Nursing Student with a Drug Addiction - page 3

by VanessaLee13 11,964 Views | 60 Comments

Hi guys: I have already asked this question on the Friends/Family of Addicts forum I belong to, so I thought I would get your opinion as well. My husband is a 3 1/2 years clean, recovering addict. His good friend (I'll call him... Read More


  1. 0
    Quote from Trenia
    Unless you have personally been with him while he was doing whatever drug, I think you should stay out of it. You may be 99% sure he has relapsed, but it could just be people blowing smoke.
    He has admitted to doing everything I have said. I am 100% sure he has relapsed. He and my husband are (were) quite close. He was drinking in front of my husband, his girlfriend has found his needles and heroin & has seen him doing pills and drinking, and he has admitted to doing heroin, alcohol and pills on a daily basis.
  2. 1
    I do not know of any nursing school or medical center that you could ever attend/be employed at that one would not have to take a drug test and agree to random testing at the centers discretion. If he is using, he will be found out. If he stays sober, good for him.
    FLArn likes this.
  3. 1
    Quote from SilentfadesRPA
    You wrote - "Now, the F/F of Addicts people mostly just said to let the situation be, and that J would fail out on his own anyways. But I feel as if I should contact the nursing school to let them know (I went to the same nursing school). Because who knows how long it will take him to fail on his own, and how many patients/narcotics he will have contact with, besides the fact that someone else will have to wait another semester to get into the program if he takes the spot."

    My thoughts and response -
    Why wont listen to the experts of F/F? As someones wife who is in recovery I am sure you are familiar with Al-anon and CODA -where the philosophy is "its a family disease" ... here are some slogans right from them

    Do not to create a crisis nor prevent one from happening


    If you're working your own program properly,you won't have time to work someone else's!!

    Stop watering the weeds!!

    Letting go of others
    will lift my own spirit high today.

    A person singing her own praises
    is usually singing solo -- and out of tune.

    How about letting people off the hook today?

    I dont have friends or relationships I have hostages

    I don't have relationships ~
    I have Close Encounters.

    I get lots of messages from God,
    but most are in my own handwriting.

    If you have to talk to more than three people
    about the same problem, you don't want help, you want attention.

    My relationship isn't my problem
    and it isn't my solution.

    "I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex
    ."

    "Let go and let G*d"

    Mind your own business - just what is your business ?

    You seem bent on your agenda and wanting validation. To me your self serving mission has another purpose and I hope you really introspect your motives if your co addiction will allow you to.

    All the best one day at a time and if that isn't enough take it one minute at a time till you get there.

    Marc
    As the wife of a (now recovering) addict, I have learned that I am not a co-dependent. My concern has nothing to do with J and wanting to get him clean, or my gain in this. My only "mission" is to possibly prevent future harm to patients; I do not at all understand how any of this is "self-serving" or what I stand to gain in this. I am not "bent" on an agenda and wanting "validation." I simply have my opinion on what I should do and am trying to find others' opinions to decide if what I think is correct or not. Also, the F/F people are not experts that I talked with, they are simply other friends/family like myself. I apologize for coming to a board to ask for opinions on a difficult situation and apparently pushing some button with you.
    DebblesRN likes this.
  4. 0
    Quote from SkiMama
    I do not know of any nursing school or medical center that you could ever attend/be employed at that one would not have to take a drug test and agree to random testing at the centers discretion. If he is using, he will be found out. If he stays sober, good for him.
    I know, I have been tested at every hospital job I have had. 'Funny' side note...the only job I have *not* been drug tested for was a home health position. How a place who has nurses in patients' homes and driving around on their own does not drug test people is beyond me. Needless to say, that company had many other issues and I did not stick around long.
  5. 0
    Well most if not all nursing schools drug test within 24 hours of orientation. You must go within a specified time and usually their isn't must warning. If they use on a daily basis as they clamin or you suspect it'll show. Thye drug screen for nurses is more in-depth that for many other jobs and nursing students are given this one.
  6. 4
    Quote from VanessaLee13
    As the wife of a (now recovering) addict, I have learned that I am not a co-dependent. My concern has nothing to do with J and wanting to get him clean, or my gain in this. My only "mission" is to possibly prevent future harm to patients; I do not at all understand how any of this is "self-serving" or what I stand to gain in this. I am not "bent" on an agenda and wanting "validation." I simply have my opinion on what I should do and am trying to find others' opinions to decide if what I think is correct or not. Also, the F/F people are not experts that I talked with, they are simply other friends/family like myself. I apologize for coming to a board to ask for opinions on a difficult situation and apparently pushing some button with you.
    I think it just sounds like manufactured drama to most of us b/c we know that you getting involved is going to make ZERO difference. The school can't do anything on your say so, and they are going to drug test him anyway, it is routine. You inserting yourself into this situation helps no one and potentially makes for a lot of conflict that is easily avoidable by minding your own business. Sorry you didn't get the response you were hoping for.
    elkpark, caliotter3, hiddencatRN, and 1 other like this.
  7. 2
    Quote from leslie :-D
    actually, snitching is the least of the problems here.

    i've always been a believer in karma, recognizing that sometimes, being proactive is warranted.
    however, it seems you're focused on wanting to report this person...
    which is why you are seeking advice from here.

    if you do this, i would do so anonymously.
    do not mention you attended the school, but you can share the hx of how you came to know.
    and then drop it...forever.
    you will have done what you sought out to do, and it'll be on the school as to what they do with this info.

    much luck.

    leslie
    I also believe in karma. Anonymously sounds like a good plan. And not even saying his name gives them the opportunity to drug test everyone (since as I said, I don't remember being tested when starting school there, but that could just be my memory failing). And the way J is heading, I want to drop the situation and any involvement as quickly as possible. Thanks for the advice.
    happy2learn and leslie :-D like this.
  8. 0
    Quote from SkiMama
    I do not know of any nursing school or medical center that you could ever attend/be employed at that one would not have to take a drug test and agree to random testing at the centers discretion. If he is using, he will be found out. If he stays sober, good for him.
    I got all the way through nursing school and have had two different jobs post-graduation without ever having taken a drug test.

    I have (thankfully) little to no experience with drug addicts in either my personal or professional life, so I really don't know what advice to give the OP, but just wanted to say that I don't think you can automatically assume that he'll get caught.
  9. 3
    Quote from linearthinker
    I think it just sounds like manufactured drama to most of us b/c we know that you getting involved is going to make ZERO difference. The school can't do anything on your say so, and they are going to drug test him anyway, it is routine. You inserting yourself into this situation helps no one and potentially makes for a lot of conflict that is easily avoidable by minding your own business. Sorry you didn't get the response you were hoping for.
    It is perfectly fine if I get a response opposite of what I originally thought I should do. And this is why I am asking if I should do anything...I don't know if it would make any difference, and I want to see what others think. And once again, I went to the same school and do not remember ever being drug tested, while I do remember being tested at all my other nursing/nursing aide jobs.

    Why are people on this forum so rude sometimes? You don't know me or my motives...why just assume that I am some horrible person trying to get attention? Do people just like being hostile and mean? You can tell me you think I shouldn't contact the school without being so argumentative about it. Sorry for interrupting your day.
    DebblesRN, happy2learn, and leslie :-D like this.
  10. 3
    Quote from VanessaLee13
    He has admitted to doing everything I have said. I am 100% sure he has relapsed. He and my husband are (were) quite close. He was drinking in front of my husband, his girlfriend has found his needles and heroin & has seen him doing pills and drinking, and he has admitted to doing heroin, alcohol and pills on a daily basis.
    He was drinking in front of your husband, big whoop. Even if that is in violation of his probation it's not your problem. His girlfriend found drug paraphernalia and possibly drugs. If she finds the need, she can call the school and ask for a drug test. You sound like a 3rd or even 4th party of all these incidents. That means the story could have changed multiple times from person to person.

    Even if your husband wants to call the school that seems a lot more understandable. You have no reason to be this involved in a man's life as you are if he's just one of your husbands past friends. The school will take care of it if they find any of problem.


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