I called my worksite monitor this morning to let her know my quater is ending in two weeks. She is the woman from hr who I delt with at the time of my suspension and since I am working in med. records for the time being, she is my worksite monitor. Anyways, she mentioned that she spoke with the nursing supervisor from er (my old job) back in dec and it is possible that they may be able to place me in the cdu after this current position. She didn't say that it is a forsure thing or that it would only happen after my 6 month restriction is up....right now my job is temp and I have been doing it for 3 months but I am not sure they will keep me another 3. But I guess it's good to know I may have a position. I think I will have to make a list of pros and cons thought because while I would actually like cdu vs. being on the floor (now this is dumb I know but) I would be around the er people I worked with. Cdu and er share a break room and they also do shift report together. I wouldn't like going back to 12s and starting work at 6am is crazy. With hprp I don't think you can work before 7a but I would probally just have to request a change in contact. Anyways, I know these reasons are silly and it would just take time to get over it. It's just something to think about. And I still think I might apply for the health dept nurse.
I know most of you would be so greatful to have a job ready for you and I am too so that is why I should proablly just take it IF it is offered to me. I can get over being nervous about seeing old co-workers but the thing that I really don't like is the 12s. I guess I have alot to think about while I have the time now.
Thanks for listening.
Jan 26, '09
I am hoping things work out for you the way they are supposed to! I can relate to not wanting to go back to 12 hr shifts that early in the morning...yuck. But, I got to the point where I am willing to do anything to get a chance to build back trust. You say you are working at the place you got into trouble? Did you get fired, suspended, resign? I am just wondering because I resigned from the hosp. that I got into trouble at. They are affiliated with a lot of the clinics here and I have been wondering if it might be a possibility to go back there in the future. It would be hard to go back and have to face old co-workers (I live in a small town and it seems like every time I go into public I run into someone I used to work with and it is hard to see them) but you have the strength to do it and I believe it would make you even stronger in your recovery!
Jan 28, '09
I think that if you were unemployed, you would realize how "silly" you really are sounding. I really don't think that you know just how lucky you are right now. You screwed up big time and the company is allowing you to continue to work for them. They are not obligated to keep you on as an employee, but they are. So the fact that they are giving you a chance to work, you should be VERY grateful. I hate to sound harsh, but if you want to continue to work there, you have to get over it. Get over the fact that it is a 12 hour shift, get over the fact that you will be running into your old coworkers in the breakroom,, just get over it.
You are soooo lucky to be working right now. Do you have enough money that you don't need to work? Do you realize that if you look for a job somewhere else they probably WILL NOT hire you? Do you REALLY know how hard it is to get a job once you are in recovery and the hiring authority knows it?
Again, I really don't want to sound like I'm being harsh or mean, I just want to give you an honest reality check. It is tough enough to be in recovery, but it is even tougher to get a job in recovery as a nurse.
As a nurse, I had never EVER been turned down for a job until after I was busted and entered the state's monitoring program. THEN, I was turned down for more than TWENTY jobs. My experience is not unique. This happens to most nurses like us.
Jan 28, '09
Thanks easttexasnurse. I did say at the end of my post that I do just need to "get over it" and you being "harsh" (but I did not take it badly) was just another needed kick in the pants. I also told my husband the same thing, that I have these fears but I am greatful to even have a 2nd chance.
Given that I will be offeren the job, and given I will get over my fears with time, I am concerned that 12s will put me back into a depressed and stressed pattern. My only hope is that I can remind myself at the start of every shift that I am a lucky person to have this 2nd chance and that it can't be any worse than working in the er being short staffed daily.
Jan 28, '09
Think of it as a part of your recovery. Try not to let it get you down. Work and do your best, be the BEST nurse they have! From experience, I know that if you bust your butt and try really hard, they WILL take notice. Things will start to look up, they will. It happened for me. After several months of busting my butt, I got a huge raise that I didn't even ask for and eventually moved on to another job, showed them what I was made of, and now I'm looking at taking a management job. The CEO told me to apply, he wants me to be there as managment because I do such a good job.
Anyway, my point is,, reach for the sky. Look at it differently. Prove to yourself and everyone around you that you can do it, and by God's hands you can do it better than everyone else. Make this recovery thing work to your advantage. You MUST do your best to prove that you ARE a wonderful nurse and working on the floor will be a part of your recovery.
Jan 29, '09
Thank you so much. After sleeping on the idea for a few nights I am actually warming up to it (although it's not a for sure thing and I am not faced with it right at the moment). I would be where I am not brand-spankin-new. Management already knows how great of a nurse I was so for them to see me return and work just as hard, I want to really show them. I want to wow them. Most improtantly, I want to be proud of myself. Others might not see what the big deal is, but I will know that this would be huge.
I will run into the nurses I used to party with but since I will be in the dept across the hall, sept from the er, I will not have to work side-by side with them and constantly deal with trying to ignore them when they talk about their party plans or feel left out and mad. It will be a safe distance for me. And my Husband and I have baby plans in the future so thinking ahead, having 4 days off, although not in a row, would be fitting for a mother. This is my chance to work days and be normal. I hated 12s working 6p-6a or 3p-3a but maybe 12s working days will be different for me...I can only hope.
Look what you helped me do....talking all positive and stuff!
Thanks for being so kind. I will keep you posted.
Jan 29, '09
Seee!? ALL things really DO have a silver lining. Something good comes out of everything, even the bad.
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