Men in Nursing/Men in Society - page 3

Hello . . . I came across three articles that piqued my interest due to the recent thread about men in nursing and why some leave. They are more geared towards men in society in general and whether... Read More

  1. by   twarlik
    Originally posted by hbscott
    What is up with that?
    I was simply responding to what you said. Yes, I may have focused on one particular point, but it was one that touched a nerve. Apparently I misinterpreted what you said, and for that I apologize.
    I can't really comment on many of the other issues you raised since I am only a student and have worked for the government for the last five years. I could tell you all about passive aggressive behavior in government offices, but I guess that would be far to off topic. As for going off topic, well you did make a point of linking to another thread that focused on the "gay issue." I felt that the thread was leaning in that direction, so I went with it. These threads, like actual conversations, develop over time and sometimes go in different directions than what was originally intended.
  2. by   hbscott
    Thanks Todd. I see your point as my reference to another thread did lead the discussion to this "hot button" issue. You are quite correct and good attention to detail.

    I wish you well in your scholarly endeavors and I pray that you find nursing practice personally rewarding. All I can offer you based upon my experience is that when push comes to shove (proverbially speaking) go down the path that leads to your own personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. You won't be disappointed.

    Good Luck!

    -HBS
  3. by   twarlik
    Originally posted by hbscott
    I wish you well in your scholarly endeavors and I pray that you find nursing practice personally rewarding. All I can offer you based upon my experience is that when push comes to shove (proverbially speaking) go down the path that leads to your own personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. You won't be disappointed.
    Thanks for the advice and kind words!
  4. by   Peeps Mcarthur
    Order up!!....................Can O' Worms!!

    By AMV
    My husband agreed. He said it sounded too much like nursing a baby, etc. So I wonder, how many other men out there feel that way? As far as the associations to being gay or a "failed physician" (remember the movie "Meet the Parents"?)
    As one entertains the possibility of becoming a nurse, the social impact of appearence must be considered. Even if one is female, there is a stereotype that is not exactly honorable.

    A little annecdote:

    I first considered nursing many years ago. I was fully prepared(or so I thought) to enter a nontraditional field for males. I decided to go directly to the school in my area and talk to someone about it. As I approached the school the door flung open and droves of students piled out on break. All of them with make-up, sweaters over thier shoulders.............................and to my utter horror, every one of them had those white caps
    There were no males, not even a janitor for gawds sakes! I thought, "oh God, what am I thinking?" "why aren't there any men..........am I the only male that wants to be a nurse?"............"obviously, the cap is part of it..............no not meant for men........this is clearly not a place for a man" "So, why did I think of becoming a nurse?" "What's my problem?"

    Didn't tell anyone..............not my parents, not my buddies,not my girfriend. I thought that I must be dysfunctional or something. No, I never thought of being effeminent, but percieved as such for wanting to attend to an all female vocation.
    Flash forward many years later. I have told everyone that I am becoming a nurse. I struggle still to shake the stygma of the male entering a womans' world. From my first day on, to the day I walked away,every chance nursing had to show equity,from the curicculum to the socialization of studygroups, was neatly boxed up and piled into the impressions that I had shaped so many years ago.

    The only difference was that the caps were gone. All my instincts screamed at me "this is for women you weirdo!" I fought to suppress it for 2 semesters, but it proved itself in an experiment of nongender equality as repeatable. In science, even social science, that is as close to "proof" as one can get.

    Brad
  5. by   agent
    Well Im a guy and Im going to do it anyway..

    im not afraid, im not intimidated by these women who would choose to "block" me out.

    I truly feel I can excel and I don't intend to let anyone or their discrimination hold me back. So enough of the ridicule, ill be an RN and do my best. I will try to rise above the petty jokes and cliqish behavior.

    I will be more mature, I will be the better man!
  6. by   slyhrtbt
    Originally posted by AMV
    As far as the associations to being gay or a "failed physician" (remember the movie "Meet the Parents"?) [/B]

    I have been asked repeatedly if I wanted to go on to Medical school My reply is always" no because I will be A much better nurse than I would be a doctor. Plus I have never had the desire to be a doctor and feel like I can make a bigger difference as a nurse.

    As far as being percieved as "gay" i hear it from time to time. Doesn't really bother me cause the people I care about know that I am strait. The only thing that would bother me is if a girl I was interested in thought I was gay cause it might ruin my chance with her.
  7. by   agent
    I guess the wedding ring on my finger might give away the fact im not gay..

    since gay marriage isnt yet approved.
  8. by   twarlik
    Originally posted by agent
    I guess the wedding ring on my finger might give away the fact im not gay..
    Well, not really...I know several gay couples who have exchanged rings. Just 'cause the government doesn't sanction it, doesn't mean people aren't already doing it.
  9. by   burp
    Im a 5'7 270 lb body builder . spent 8 yrs in the army as a ranger. am married to a rn[my first preceptor] and teach martial arts in my spare time . and yeah im a rn too. I find my masculinity to be a great asset at work. ive never been abused by anyone [one md tried and i let him know that i would take his tone personal and that might be a problem for him and I]. I DO AGENCY WORK NOW FOR THE $ AND TO AVOID OFFICE POLITCS!!! in my experience men are treated better in nursing than women. mostly older people ask me why i didnt become a md. I just tell them i enjoy what i do now . Im a seriously assertive person at work and it has served me well. I think we as men and women can learn from one another , women by being more straightfoward and men by having a little more tact at times. Ultimately who we are at the bedside is a reflection of who we are in our personal lives, if we could learn to appricate that and not criticize it we would all be better off.
  10. by   agent
    Great post burp.

    I really appreciate the insight. I'm a decent size guy too, not as big as you, but 210 and atheletic.

    I don't plan on being walked on at all. I know ill get some crap being a new guy on their staff, but I still don't plan on being a doormat.
  11. by   AMV
    Good for both of you. I think the assertiveness has a lot to do with how you are treated - no *****yness - I hate that, but being assertive in a positive way and knowing what you are talking about to back it up!

    I had a conversation at work the other day with another nurse on the floor - also a woman. One of the guys that work with us was kind of giving her a hard time for constantly bending over backward to please everyone - in a nice way. Ill call him Mike - he said, "Julie (not her name) has been getting up to 6 patients here in good old PCU, can you believe that?"

    I said, "are they making us take 6 now?"

    'Julie' said, "no, ER has been desperte a few times to get a patient up to a bed here and I just couldn't do that to a patient... make them wait for a bed until another nurse came in or wait till the next shift."

    I said, "do you realize that there are studies that show that when nurses are given too many patients, the safety of those very patients goes down?"

    'Mike' said "yeah, like drug errors and everything."

    I said, "not to mention the fact that when we do this, we LET them staff us inadequately and they will think they can keep doing this (on our unit the staffing ratio USED to be 4:1 - now it's 5 and that is VERY busy with the kind of patients we have).

    'Julie" said, well, I just wanted to try to work things out with everyone...."

    and 'Mike" said, "yeah, I was thinking of initiating 'safe harbor' if they asked me to take 6" - in other words - no way would he have taken 6!

    There are men and women in nursing who are assertive and men and women who are not - but I have to say - for the most part - it is the men who are much more assertive and the women I work with who tend to complain to each other, yet won't stand up and do much constructive with their complaints and ideas. I think this is one thing that hurts nursing because such a high percentage of us are women. I think that it is NOT just that we are treated this way because we are women - but often that we LET it happen. We see injustice, we complain to each other, but then it stops there. Instead of doing something to try to change things, we often feel helpless and frustrated and complain even more.
    Last edit by AMV on Aug 15, '03
  12. by   sjoe
    AMV writes: "There are men and women in nursing who are assertive and men and women who are not - but I have to say - for the most part - it is the men who are much more assertive and the women I work with who tend to complain to each other, yet won't stand up and do much constructive with their complaints and ideas. I think this is one thing that hurts nursing because such a high percentage of us are women. I think that it is NOT just that we are treated this way because we are women - but often that we LET it happen. We see injustice, we complain to each other, but then it stops there. Instead of doing something to try to change things, we often feel helpless and frustrated and complain even more."

    And that is one of the reasons my sig line is:
  13. by   YukonSean
    Yes, you are correct. The patriarchal titles of "nurse", and especially "male nurse" have to go! From now on, I will be a "wellness consultant", because I've always wanted to be a consultant of one sort or another.

    You too, speak the truth, Twarlik Todd: except in this case, I realised that Mick Jagger was in no danger of losing his job to my own musical ineptitude! I had to put down the guitar, and pick up the stethoscope, for the sake of humanity's ears.

    In all seriousness, I do not care about the homosexual vs. heterosexual foolishness (sexual orientation is innate, choice has nothing to do with it), but I do become annoyed with the recurring, stupid, question, "Have you ever thought about going all the way to medical school?" This is the stereotype we need to attack. I find that many people are completely ignorant of the scope of any nurse's practice (whether the clinician is male or female). Witness: A family member recently asked me if I "do first aid" for a living! ("No. I work in the area of inpatient mental health, psychiatry, chemical dependence..."
    "What is that? Like counselling or something?")
    Help.

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