Giving the license up

[wish_me_luck]

After much thought, I have decided to send my license back. I will call the Executive Director on Monday and my case manager to see about future options, if I were to ever want to get my license back. But, when thinking about sending my license back, I have a weird sense of peace in my heart and body and relief that I won't be spending every dollar I make on drug screens and that I won't have to constantly be contacting the Boards. I think I did achieve my goal. I got my license and in getting my license, I learned such a valuable lesson that has really changed my outlook. I figured out where my interests lie. We need greater service, education, and advocacy when dealing with mental illness. I want to change the world or at least Virginia (and perhaps Tennessee).

Also, I knew I would want to disclose what I have eventually and now, I feel comfortable enough with myself that I can publicly say or type it. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes, I have my days where I am moody, but I am also a beautiful spirit. I am kind, motivated, open minded, and passionate. I deserve to go and fulfill my dreams and be happy in life.

I am thinking that I can start saving my money, go to grad school and get an MPH, do some advocacy and other work I am passionate about, and eventually maybe if I can get the public health experience and get my PhD, I can still one day work for the CDC or NIH/NIMH as an epidemiologist or some other role. There's still a lot of hope for me, maybe just not in nursing. Thanks for your friendships. I might still lurk, but something in my heart tells me just let it go.

[h=1]"If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."--Tupac Shakur[/h]

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

I'm late, as normal. I totally understand being between a rock and hard spot. During my unemployed time(from nursing) spent stocking shelves at minimum wage, I thought I couldn't afford an attorney, and so I considered the drug counselor route which the BON refused(as they controlled everything:)). I found out that many attorneys work with you on their charging schedule, and eventually used a firm where 98% of my case was handled by an LNC. The biggest relief was not having to speak with the board directly anymore, and knowing when I did what to say and what not to say. I don't think I could have done it alone- I know it's possible, but I think it would have taken more time, and more jumping hoops. I am behind you whatever you decide to do, I just hope you get to make an "informed" decision every step of the way- because I care:)

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the kind words. Since it is a "secondary" or "remote state" , I don't even want to spend money on an attorney. I don't make much at all and every bit I make, I spend on UDS and therapy appointments. I know this is odd, and probably not smart (especially for any future privileges in TN), but I want to deal with the Board myself. I want them to hear me, not someone who is representing me.

I am going to pursue writing the Commissioner. Like I said, I want to be heard. I want people to know what is going on. I feel like the more people who know, then maybe something will change for the better. It's discrimination like this that leaves people in fear to disclose their existing diagnosis/get help for a possible mental health issue and possibly get their lives ruined. But, it's the lack of treatment that leaves people a danger to themselves and/or others, not treatment. I will continue to divulge in hopes that I have helped someone...even if it's not so much information, but that support person who understands and I will do my best to help them/get them help. I feel that is part of my duty as a nurse and personal responsibility to my fellow man.

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

Yes, don't think I don't respect your position- I do. I just have LESS guts, and I had a wife without an income to support- behind you either way:)

[Firestarter_RN]

Be careful challenging the BON, they love making Examples. A "Low-Profile" is good advice. A bone to pick can end up being ours! You can help so many in the mental health field with you RN, don't give up!!

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

I have given up on the TN BON--I did get the Commissioner's info, but then I thought "this really isn't worth it. I shouldn't have to jump through all the hoops for mental illness".

If HPMP and the organization "ok" it, then I found a great volunteer opportunity (haven't applied yet, can't until approval) that is probably better than anything TN can give me. I am beginning to believe there are actually better leads in general in VA.

I think God leads us in the direction we are supposed to go....and He isn't fond of me helping in TN, now VA--I can be of use in VA. I am finding out that there are options and sometimes, when one door closes, it's because another door is opening/about to open that is better.

I have found the above circumstance, not once, but at least twice or more. It puts me more at ease and helps me get through the heartaches and "disappointments". I put disappointments in quotes because sometimes they are blessings, but at the time we see them as disappointments.

I don't know if it is having a servant's heart and the change of attitude--becoming happier--that has totally changed my luck or if it is looking at what I have and appreciating it, but I think I am setting myself up for my whole life to change for the better.

If the TN thing is ever meant to be, it will happen. But, it's in God's time. I was told God answers prayers with "yes", "not now", or "I have something better for you".

But, one thing I have to admit, I truly believe God made me a nurse for a reason. All throughout nursing school and all this misery, I used to tell God that if He wanted me to be a nurse, then He will have to help me.

[BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN]

I hope Virginia answers every prayer for your ventures into Mental Health. It is kind of wild our Nation's capital lies against Virginia's borders. I remember a saying that God wants you to bloom where you are, and it seems like you are blooming beautifully.

The most frustrating character of God is that he does things on his time- not ours. Keep on keeping On:)

[Sunshine_7]

Jack,

I have a question about being denied by the board for licensure, due to a criminal background and how to go about reapplying? I hired an attorney, went to a formal hearing & waited 9 months to find out that I was denied. I was told in the letter by the PA BON to reapply after I finished paying off all my fines and my probation ends. I am just about paid off, and my probation will automatically end...I called the board to see what the process would be and they told me to send in another application, and I will have to attend another hearing? Does this sound right to you? I've already went thru this?