Confused with Aspergers

Nurses Disabilities

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Please excuse me for letting my thoughts out here, again. :cry: I just feel so much despair and I was just about to recover from my depression...

I have always suspected for a long time that I might have a developmental disorder because I have trouble balancing on one foot and its not on my instincts to do eye contact. However I thought it wasn't such a big deal. I thought I was a well-adapted person because after all I managed to get a BSN and work for more than four years in acute healthcare settings. I even have some patients thanking me which means I'm actually doing something good.

However yesterday as I was attending a personality development class, I came to realize that I might indeed have Aspergers. I've always thought of myself as an empathic person but yesterday I couldn't identify emotions that other people were able to identify so easily from facial expressions and tone of voice. And I thought that is one symptom of Aspergers that I don't have, thus, meaning I can't have Aspergers.

I want help. I brought up Aspergers with my psychiatrist before but she doesn't believe me maybe because I maintained eye-contact with her. Well, duh, after years of nursing, I've learned a thing or two about eye contact. My mother thinks negatively of my future and I bet she will be thinking worse if I am officially diagnosed. I'm starting to think worse too. I think I could return to the nursing profession after my treatment of depression but I am afraid of being thrown out again because I am different from an usual person.

Anyone else with Aspergers here? How are you with nursing?

Specializes in Pediatrics.

Aspergers is a form of autism, and honestly the title Aspergers is going away soon and will just be autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD)

To be diagnosed with autism there are 5 categories that autism affects in ones life that is part of the diagnosis. I would list the DSMV criteria, but I am typing from my phone at the beach, so can't really cut and paste links. But from what I recall with my sons diagnosis is

Social

Cognitive

Developmental, I forget the other 2 areas as he was diagnosed 10 years ago

There are a lot of people who have some symptoms of ASD, but do not have ASD as they are not affected in all areas

There is more to ASD than not being able to read peoples emotions or eye contact.

What is getting diagnosed going to do for you? If you think you have it?

You were able to earn a BSN and work for 4 years so how would you change your nursing practice if you had a diagnosis?

My son is high on the ASD spectrum and I would be thrilled if he is even able to graduate high school.

Missing social ques, like facial expressions and body language, are pretty common with ADHD as well. And don't let the H fool you. Most adults with ADHD are not hyper as far as the common definition goes. More distractable and inattentive.

But if you have coped this long and dealt with school perhaps a diagnosis isn't going to do much? Maybe look at a life coach to learn some new skills?

Whether or not you get an official diagnosis of Asperger's, sit down and think about what you've achieved: BSN, 4 years as a nurse, patients noticing and thanking you for what you've done for them.

Bottom-line: You've a achieved so much. In my humble opinion, don't let your anxiousness about having Asperger's negate your achievements.

When you see your psychiatrist next, mention how to work around your mother's feelings about your future and some of your worries. From your post, I feel like her comments might be affecting you.

Specializes in Post Anesthesia.

I know it is the new trend, but this is a prime example of our overwhelming need to take every individual strength or weakness and turn it into a medical condition. I am not putting down your concern, but what good does applying a label do you, when you have obviously been very sucessful in navigating life up till now. People aren't depressed- they are suffering from the disease of depression!!!-quick, get a pill. People aren't good or less good at interpersonal relations- they are ADHD, or Autism Spectrum, or dyslexia, or any number of disorders that seem to have sprung up in the last 30 years. Are you effective in your career? Are you satisfied with your personal relations (more or less)? Are you having difficulty with daily tasks others around you do without difficulty?- maybe a work-up is warrented, but I will never understand the need to get every facit of my personality "diagnosed" so I know "just what is wrong with me"!??? I would rather spend my energy learning to like myself just the way I am, and seeking others that I like, who like me- not who want to "fix" me.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I know it is the new trend, but this is a prime example of our overwhelming need to take every individual strength or weakness and turn it into a medical condition. I am not putting down your concern, but what good does applying a label do you, when you have obviously been very sucessful in navigating life up till now. People aren't depressed- they are suffering from the disease of depression!!!-quick, get a pill. People aren't good or less good at interpersonal relations- they are ADHD, or Autism Spectrum, or dyslexia, or any number of disorders that seem to have sprung up in the last 30 years. Are you effective in your career? Are you satisfied with your personal relations (more or less)? Are you having difficulty with daily tasks others around you do without difficulty?- maybe a work-up is warrented, but I will never understand the need to get every facit of my personality "diagnosed" so I know "just what is wrong with me"!??? I would rather spend my energy learning to like myself just the way I am, and seeking others that I like, who like me- not who want to "fix" me.

THIS.

Some of those factors that you have listed OP, are prevalent in many mental health traits and disorders; you may or may not have Asperger's; however, it could be poor self image in how you mother has "raised" you to make you recoil from eye contact, not have emotions, and a litany of other things; and amongst them you have succeed in your studies and have functioned appropriately per you assertions of your nursing practice.

Instead of labeling what you have; your focus needs to be in being the best you and working with your psychiatrist in developing better coping mechanisms and ways to handle your depression, and strive to be your best you, regardless of what your mother says.

Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Lack of empathy in autism/Aspergers is a myth. My son has high functioning ASD/Aspergers and meets both the "old" DSM 4 & "new" DSM 5 criteria. He, like many on the spectrum, has more empathy than many neurotypical individuals. The actual diagnostic criteria is lack of social or emotional reciprocity (very different from empathy)

Lack of eye contact is not by itself diagnostic, there are entire cultures that do not maintain eye contact. This alone is not inclusive or exclusive of an autism spectrum diagnosis. Lack of the ability to balance on one foot alone is not diagnostic of a developmental delay (and would resolve by adult hood) it could indicate a variety of other issues from vestibular balance, body habitus, foot/ hip/leg anomalies that would be only determined by orthopedic evaluation.

It's likely your psychiatrist disagreed with your self diagnosis because you don't meet the standardized criteria. What would you gain by an autism spectrum diagnosis? You already said you developed coping skills and social skills (one of the goals of therapy for children on the spectrum). You graduated with a BSN so an IEP or 504 plan is irrelevant. You have successfully worked as an RN for 4 years so vocational rehab is irrelevant v

Specializes in Transitional Nursing.

I have a non-verbal learning disability, and NVLD is very similar in many ways, to asbergers.

It's a visual-spatial perception disability, and I'm starting to learn more about it as it becomes more evident while my classes get harder. I've learned to make up for my weaknesses with my verbal abilities, but certain things are very hard for me.

I don't always understand emotions, and find my self always apologizing and asking if people are mad at me. I can't read a map and have a really hard time reading graphs and charts, but I can remember conversations from 10 years ago that most would have forgotten after they happened.

I bump into things and fall down a lot, and I get lost in a wet paper bag.

All my quirks just make me who I am. I've never let it stop me, and I never will. I just learn to adapt as needed.

I bump into things and fall down a lot, and I get lost in a wet paper bag.

All my quirks just make me who I am. I've never let it stop me, and I never will. I just learn to adapt as needed.

Me too ^ :)

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Trust me, you don't want to be labeled with an "extra" mental health diagnosis if you can avoid it. You have obviously made a success of your life in spite of, or maybe because of your difficulties.....what purpose would be served if you were to be tagged with ASD now? Dealing with depression is hard enough!

Honestly, I think you may be over-thinking things, which is extremely common in depression. Like another poster said, our culture is way too quick to slap a label on what may or may not be a legitimate medical condition and offer pills and potions. The "symptoms" you've described are so vague that your psychiatrist doesn't believe you have ASD.....listen to her, she probably knows what she's talking about.

By the way, being unable to balance on one foot is not diagnostic of autism. Some people are just uncoordinated. I'm always falling over the dog, dropping my keys, bumping into things, barking my shin on the coffee table and so on. My psychiatrist thinks it could be medication-related, but I've been a klutz all my life and only been on meds for the past 2 1/2 years. :wacky:

Thanks everyone for caring. I posted that message in a really down moment. Maybe I had thought that an official diagnosis/label will help people realize that I am having a really huge problem with living and they would cut me some slack. Irregardless of whether I have Asperger's or not, I have or rather had learned to adapt and so people expected things from me. I don't think I could do those things anymore. I don't know why I couldn't...maybe because I am scared of being found out of being different again and being called out for it again and being accused of not caring again and being sad again and being depressed again and then being fired again. I feel like I'll never be good enough for nursing and it hurts and I can't help but to feel this way. I don't why I'm hurting like this. When I was younger, I never succumbed to peer pressure or societal roles. Perhaps it's because of the increasing competition with nursing employment, I was afraid that if I am flawed then I will be thrown away and thrown away I was like a piece of trash. Where was I? ...oh, and I thought having a disorder will make my psychiatrist put in more effort in my care. She just says that I am okay now (with the depression) and ended our supposed to be one hour session in 30 minutes. She might not have diagnosed me with Asperger's but she suggested that I might have acquired some brain damage and you would think that she might want to address that because it might be a big contributing factor to my depression but NO. She run out of things to say. I wanted to ask her more questions but I thought it should be her job to ask questions and start the conversation rolling. I have been therapeutically communicating with myself for years now and I would really appreciate it if the person I am paying to do that in my stead would actually do it. I'm going to say bye for now before I start writing an essay on why I should switch psychiatrists.... :D

I am a BSN as well, and I have an Aspie son with ADHD and I have noticed similarities in myself and him. I, too, think I have Asperger's, for the same reasons as you. The good news though, if you get the official dx, is that it is a protected disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I love nursing, but not the bedside aspect of it. I like putting the pieces of the puzzle together with a patient's care. The worst part about bedside care for me is making small talk with someone. It isn't because I don't care for my patients, I do, it's because I don't know what to say and how to relate to them other than basic conversation pieces like the weather and salutations. That adds to my stress level, but the good part is, nothing else really stresses me out about my job. I like the constant moving and time management. It always comes down to reading social cues from my co-workers, patients' families', my patients, and anyone else in my day. I am still relatively new to nursing, so I am still trying to find my niche after five years in, but I have developed this "canned personality" based on what I have seen and what I have read. It's harder some days than others, and some people say they don't find me assertive enough to care for them effectively. Eventually I think I will find my niche and I am seeking a psychiatrist to test me presently.

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