My name is Kylee, and I love food

Nurses Recovery

Published

Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

I know where my problems come from... I was a preemie and a skinny child, so my family's goal in life was to fatten me up. Given my heritage, we love to eat. Eating is much more than sustaining life.. it's a reason to socialize, celebrate, comfort, etc.

I didn't actually become overweight until I moved out on my own. The place I rented had no fridge, so I couldn't store food. I ate out a lot. Gained weight. Gained more and more.

I thought about and investigated gastric bypass and banding. I turned both away because I really don't want to face a surgery.

I didn't think it would really solve my problems.. it would just give me less to eat. Yes, I'd lose the weight, but I know myself, and I know I would wind up being noncompliant.

I did Weight Watchers and lost 50#. It took a year. Then I got a new job and I fell into the cycle of going out to lunch (because I desperately wanted to fit in at the office) and gained it all back.

I'd love to go back to WW (I am one who needs the human contact). Since work and school keep me busy 60+ hours a week, I try very hard to do my points and not attend the meetings. It's hard. I'm trying. Every day is a battle. I have lost my taste for candy bars, but I still crave the junk food. And I really need to start eating breakfast.

I understand your concerns Kylee. I to lovveee food and have gain an excessive amount of weight over the past 2yrs. I try dieting but once I see that I'm losing weight I eat and then try to justify to myself that it is ok for me to be having the burger at midnight because I haven't had one in 2weeks. I believe I have a "Fat Brain" I heard this quote from a medical show for over weight adults. I dont really know what it means but I refer it to me because my brains are always like let EATTTTTT lol good luck to you kylee let me know how everything is going.

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Kylee,

Like power22 said, she too has a weight problem. Well, I do also. It wasn't always that way. In fact, I too was born underweight and anemic, the smallest of a set of twing. I weighed just a little over 3 pounds at birth. I also grew up a thin person, and even married that way.

People on my mother's side were fat. My mother once wore a size 54 dress, and my grandfather was both a tall and a fat man. So I know I have those genes in me.

However, my problem didn't really start until I was pregnant with my second child. But I managed to lose all the weight I gained, and remained that way for four years. The problem was, during my marriage, my husband didn't allow anyone to eat ice cream, and I always loved it from as far back as I could remember. He said ice cream was sweeter than chocolate, and was his justification for eating the chocolate. I didn't want it, and our children weren't allowed to.

Anyway, the day of our separation, I broke my fast with a pint of butter pecan ice cream. It tasted sooo goood then. I was an emotional wreck back then because my oldest child was taken away by him and offered to his family to raise. At the time, I knew nothing of this, and didn't even know where or how she was, or even if she was still alive. That was when I began to stock up on ice cream. It was 59 cents a half gallon back then, and I bought a half gallon of every kind of the store brand. My youngest daughter ate so much ice cream she got tired of it, and wanted to eat pickles instead. I, on the other hand, continued with my love for it.

I did go to Weight Watchers back then and managed to get down to a size 4. People were asking me if I felt alright. I told them I was feeling very well. But I didn't look well at all. I was beginning to become anorexic, and my stomache even felt good when it was empty.

Then after I graduated nursing school, I had an anaphylactoid reaction to Niacin, and was placed on massive doses of a steroid to get me back to where I could breathe right. I was in and out of the hospital 3 different times that year.

I managed to lose the weight I gained by attending Weight Watchers once again. But then in 2001, I was hospitalized with status asthmaticus, and was again placed on massive doses of the same steroid. That gave me a PE that nearly killed me, but my appetite kept increasing. I gained weight until I weighed 310 pounds.

Then the next year, I went into respiratory failure twice, and had pneumonia 4 times. I was forced to be put on steroids and anti virals and antibiotics back then. That was when I was diagnosed with COPD. Not a happy year.

I continued to be hospitalized at least once a year after that with pneumonia, and was placed on a different steroid that made me do some very funny things that I don't remember doing. That steroid remains my champion, even though any steroid increases your hunger.

I was placed in an assisted living facility that also is a hospice house in 2006. I was so sick just 5 months later, I nearly lost my life once again, but did survive. Now I have currently lost close to 60 pounds, but am not able to exercise very much, but do go downstairs to a meal at least once a day. My secret this time is eating sugar free and low to non fat foods. It has worked very well so far, although just recently, my COPD is acting up again. I have no plans of going anywhere. I was to see my doctor just last Wednesday, and he placed me on a Z pack. I was feeling better that night, but last night the mucus began building up again. I have no appetite, and I don't mind that. I just don't want to have to be hospitalized again.

I did want the bariatric surgery, but didn't by the time health insurance covered it, I had COPD, and no am disqualified. So I live the best I can one day at a time.

I wish you both success in your journeys to weight loss. I know you can do it. Remember, what I call (splendid) Splenda is here now, and it is put in a lot of sweetened foods we buy. In fact, I eat sugar free ice cream or sorbet every single night now, and I don't even feel like I'm on a diet, because in all actuality, I'm not. I just found a way to lose weight without a lot of effort. But I do suggest you do exercise no matter what kind. I used to walk because I loved to. Now I'm mostly in a wheelchair.

So good luck my friends, and keep on keeping on. I am.

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Thanks for sharing your story, Kylee.

I'm another one who is extremely fond of food to the point where it has gotten problematic in my life. Without food, I sometimes would have no reason to awaken in the morning. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I look forward to social gatherings and workplace inservices that offer plenty of free food. Without the food offerings, these little events lack the pleasure for me. My weight has gone up and down several times like a yo-yo.

+ Add a Comment