Nurses struggling with mental illness - page 31

I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major... Read More

  1. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from HARRN2b
    Friends,

    It is not just nurses suffering from depression and mental illness. It is our entire American society. I really do not know why. I was discussing this with a friend who is writing a dissertation. We were trying to figure out why so many people are depressed. I am included, myself. I feel mine is somewhat chemical with a touch of sad (even when the weather is warm but it is cloudy). I have read that we are the most depressed people on earth. For the life of me, I have trouble figuring it out!

    I have some THOUGHTS about it - but they are just my own. I think our expectations of 'the good life' are different from our folks'. The media and our general materialism makes us think that "things", the right guy/girl (and dump that person if they end up "wrong"), the right house, money, trips, etc etc etc ...

    Plus there is the decline in our morality, and increased dependence upon ourselves instead of God - well - but since I "know" all these things - why do I still get mentally ill LOL. I do need to say that the last 7 or 8 months have been better and I partly attribute that to my full cooperation with God and having found a good church - and probably a good mix of meds as well, WHO KNOWS!

    Well anyway here is a present for you to cheer up your day -- and (if it's ok) bless you
  2. by   kathi9
    I worked very hard to become a nurse and then left it when my illness (bi-polar, mostly with severe depression) overwhelmed me during my first months of practice. Though I regret letting my license lapse now, I know I could reinstate and try to start again......but I'm scared to try.

    Where I live, jobs are very scarce and Long Term Care is about the only type of nursing for an LPN. I applied at the hospitals, clinics, and such at first but no one wanted a brand new LPN (as most of my classmates discovered) except the nursing homes. I love older people but I felt very chaotic, rushed, overworked, completely stressed out every single day. I could never pass my meds on time. Everyone seemed so, I don't know, so unfeeling and distant to the old people in their care. I felt like my job was just shoving pills into someone's mouth or feeding tube and hurrying out and on to the next one. Everyone I've spoken to tells me this is LTC nursing and you have to be hard or you'll never make it. Is this true? Or is this just my mind taking in information and processing it incorrectly?

    Did I let my illness overwhelm me or is this what other people find when they begin nursing in LTC?
    Peace,
    Kathi9
  3. by   jbhueston
    this helps alot reading this. my mom is in absolute denial of being bipolar, schizophrenic. she thinks having a mental disorder affects her intelligience for some reason. in other words, she cannot be intelligent and have a mental disorder. and then i watch a movie like "a beautiful mind" and it makes me realize that she is wrong. we dont talk about it, the "b" word. she wont take her meds, she has been picked up a couple times now by the police for being a danger to herself.
  4. by   HARRN2b
    Zoe,

    Thank you so much for your blessings. I think we all need them on some days. Life can be demanding and stressful!

    Hugs,

    Holly
  5. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from kathi9
    I worked very hard to become a nurse and then left it when my illness (bi-polar, mostly with severe depression) overwhelmed me during my first months of practice. Though I regret letting my license lapse now, I know I could reinstate and try to start again......but I'm scared to try....

    Did I let my illness overwhelm me or is this what other people find when they begin nursing in LTC?
    Peace,
    Kathi9
    Hi Kathi9

    It must have been so hard for you (and for the poster who said she got sick 5 weeks before graduation) to have had to leave so soon after training! I have been angry, and disappointed, and sad, to have missed probably 6 years total of my 25 years since graduation. So I can only imagine Although I kinda knew even in nursing school that nursing was going to eat a huge hunk of my soul by its very nature (and because of my OWN nature! I knew even then!)>

    Now I pretty much have decided I'm done with nursing. Not even sure if I will be able to WORK! grr...

    Did you "let" your illness overwhelm you? I imagine you would have kept going if you'd been able to! And my counselor is always telling me, if there is any guilt or blame in my thoughts about myself - they are false. He says, "Would you blame yourself for diabetes, or for getting a broken leg?"

    Well, YAH I would! LOLOL! EVERYthing is my fault!

    Anyway - just do all you can today, and let tomorrow take care of itself, for "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Matthew 6:14). In other words, we have plenty enough to think about TODAY! And you are not at fault for where you are at.

    Take care!
  6. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from jbhueston
    this helps alot reading this. my mom is in absolute denial of being bipolar, schizophrenic. she thinks having a mental disorder affects her intelligience for some reason. in other words, she cannot be intelligent and have a mental disorder. and then i watch a movie like "a beautiful mind" and it makes me realize that she is wrong. we dont talk about it, the "b" word. she wont take her meds, she has been picked up a couple times now by the police for being a danger to herself.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{You and Mom}}}}}}}}}}}} Have you ever asked her to watch it with you? That is an AWESOME movie! or, if she likes to read, maybe she would be able to get more out of that.

    There is a book called "An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Johnson, a psychiatrist who has bipolar illness (some pretty bad episodes I must say!) There is NO DOUBT as to the level of her intelligence - and she has learned, despite occasional relapses, how to manage her illness and still maintain her abilities and intelligent. It is an "easy" read in that it captivates you and inspires you

    Try this link, if it doesn't work, just do a search on the title, either online or at your library - good luck! xo


    http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geuopf9c...309%3fv=glance
  7. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from HARRN2b
    Zoe,

    Thank you so much for your blessings. I think we all need them on some days. Life can be demanding and stressful!

    Hugs,

    Holly


    Holly - ha ha, laughing at myself, I just typo'd "Holyy"

    Oh well, anyway - You are so welcome and I agree - we ALL need blessings!

    xo
  8. by   mgalloLPN
    Quote from apaisRN
    Delayed sleep syndrome is a fancy name for lazy . . . no, seriously, it is a real diagnosis where your internal clock wants to shift forward. Left to myself, I stay up later and later and sleep later and later, and can't sleep in sync with the rest of the world. It was disastrous when I was working evenings. For me it's just a matter of staying on top of it, getting to bed at a decent hour and having things I HAVE to go to, like work and class, that keep me getting up before noon. Occasional Ativan for sleep is good too. It's not that I'm a night owl, per se, I don't LIKE being up at night. My brain just wants me to.
    I seriously think my husband could have this. He has a very hard time going to bed before 1 am or sometimes later and he wants to sleep until around 11 or 12. He is in college right now and it is hell on earth trying to get him up. I have to wake up early just to make sure he gets up to go. Also, trying to wake him up on the weekends is hell. How can I find out if this could be what he has? Will a doctor diagnose it? Everyone that he has been too thinks he is crazy. If he does go to bed when I do (about 10) he can't get to sleep for about 2 hours.
  9. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from mindyg22
    I seriously think my husband could have this. He has a very hard time going to bed before 1 am or sometimes later and he wants to sleep until around 11 or 12. He is in college right now and it is hell on earth trying to get him up. I have to wake up early just to make sure he gets up to go. Also, trying to wake him up on the weekends is hell. How can I find out if this could be what he has? Will a doctor diagnose it? Everyone that he has been too thinks he is crazy. If he does go to bed when I do (about 10) he can't get to sleep for about 2 hours.

    I don't know if it is a "diagnosis" but I do know that I do that to a great degree - and that unless I discipline myself, I will stay up later and later (as a previous poster said).

    My ex was horrible like that when he NEEDED to be somewhere, ie work or an appt, pretty soon I just let him suffer the consequences of not getting up because it was so stressful on ME to worry about where HE had to go! So, I don't know what I'm saying... Just that it's a struggle for a lot of people.
  10. by   kathi9
    Zoeboboey :icon_hug:

    Thank you! It helps to know I'm not alone in this.

    Peace,

    Kathi
  11. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from kathi9
    Zoeboboey :icon_hug:

    Thank you! It helps to know I'm not alone in this.

    Peace,

    Kathi

    You're welcome, but I just realized I didn't address your question about long term care. There are LTC places where the staff does seem to care and do a fairly good job, but for the most part staffing is a JOKE (sorry but it can be ridiculous sometimes what people are expected to do - especially the CNA's) - so my answer to overload has always been to work the night shift. That way I can pace myself more, there are fewer interruptions, fewer emergencies, (and no, people do NOT sleep all night! And with just one nurse there is plenty to do ... contrary to day shift's opinion LOL) - anyway - that way I can do a good job, really focus on the patients that need me, and provide some old fashioned care as well (ie I do help the cna's with bells and bed changes when I can) -

    So anyway - I forgot to answer - LTC can be harder for some and easier for others. I LOVE IT because I love my elderly patients

    Take care!
  12. by   kathi9
    I love older people, too. But the stress of long term care was really enormous.....I wish I could make up my mind if I want to go back or not.

    And many thanks again. It's awful to have a mental illness but for some reason..every other job I've applied for since leaving nursing seems to involve the interviewer noticing "blank spots" on my resume (times I couldn't work due to depression) and, wow, do they ever focus upon it. But in nursing, it seemed (as long as it was LTC) they were ready to hire me as soon as I walked in the door.

    Peace,

    Kathi9
  13. by   Angel 3
    Hi everyone, I am soooo glad to find this thread. I have been struggling with mental illnesses my whole life. I didn't know that I even had this problem until after I went off to college the first time. I received my BBA in 02', and now I am finishing up my pre-reqs to get my BSN. I originally went to school the first time to get my nursing degree, but didn't do well in school and had many "issues" that I couldn't cope with on my own. I didn't know what to do, or who to turn to so I tried to hide it. That didn't work. I finished school, and then hit rock bottom. I literally sat in a house by myself for one whole year after school. I had a friend of mine suggest that I go see a therapist. Since then I've been to several different therapists, on many "trial" medications, but I'm still not getting the help I need. I have been mis-diagnosed many times, so I really don't completely know what I have. I do know that I have anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress syndrome, and major depression. Some have told me that I am bipolar, but I've heard so much, that I don't know what to think. I've read up on all of it on the internet, bought books, done just about everything. I was abused my entire life, had no one to turn to and so on...... Now whatever my "illness" is, it's causing problems with my relationship with the one I truely love and will someday soon marry. But I guess I am just trying to figure out what you all do to cope with your illnesses. I am on medication right now, but I just moved to a new city, and I don't have a doctor here yet. Now I have to go through it all over again trying to be diagnosed, get on the right medications, because I'm not right now, and start school August 21st. I'm scared that if they start changing my meds to see which ones work the best, that I might not do good in school. I haven't been in a classroom setting in 4 years, and I do have very bad social anxiety. I know that it's not true, but I feel like there is a big label stuck on my forehead saying I have a mental disorder, and I always feel that I'm being judged or labeled for it. I'm glad to see that there are other people out there strong enough to have control over these mental illnesses and it gives me hope. For a long time I just wanted to GIVE UP completely, but now I know that I am not the only one. Thank all of you for your courage to share your stories, and any suggestions or insight for me would be greatly appreciated. How did you finally find the right meds, doc, therapy, etc? Any advice will help me. Sorry for such a long posting, just needed to get some things off my chest.

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