Nurses struggling with mental illness - page 52

I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major... Read More

  1. by   TopazLover
    [quote=zoeboboey;3236766]Wonderful, it sounds like! (((((((((((( aky )))))))) please stay in touch!

    BTW does your screen name have anything to do with your dx?

    xo
    Now in desert for the winter. Great sun and feel good. DD having some problems and calls crying at times, but can get back on track with some encouragement. DH probably has meniscus tear and is back on narcs. Both of us hate it but he is doing OK so far.

    My name is a reflection of one of my passions, crocheting. Right now not doing any because of my need to R&R. Have afghan started. Usually make toys for Christmas, but doubt I will do any this year. Teddy bears are my favorite but I don't have the patience yet to count each stitch.

    Money is tight, as it is for all who are retired. I know I could get a job but don't feel up to it now. DH can't work due to his injuries. Stress is always present for all of us so I don't get too upset by all this. Mostly I just focus on keeping healthy and learning how to do everything necessary to live as we do. This is mostly because I suspect DH will have need of further surg. and will be out of commission to keep our little place going.

    I have fewer bad moments than good so I am blessed.
  2. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from aknottedyarn
    Now in desert for the winter. Great sun and feel good. DD having some problems and calls crying at times, but can get back on track with some encouragement. DH probably has meniscus tear and is back on narcs. Both of us hate it but he is doing OK so far.
    ((((((((((((((AKY ))))))))))) Still praying for all y'all.

    Boy it's tough especially December, here's hoping you are all blessed beyond measure!

    xo
  3. by   NurseExec
    I've been away for awhile. It's been a rough few months, and I just wanted to check back in. I have bipolar I, rapid cycling, mixed state, and after I had gallbladder surgery I ended up in the mother of all mixed states. Anesthesia and lack of meds from throwing up post op I suspect. Anyhow, I took a LOA from my job as a DON, and checked myself into a psych unit before something horrible happened. I'm back to work now (I was out 3 weeks), on a whole new set of meds (Geodon and Tegretol) and am slowly putting my life back on track. I am so blessed to have a wonderful administrator and department head team who have my back, and support me 100%. Most touching were the CNAs who came up to me after I got back telling me how much they missed me and asking if I was ok. I'm one lucky woman-- (a) to be alive, and (b) to be able to work and live my life with this sometimes crushing disease.
  4. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from NurseExec
    I've been away for awhile. It's been a rough few months, and I just wanted to check back in. I have bipolar I, rapid cycling, mixed state, and after I had gallbladder surgery I ended up in the mother of all mixed states. Anesthesia and lack of meds from throwing up post op I suspect. Anyhow, I took a LOA from my job as a DON, and checked myself into a psych unit before something horrible happened. I'm back to work now (I was out 3 weeks), on a whole new set of meds (Geodon and Tegretol) and am slowly putting my life back on track. I am so blessed to have a wonderful administrator and department head team who have my back, and support me 100%. Most touching were the CNAs who came up to me after I got back telling me how much they missed me and asking if I was ok. I'm one lucky woman-- (a) to be alive, and (b) to be able to work and live my life with this sometimes crushing disease.
    THANK GOD only 3 weeks!

    I am SO GLAD you are all right!


    A thread that might interest all -

    http://allnurses.com/forums/f98/my-f...al-353393.html
  5. by   NurseExec
    Quote from zoeboboey
    Wonderful, it sounds like! (((((((((((( aky )))))))) please stay in touch!

    BTW does your screen name have anything to do with your dx?

    xo



    Oo please be careful, sounds a little like akathesia which I had w/ a few med - esp the Geodon which made me want to jump thru a window to make that crawling out of my skin feeling STOP. Be safe. your doc can either lower your dose, prescribe something to tx the akathesia, or change you to another med. And, as you said, the s/e sometimes resolve themselves w/ time. Not advising, just sharing what worked for me. Actually I had a major hospitalization due to the Geodon's akathesia s/e. I feel for you Fuzzy! xo
    I have akasthisia from my Geodon as well, although not as severe as what I had with Abilify. I'll probably end up on Cogentin, considering I haven't been able to tolerate any of the other AAPs. It can be managed.
  6. by   TopazLover
    Quote from NurseExec
    I have akasthisia from my Geodon as well, although not as severe as what I had with Abilify. I'll probably end up on Cogentin, considering I haven't been able to tolerate any of the other AAPs. It can be managed.
    I missed you. Great to have you back. Any thing out of the usual can set us off, surg is especially difficult. Glad that you knew what to do and were not afraid to do it. I hate ak side effects. l hope they can get them under control soon.

    DH is in hosp. with pneumonia so my life is a little out of control now. Little sleep. I know that is a recipe for disaster for me. We also have a dog that acts like a recalcitrant 2-3 yr old. She also has bad abandonment issues so having him away is hard on her, as well. She was ready to charge the hospital to get him back yesterday. Fortunately she is only 25 lbs. so I can keep her under control.

    Keep doing what they tell you. I will be keeping you in my prayers.
  7. by   mustlovepoodles
    I'm new to this particular board. I've been depressed for about 37 years and only recently got bad enough to be hospitalized(I was suicidal.) Turns out I have bipolar. Greaaaaat. Just what I wanted to hear. They put me on a slew of meds and I was out for about 6wks--I'm a school nurse. It's a high-stress job, we have about 900 students. anyway, since my hospitalization I find that i'm on the edge of exploding nearly all the time. I can't get my psych to consider my meds--I was not like this last year! I'm just about to totally alienate my family and i get anxious every time I think about going to work.

    I guess my question would be: How do you all manage your moods when you're not well-controlled? I have an appt with a new psych, but not until January. In the meantime, I thrash on.

    I hope I can make it to the end of the school year. I've already decided to change schools, if I don't quit school nursing altogether. My big problem is, I HAVE to work. My DH is disabled and my 13yo son is disabled. But I hate working full-time. I feel like I have lost my footing at home. I no longer know where things are in the kitchen(DH is a SAHD), we're eating weird things for supper (Asparagus Lasagna, I kid you not:icon_roll) and our laundry is going to turn pink any day now. I used to work part time and I loved the home-making part of my life. Now it's all work, all caregiving, all the time. No fun, all mad, all manic all the time.

    Sheesh. I haven't had more that 3 okay days since September.
  8. by   TopazLover
    For me having support is one of the most important pieces. DH and DD are mine. Both have their own problems but always help when I tell them I need help. There are in person support groups for people with MI. This forum is also a huge help to me.

    When I was diagnosed I hated the label. Now I am glad I can hang a handle on what causes me to be the way I am. I still hate that I have MI, I can feel sorry for myself, if I want to. It is hard work to spend the effort with a psych that is willing to work with you. It is far easier to spend time worrying about pink underwear that has not happened yet. Keep laughing about DH efforts. He really is trying. My DH efforts are sometimes trying to me.

    Finding the right combo of drugs is tricky. Just check out some of the posts from many of us. Hang in there Jan. will be here soon.

    In the mean time- Is DH open to suggestions? Can you use that excess energy to write menus with him? Does he understand, accept your diagnosis?

    Keep coming back here. It helps to connect with the rest of us.
  9. by   NurseExec
    Quote from mustlovepoodles
    I'm new to this particular board. I've been depressed for about 37 years and only recently got bad enough to be hospitalized(I was suicidal.) Turns out I have bipolar. Greaaaaat. Just what I wanted to hear. They put me on a slew of meds and I was out for about 6wks--I'm a school nurse. It's a high-stress job, we have about 900 students. anyway, since my hospitalization I find that i'm on the edge of exploding nearly all the time. I can't get my psych to consider my meds--I was not like this last year! I'm just about to totally alienate my family and i get anxious every time I think about going to work.

    I guess my question would be: How do you all manage your moods when you're not well-controlled? I have an appt with a new psych, but not until January. In the meantime, I thrash on.

    I hope I can make it to the end of the school year. I've already decided to change schools, if I don't quit school nursing altogether. My big problem is, I HAVE to work. My DH is disabled and my 13yo son is disabled. But I hate working full-time. I feel like I have lost my footing at home. I no longer know where things are in the kitchen(DH is a SAHD), we're eating weird things for supper (Asparagus Lasagna, I kid you not:icon_roll) and our laundry is going to turn pink any day now. I used to work part time and I loved the home-making part of my life. Now it's all work, all caregiving, all the time. No fun, all mad, all manic all the time.

    Sheesh. I haven't had more that 3 okay days since September.
    Newly diagnosed, and your psych won't see you until January? You should be being seen every week to two weeks, and getting your meds tweaked based on how you're feeling. Have you considered changing? I personally love psychiatriac ARNPs--I've been with mine for 6 years. It's not necessary to feel crappy with the right care, I think.

    For me, transparency has been really important. My co-workers know I have bipolar disorder, and I'll just flat out tell them I'm having a weird day, when I am. Having someone know about it, not sucking it up, and having someone care about how I feel is important to my stability.

    Also, have you given any thought to taking a leave of absence from work (you have 12 weeks FMLA), and getting into a partial hosptialization program that can help you get some of the "how am I going to live with this" solved. Worked for me a few years ago.

    Working with this disease sucks. I run a 120 bed short term rehab SNF and some days I wish I could just bag it and be disabled. But ultimately, what I am is a nurse, and I would be lost without that, and my job. I expect that eventually, I'll have to find something less stressful, but I'm not living that far in the future...

    If you have any questions, feel free to email me

    Take care.
    Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Dec 15, '08 : Reason: Please do not post email addresses as per terms of service
  10. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from mustlovepoodles
    I'm new to this particular board. I've been depressed for about 37 years and only recently got bad enough to be hospitalized(I was suicidal.) Turns out I have bipolar. Greaaaaat. Just what I wanted to hear. They put me on a slew of meds and I was out for about 6wks--I'm a school nurse. It's a high-stress job, we have about 900 students. anyway, since my hospitalization I find that i'm on the edge of exploding nearly all the time. I can't get my psych to consider my meds--I was not like this last year! I'm just about to totally alienate my family and i get anxious every time I think about going to work.

    I guess my question would be: How do you all manage your moods when you're not well-controlled? I have an appt with a new psych, but not until January. In the meantime, I thrash on.

    I hope I can make it to the end of the school year. I've already decided to change schools, if I don't quit school nursing altogether. My big problem is, I HAVE to work. My DH is disabled and my 13yo son is disabled. But I hate working full-time. I feel like I have lost my footing at home. I no longer know where things are in the kitchen(DH is a SAHD), we're eating weird things for supper (Asparagus Lasagna, I kid you not:icon_roll) and our laundry is going to turn pink any day now. I used to work part time and I loved the home-making part of my life. Now it's all work, all caregiving, all the time. No fun, all mad, all manic all the time.

    Sheesh. I haven't had more that 3 okay days since September.
    Welcome to the forum! Wow you are so not at a fun stage right now. ((((((((mustlovepoodles ))))))))

    Quote from aknottedyarn
    For me having support is one of the most important pieces. DH and DD are mine. Both have their own problems but always help when I tell them I need help. There are in person support groups for people with MI. This forum is also a huge help to me.

    When I was diagnosed I hated the label. Now I am glad I can hang a handle on what causes me to be the way I am. I still hate that I have MI, I can feel sorry for myself, if I want to. It is hard work to spend the effort with a psych that is willing to work with you. It is far easier to spend time worrying about pink underwear that has not happened yet. Keep laughing about DH efforts. He really is trying. My DH efforts are sometimes trying to me.

    Finding the right combo of drugs is tricky. Just check out some of the posts from many of us. Hang in there Jan. will be here soon.

    In the mean time- Is DH open to suggestions? Can you use that excess energy to write menus with him? Does he understand, accept your diagnosis?

    Keep coming back here. It helps to connect with the rest of us.
    GREAT feedback

    Quote from NurseExec
    Newly diagnosed, and your psych won't see you until January? You should be being seen every week to two weeks, and getting your meds tweaked based on how you're feeling. Have you considered changing? I personally love psychiatriac ARNPs--I've been with mine for 6 years. It's not necessary to feel crappy with the right care, I think.

    For me, transparency has been really important. My co-workers know I have bipolar disorder, and I'll just flat out tell them I'm having a weird day, when I am. Having someone know about it, not sucking it up, and having someone care about how I feel is important to my stability.

    Also, have you given any thought to taking a leave of absence from work (you have 12 weeks FMLA), and getting into a partial hosptialization program that can help you get some of the "how am I going to live with this" solved. Worked for me a few years ago.

    Working with this disease sucks. I run a 120 bed short term rehab SNF and some days I wish I could just bag it and be disabled. But ultimately, what I am is a nurse, and I would be lost without that, and my job. I expect that eventually, I'll have to find something less stressful, but I'm not living that far in the future...

    If you have any questions, feel free to email me

    Take care.
    You too. how awesome.
    I have just returned to nursing (Sept) after a 5 year hiatus taking care of my illness and finding out what is REALLY important. Lately it is very hard, I get over tired and cranky and I think, WHAT was I THINKING to come back to it! But I love it! And I am just working extry hard to stay healthy. Sounds like you have a lot of experience - good experience - and advice!

    I don't feel all that comfortable being "out" at work. Just really concerned they would not be supportive! So many who just do not understand...


    Thanks!
    Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Dec 15, '08 : Reason: reoved quoted email address
  11. by   mustlovepoodles
    Thank you all for the support. I'm not at all comfortable outting myself at work. I work in a middle school--most of our teachers and parents would not understand or even feel comfortable knowing that the school nurse, while very competent, has a serious mental illness. My admins know, but no one else.

    I have a psychiatrist(I hate even saying that!) who has seen me 3 times since I got out of the hospital in October. Even my psychologist is fed up with my doctor. She has not increased my meds since Nov.3 and really doesn't seem to listen to me. That's why I'm going to see a new pdoc in January. The new doc also has an ARNP with her.

    My hubby would not be unhappy if I took a LOA to get this all under control. I thought that taking 6wks off would be enough, but apparently not. It doesn't help that I had an absolutley awful Thanksgiving to kick off the holiday season. I have put my foot down about going anywhere during Christmas.

    Would it be completely awful if I just quit my job in the middle of the year? I kinda hate to do that, if I ever hope to work as a school nurse again. but truly, I'm just getting through my days.

    If I could have it my way I'd like to be able to stay home
    during the day & spend quality time with my husband so that I could really feel refreshed when my 13yo comes home in the evening. He's a big boy with the mind of a 1yo, so he requires complete assistance. With my fulltime paying job and my fulltime family requirements I'm just spent. I feel like no one is getting the best part of me. And then I just get all undone and want to run away. Thank God for Klonopin. When the going gets too rough I pop 1/2 to 1 and things get better for awhile.

    My hubby has been so good through all this. He has not said one word against me, even when I've been a snot. He has a severe progressive lung disease (stage4 sarcoidosis) and is fully disabled. DH has enough on his plate.

    My family deserves better than this
  12. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from mustlovepoodles
    My family deserves better than this
    AND YOU DO TOO!

    It all sounds so overwhelming! and not just work but hubby and son too, and being the main breadwinner, I am so sorry you are going thru so much...

    As to LOA versus quitting the job, I think LOA is better than ending up inpatient for a month or two! nip it in the bud right now! If you then decide you need to leave the job, you can decide in time. Don't make any quick or rash, desperate decisions if you can help it!

    You will benefit so much from a day treatment program which is basically a re-training in the self-care measures you can take to get and stay healthy! and the counselors/case mgrs. will help make sure you have the resources you need for when you finish it.

    I don't know what your local programs offer, but w/ mine, I had full time treatment during the day, like 9-3, for two weeks; then the next week it was part time. So you could (possibly) take off 2 wks, then work part time the next week, til you were ready to go back full time.

    If you were getting chemotherapy what would be the difference? Sick is sick, need is need, whether it is physical or emotional illness! And, you know what, your taxes did pay for welfare benefits, or even social security if it got that bad - you paid for it! It IS there for those who do need! I have had to take advantage of ALL those things! And of course help (financial, emotional, and time-wise, like caring for your son) from friends and family.

    And bottom line for me is that this is a SPIRITUAL illness - so I hope you have explored that area too. I go to a Baptist church and they gave me once a week pastoral counseling for a couple years that was so so helpful, more so than all the secular counseling I had had for 20 yrs!

    I have to qualify that this is my opinion (this is my belief) but "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philipians 4:13. And yes the Lord does use people and medicines and other treatment tools to help us

    go to http://www.bipolarhappens.com also, and check out her health cards system. You can also subscribe to her newsletter.

    Forgive me if I am at all off-putting but I am sooooo exhausted - just know that I care a great deal about you and anyone else who suffers from mental illness - and have found that God is the best healer of them all!
  13. by   NurseExec
    Take the time off. Be selfish, or self-caring if that suits you better. Get your meds right, so you can be the other things in their time. After I was diagnosed, I took almost a year off to get everything squared away. I'm glad I did. This recent hospitilization (4 years since the last), was much easier to come back from, after having that year.

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