The best piece of advice I can give you is that your recovery MUST come before all else. It has to be first, before work, before relationships, before friendships...before anything. Because if you don't maintain your recovery, everything else is going to fall through anyway.
If you were reported to the BON and are in an impaired nurses program, follow that program to a T. If you haven't been reported...well, that is your call as to whether you should. I know nurses who have self-reported, and nurses who haven't..and both can make very strong arguments for why they did/didn't.
You don't indicate how long your clean time is...but if you haven't yet sought medical/psychiatric help, consider doing so. You may find it to be beneficial, especially early on in your recovery.
Lots of nurses have overcome addiction to resume their nursing careers. It's not always easy or fast, and they may have had to make changes to where they work or what they do, but it's not impossible. You may have restrictions on where/when you work; if you don't, you may decide to remove yourself from temptation's way...such as that dream job of yours where you fell into trouble with diverting. Don't give up hope that you'll never work as a nurse again.
But IMO, get a solid handle on your recovery before you even think about trying to resume your work career. The best evidence you can give to show you're no longer that "sick" (your emphasis) person is clean time. Words can mean nothing, especially to someone who doesn't understand addiction or to family/friends/employers
who you have burned in the past. But clean time is solid proof.
Get to meetings if you're not already going: NA, SMART, any sort of recovery support group that you are comfortable with. Find a Caduceus group--these are recovery meetings for healthcare professionals. Wherever you decide to go, you'll find that you are not at alone as you think.
Get the book "Unbecomming a Nurse." It has lots of stories about nurses who fell into addiction and what happened to them. Again, your problem is not that unique...nurses are at high-risk for becoming addicts due to stress, easy access to drugs, and the fact that many think, "Oh, I know how this med works, I
won't get addicted to it." Famous last words.
And take it one day at a time. You didn't become an addict overnight; you're not going to get over it overnight. Actually, you'll never get over it: addicts are never recovered, only recovering. You'll have to work every day for the rest of your life to stay in recovery.
Will it get easier? IMO, there's going to be a lot of ups and downs to it. Just always be on guard against relapsing.
Best of luck in your recovery.