Is Favoritism in workplace a form of Discrimmination?

MBARN08 · Nov 11, 2008, 04:04 PM

Re: Is Favoritism in workplace a form of Discrimmination?

Originally Posted by vamapega

I feel like this is a dead-end-job. I am fearful of what he may do to me. You are right, those nurses he promoted earn little than me. My rate is a little higher on them. Question: I have a family to feed, to leave my job without any replacement will be hard on them. If I stay in my unit, what will your suggestion my actions to show? still show my manager I am interested in growing? Thanks.

I was in your same position and I was not a nurse. I was a Social Worker. To answer your question, you need to stop thinking that if you give your employer one more chance, he/she will change. It is similar to an abusive relationship: You continue to get battered, then he/she will tell you "sorry... it won't happen again.... hang in there... give me time... you are special... I would hate to lose you..." I could go on but the reality is that you cannot waste any more of your valuable time! Life is too short. This employer has exhausted all of their chances.. After every encounter he/she blows you off and moves on to something else. In the meantime you are waiting for something that will never happen. Stop the cycle of abuse and move on!

To land another job take your director, supervisor, manager, and anyone else on that floor off of your reference list!! When I was first attempting to find another job I put my director down as a reference. Well, guess what? He did not say anything bad about me because it is against the law. However, he dropped bad hints...

I found out through another co-worker after many good interviews turned into rejections that he will torpedo transfers or job searches of his employees. He will *sigh* hard over the phone or talk in very monotone voice about his employee to an interested employer. Once I figured out his game (I had been suspicious), I took him off of my reference list and referred all calls through HR. Soon afterwards I landed a dream job. He was shocked!

In fact, he yelled at me in front of my co-workers for betraying his department when I put in my two week notice. As if employment there was a professional sport and I was making lots of money from our fan base! I allowed him to vent but afterwards I responded coldly, "I do not understand why you are so angry or surprised. You knew I wanted to expand in my career. I told you more then once. Since I obviously cannot do so here, I took a job somewhere else." He said nothing more to me but shouted angrily as he walked off. I went back to my work and happily left two weeks later without speaking to him the rest of the time.

vamapega · Nov 11, 2008, 11:17 PM

Re: Is Favoritism in workplace a form of Discrimmination?

[quote=MBA2BRN;3242746]I was in your same position and I was not a nurse. I was a Social Worker. To answer your question, you need to stop thinking that if you give your employer one more chance, he/she will change. It is similar to an abusive relationship: You continue to get battered, then he/she will tell you "sorry... it won't happen again.... hang in there... give me time... you are special... I would hate to lose you..." I could go on but the reality is that you cannot waste any more of your valuable time! Life is too short. This employer has exhausted all of their chances.. After every encounter he/she blows you off and moves on to something else. In the meantime you are waiting for something that will never happen. Stop the cycle of abuse and move on!

Your story is an encouragement to me. And you are right, this is a cycle of abuse if he keeps on giving me false hopes. I happened to go back to work, I sensed everyone knew what happened but won't say anything to me. My charge nurse pulled me aside, started telling me her story of applying so many times for a position until she got this position as Assistant manager in our unit. She told me, "Just keep applying again and again, this may not be the time for you but don't give up". I feel that this is just a joke...because you are right, if I apply again....what's going to happen? I am not his favorite..so chances are I will be rejected again.

Next incidence, the Clinical Nurse III, comes up to me and asks me "Are you ok?...Just don't mind our manager". But yet, she is one of the "suck ups"!

And you know what? I did put him as a reference to my other job application previously, and no wonder I am not getting a job offer. But how would you direct it to HR? And whose name do you have to put down?

MBARN08 · Nov 12, 2008, 08:34 AM

Re: Is Favoritism in workplace a form of Discrimmination?

Originally Posted by vamapega

And you know what? I did put him as a reference to my other job application previously, and no wonder I am not getting a job offer. But how would you direct it to HR? And whose name do you have to put down?

On many job applications it is required to write down your former supervisor, so do it. They also ask, "May we contact this employer?" write "NO!" I only had one interviewer ask me why I wrote "No" about contacting my current employer and they hired me anyway. During the interviews I always gave prospective employers permission to contact HR because I was and am a good employee so there is nothing to hide.

As time goes on, your current employer will be a distant former employer on your list and the "No" will no longer be such a big deal to interested employers. In fact, your current employer may turn into a "Yes" contact. My former employer that was a "No" contact is now a "Yes" because my former director and supervisor were fired almost a year after I left.

Both lost their jobs because they lost too much money for the department. All of the money makers left around the time I left and there was no one to train/motivate others to become a money maker.

By the way, do not say anything bad about your prior employer during your job interviews... Focus on your objective. You want to expand your career and you have the skills, experience, talents, and education to do so. GL!

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Is Favoritism in workplace a form of Discrimmination?

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