PTSD- Am I alone??

Nurses Disabilities

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Im a long time reader who decided to finally post. This site is a major support for me!!

I was wondering, are there any nurses out there that struggle with ptsd due to child abuse??? If so, how does that impact your work, and how do you manage your symptoms???? Have you ever told anyone at work?? Any support groups you know of???

I really would appreciate your feedback here!!!

Thanks.

Specializes in Med Surg, Nursing Administration for SNF.

Oh this is such a grrrrrrrrr topic for me. I also grew up in alcoholic home complete with a step monster who liked to do many wierd things to make sure my life was miserable (stand on a chair in the middle of the nite, not feed me, send me to school with horrid or no lunch, not wash my clothes, etc etc) dad didnt know coz he usually was out of town and she convinced me that he wd die of a heart attack. So I went to school dirty, smelling of urine (from wetting the bed) and nasty stale lunches. Do you understand the pain and embarrassment of always being last to be picked for games in PE? Having the other kids point and call you names coz you smell? Noone wants to sit next to you. The other kids will sit three to a seat on the bus rather than sit next to you. Noone wants to be your friend. Noone likes you. You want clean clothes. You want to have a bath. You want to be like them. You dont know who to tell. When you steal someones lunch out of desparation and hunger you get caught and paddled in front of the class. The neighbors know something is up but DONT WANT TO GET INVOLVED. She (stepmom) fools everyone into feeling sorry for her that she has this wretched awful child. You finally run away only to be raped, etc and then fall into the arms of more monsters. Then, after you discover drugs and eventually heroin, one could only wonder why you would want to be "straight"anyway. I have alot of "isms", paranoia, hate, etc still left over. I hate telling my story at anniversary time and leave much out. Counseling has not helped. They just listen. We are far from unique. They hear so much from so many wounded and damaged people like us. I can get that from my wonderful, adoring husband who is also in recovery. Recovery has taught me that the past is past, but not wanting to shut the door on it is still tough. I am seven years clean and sober and know that drugs will never be the answer, but am still searching for resolution. I have forgiven the stepmom, but not the kids, neighbors and general public that chose to turn their heads. No baby girl, you are so not alone - but when you feel like this - you can still be "alone" among us. Keep trudging forward. I have faith that God will not forsake or leave us as long as we dont leave Him. Good luck and pm anytime, anyone. You are loved by your sister in sobriety.

Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

Bossynurse: I'm sorry you had to live through so much pain, but I'm glad to hear you are in recovery.

Blessings

Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

I have major depression with an associated anxiety disorder. I am very well controlled on medication. I had a long search in order to find the type of physician that could work with toward helping me control this illness.

You might need two things. Evaluation by a psychiatrist that has experience with PTSD to assist you with medication therapy along with a therapist that can assist you with learning new techniques to help you when a panic attack occurs.

You will have to do some research to find someone. I suggest that you schedule a first "get to know you meeting" before you make a decision.

I have worked in psychiatry for a few years and I can't tell you what the right therapist and a good psychiatrist can do for you. Good Luck. Diane

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Oh this is such a grrrrrrrrr topic for me. I also grew up in alcoholic home complete with a step monster who liked to do many wierd things to make sure my life was miserable (stand on a chair in the middle of the nite, not feed me, send me to school with horrid or no lunch, not wash my clothes, etc etc) dad didnt know coz he usually was out of town and she convinced me that he wd die of a heart attack. So I went to school dirty, smelling of urine (from wetting the bed) and nasty stale lunches. Do you understand the pain and embarrassment of always being last to be picked for games in PE? Having the other kids point and call you names coz you smell? Noone wants to sit next to you. The other kids will sit three to a seat on the bus rather than sit next to you. Noone wants to be your friend. Noone likes you. You want clean clothes. You want to have a bath. You want to be like them. You dont know who to tell. When you steal someones lunch out of desparation and hunger you get caught and paddled in front of the class. The neighbors know something is up but DONT WANT TO GET INVOLVED. She (stepmom) fools everyone into feeling sorry for her that she has this wretched awful child. You finally run away only to be raped, etc and then fall into the arms of more monsters. Then, after you discover drugs and eventually heroin, one could only wonder why you would want to be "straight"anyway. I have alot of "isms", paranoia, hate, etc still left over. I hate telling my story at anniversary time and leave much out. Counseling has not helped. They just listen. We are far from unique. They hear so much from so many wounded and damaged people like us. I can get that from my wonderful, adoring husband who is also in recovery. Recovery has taught me that the past is past, but not wanting to shut the door on it is still tough. I am seven years clean and sober and know that drugs will never be the answer, but am still searching for resolution. I have forgiven the stepmom, but not the kids, neighbors and general public that chose to turn their heads. No baby girl, you are so not alone - but when you feel like this - you can still be "alone" among us. Keep trudging forward. I have faith that God will not forsake or leave us as long as we dont leave Him. Good luck and pm anytime, anyone. You are loved by your sister in sobriety.

Great message - thank you. I am so sorry you had to go thru all that to get to where you are now! ((((((((( bossy nurse )))))))))) I don't understand why we have to go thru what we do. I do know your message is a great comfort to me and probably to many others who are reading this!

take care and God bless

I have major depression with an associated anxiety disorder. I am very well controlled on medication. I had a long search in order to find the type of physician that could work with toward helping me control this illness.

You might need two things. Evaluation by a psychiatrist that has experience with PTSD to assist you with medication therapy along with a therapist that can assist you with learning new techniques to help you when a panic attack occurs.

You will have to do some research to find someone. I suggest that you schedule a first "get to know you meeting" before you make a decision.

I have worked in psychiatry for a few years and I can't tell you what the right therapist and a good psychiatrist can do for you. Good Luck. Diane

Good feedback here too - and yes, to anyone reading, like she said, keep looking if you don't get what you need - sometimes you have to go thru a few therapists before you get the right one, who will not reinforce you being a victim but will show you ways to get through and not just function - but live, with joy! It takes time but you can get there! It takes pain too -unfortunately - but it is doable!

Specializes in student.

PTSD snd there is know way I am alone.

I am on the road to recovery (physical and mental) and I need some insight.

Background ... Just Because.......I was assaulted during a robbery with a knife. (Yep! He tried to kill me with the knife during intense violent struggle. Unknown perpetrator, unprovoked attack as he jumped me from behind. Luckily many witnesses during the daylight attack. Fought with him so he could not slice my throat but because he did not say 'I want to kill you' he only got 5 years) motivating factor was money for drugs.. OH yeah he had a multi page prior wrap sheet.

OK... now that all the background info is out of the way!

Now more than ever I want to pursue a life long dream..... Helping to care for others in need ! LPN to work in geriatrics (Hopefully climbing the ladder to RN)..... Has anyone else out here had to deal with PTSD issues while in this field. I have found many posts re; PTSD but most have to deal with the traumas of the war abroad or those succumbed by woman assaulted during domestic violence(Both horrible). I being a male (and now prior contractor) would like to talk and share with other(s) that have been assaulted and suffer from PTSD but continue there career in health care. What about sleep, medication or counselling struggles? What about the struggles with rememberences of the trauma during work?

Thanks to all that had and continue to support me as I will stand again NEW AND IMPROVED...

Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.

I am so sorry to hear of everyone's traumatic experiences. My sister and father were both sexually abused as children, and there was a good chance my mother was also. My Dad didn't tell anyone until he reached the age of 80! I initially attended a 12 week session about childhood sexual trauma with my Dad in order to support him and learn more about the repercussions. Then we attended a 6 week workshop for men only. As a result of that 6 week workshop, 4 other men, my Dad and I started a weekly support group. They asked me to be a part of the group due to my experience with recovering from addiction and 20 years of 12 Step work. It has been a privilege to be a part of this group of brave individuals who wanted to find a path to healing and a return to joy.

There are a variety of recovery groups for those who have experienced abuse in their lives, whether sexual, psychological, emotional, physical, spiritual, or a combination of these types of abuse. My sister has designed a support group ministry for women at her church which has had amazing impact on the lives of those with the courage to take that first step. Here is a small list of groups that might be able to direct those interested to a group in your area.

Prayers for all!

Jack

Specializes in Head trauma Rehab, NeuroPsych 3.

Is this thread still active, I'd like to know how so many of your are doing still today..... I'm 30 years a Nurse and so very proud and humbled at the same time for all the opportunities I've had to teach, heal and give to my patients and co-workers... but it's time for me to have some help and support too...

So many thanks to all for your openess and sharing.... I'm only learning / confronting my own PTSD and trying to understand and change the panic attacks, still trying to recognize the triggers and the depression I feel as I return to isolation and avoidance.... today I started buspar, just started, so I haven't any changes, good or bad to report, but I have hope things can change, and am open to taking an antidrpressant and meet for therapy... I'd love to stay working, but doubt that I'll be able..... It's been empowering to hear of others transition and even recovery or at least their ability to return to higher function and productivity.... agaon thanks for the links and information given here on this post...

Although I am new to this thread, I can offer something here. I am a survivor of incest and subsequent PTSD and have been helped through therapy (especially with EMDR) and medications including Vyvanse (for ADHD), Cybalta (for depression), Lamictal (for anxiety), and Trazadone (to sleep). You may think that I am really drugged out, but I think they keep me sane and on a forward path.

I am a first year nursing student and having trouble in my clinical setting. Being able to touch and examine the patients is really hard for me. In my past, touching was associated with intimacy and abuse, so I find that I am very confused, have a trouble getting organized, and may have to repeat the entire semester - or else quit nursing school - which makes me even more depressed.

Have any of you dealt with this ambiguity of touching your patients with empathy, professionalism, and not having it associated with your own abuse?

Thanks.

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