen.
    Crikey, talk about a rock and a hard place! Skittlebear, if you like your job and your co-workers, and the DON isnt going anywhere and you dont want to go anywhere (for now), then I guess you just have to cope. Be professional, stay out of his/her way, do your work as best as possible, ignore the gossip (hard because it hurts), and only deal with the DON if and when the need arises ..... and most importantly, be selective about what you share in the workplace! Chin up, it could be worse as lowski has said!! :spin:
    Virgo_RN, caliotter3, and skittlebear like this.
  8. Visit  shiccy profile page
    1
    In many states it's not only unprofessional but also illegal to inform others why and how a person was disciplined.

    If something is bothering you, you can confront her yourself, or go to HR. It's really the only options. The only thing that's going to happen with this, however, is she's going to get talked to. It's not going to fix anything as far as getting your old DON back / probably won't get rid of the new DON, so you have to figure out if you want to pursue things or not.
    skittlebear likes this.
  9. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    7
    If you stay in your current job, keep your head down and your mouth shut, and try to stay off the radar. Do not trust this person. Do not engage in "office politics." Just do your job and go home. If she tries to gossip to you about someone else, you can convey a sense of shock that someone in her position would violate another person's privacy--"I'm a little surprised by what you just said. I thought such things were supposed to be kept confidential."--and walk away.

    Every time I hear about managers like this one, I'm grateful I have a good one.
  10. Visit  SuesquatchRN profile page
    5
    What Miranda said. I was about to use her exact words - keep your head down, your mouth shut, and your powder dry.
  11. Visit  rosey2007cna profile page
    1
    I agree with what a previous poster said. I think confronting the DON about what she said about you might be the best option. I think that if you do not do this she will continue to drag your name into the dirt. Good luck to you!!!
    skittlebear likes this.
  12. Visit  zuzi profile page
    8
    i don't want to dissaponted you, but, gossip is a reallity, and you need to live with it! is how it is in real world.

    is unprofessional...totally agree.
    i, you, we, don't like it...totally agree
    we don't like a place with gossip management and staff...totally agree

    but is how it is...this is reality and you need to agree and live with it!

    after you are perfect agree that that will be happen ever, stay away of them.

    they could not be professional, or is very very very hard to find a professional one. is an "unspoken rule" in health care" the gossip, they will gossip ever!

    so is about you!

    1. if you feel or know for sure that is a clique there, any type of clique (family, love, race, social, religious, financial...) stay away from them!

    don't talk to much, don't act too much in a personal way, don't disscus any how with them, be just a nurse.

    a clique is a clique and the rules are others than in a team. don't confuse a team with a clique!

    because i didn't know well this type cultural background here, many times i just was there, catched beetwen them gossips and is not pleasent at all, but was going!

    google it a little about a clique characteristiques.

    "the clique" is a reality.... is a suriviving style in health care....unprofessional....but real!

    we don't like it, because is a social abnormality and we know it, but is a reality. many nurses are very good adapted at it, beeing part of it, or choosing to stay still ....lol....straight!

    is just your option...

    2. change your shift if you can...but don't forget... the difference beetwen team and clique at one point is very thin... in healthcare.

    3. agree that you are alone and keep going, will pass...

    and don't forget be nurse at first, at lest, for ever!
  13. Visit  SuesquatchRN profile page
    4
    Quote from rosey2007cna
    I agree with what a previous poster said. I think confronting the DON about what she said about you might be the best option. I think that if you do not do this she will continue to drag your name into the dirt. Good luck to you!!!
    Oh, I don't think so. Confrontation will insure that the DON finds a way to terminate her.
    Virgo_RN, Simba&NalasMom, caliotter3, and 1 other like this.
  14. Visit  ROLO profile page
    1
    So, does she ever gossip to you? My boss is "just one of the girls," sort of wanting/trying to be everyone's friend, which I don't think is working. I've made a point, when she "goes there with gossip," to tell her that I probably don't need to be hearing what she's telling me. She knows that I am not into the gossip. I'd like to think that she thinks about what she is saying now, but I am sure that SOME gossip-type behavior continues.
    skittlebear likes this.
  15. Visit  morte profile page
    2
    also remember, that the gossiping behavior on the part of a superior, is not always as simple as it seems....they may well be soliciting feed back....of one variety or another.
    skittlebear and caliotter3 like this.


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