Former LVN With Current Felony Charge

My longish journey. Need prayers, supports, words of encouragement, anything to keep my spirit afloat. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Former LVN With Current Felony Charge

My life had been going down the pooper for some time. I had a dissatisfied home life on the brink of edges of infertility and losing our current fost/adopt placement. I was working my butt off to be good - to be the best. I had gastric bypass surgery so I slowly started seeing weight drop off that I had been carrying around nearly my whole life. Suddenly it was obviously that there was more than weight that lie underneath.

I hurt my back on a patient in years past and when I would have flare ups I would run to the doctor and have some Norco prescribed. No big deal. When our foster kids left, I had Norco, no big deal. After my first biological baby was born, he was great and kept me motivated. Until I had that bowel obstruction and I was reintroduced to my friend Norco. I took a little from home, a little from work, whatever would keep me going. When I wanted to have a second baby but had a giant cyst instead, Norco was there for me. When depression got too bad, don't worry. Insomnia from infertility depression? Norco. Trying to stay away during my shift? Norco. It was always Norco.

At some point I finally realized I deserved more. My child deserved more. My dear husband deserved more. And I was better than the hold Norco seemed to have on me. I felt my job that was becoming toxic in many ways, but without realizing it there was a dart board on my head for everyone who had their hands in the cookie jars. I was not the only one, just the only one who wanted a change.

in working with a psychiatrist I did feel confident in getting a home health job. I was doing okay, but the family I work working for was rather questionable. They really liked talking about how others were so misfortunate, which I thought was odd, considering the patient herself was a paraplegic for something stupid she had done. But really, I was the idiot because while recovering myself, I borrowed a medication of hers that I was also taking. I had forgotten my dose for my long 12 hour shift and decided to borrow with the intent on replacing it tomorrow. Unfortunately the nan cam caught me and the police were more than happy to take a report. I was changed with a misdemeanor and I was done - done - done with nursing. I made a stupid mistake, I know it.

I was able to move on in life. I left nursing completely, knowing it was no good for me and I couldn't be around substances any longer. It's been 2 very long years now. After a year of beating myself up I finally felt strong enough to venture into the professional world. What would it have for me? I ended up working for a friend who was a State Farm agent and he knew my background. We were braced for a fight - whether it be letters or classes or what have you. My background check came back as "felony -- pending". WHAT?????

I began to work on this right away. And by getting to work I mean I made every phone call I could, couldn't get through to a single person, so stupidly decided to stop by the court house to clear some things up. They handcuffed me and kept me in the county jail for 46 hours. I am now facing a felony trial in the coming weeks and have no idea what to think. The incident was July 2014, it is now July 2016. In the last 2 years I have:

  • Stopped working.
  • Sought help from psychiatrists and have been on a min amount of anti depressants.
  • Have a personal counselor (called Stephen's Minister)
  • Attend Celebrate Recovery (Like AA/NA in church atmosphere.)
  • Let my nursing license lapse completely
  • Started back to a local community college to get a degree as far away from nursing as I can get and 16 credits short of graduating.
  • Been SOBER and CLEAN for 2+ years!

But this week begins this uphill legal battle and I have no idea what to expect. I haven't been able to fully cry even though my insides are so very broken.

Just a small town girl, a former nurse, trying to find her way through legal processes and come out the other side as someone her kids don't have to be embarrassed for.

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Specializes in Registered Nurse.

When they took the police report two years ago, was there any follow up? I mean you would've had to go to court to face the misdemeanor charge anyway. I'm wondering if you did not go to your court date and had a bench warrant issued for you- that may be why you were held when you went to police station or court house. I'm confused on what happened in that interim two years. Cases don't go away after initial police report is filed. Leaving nursing is a completely separate issue from criminal charges that were filed.

I believe you need an attorney to help you through this. You will find that once you are informed there are probably ways to help you through this. You will be in my prayers. Just know this, you will get through this. I realize that legal fees are expensive but you need an attorney. Look for resources such as legal aid. Call the bar association and see how they can direct you, but research to see what help is available. While I can't really speak to the legal issues, it appears to me that this is your only problem with the law, there may be something that can be done. I think you have covered the problem with diversion of medication as you have left nursing and decided to not be around narcotics. There are many areas in nursing where narcotics are not the norm. I wish you well. I have been making career changes due to health issues and it is not an easy place to be. My heart goes out to you.

Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.

My own story has many parallels with your own. I left nursing for a lot of the same reasons. I got charged and convicted with felonies for benzodiazepine theft. I let my license expire and the BON suspended it. I went back to college, got a second degree, and attempted to restart in another career.

A few years ago I decided to come back, or at least try to come back to nursing. I started completing the requirements, one by one, including getting a psychiatric evaluation, paying fines, signing a monitoring contract, completing continuing education, etc. I recently applied for Reinstatement, and was granted Probation with conditions. I also got my felony convictions and arrests expunged.

I tried everything I could to leave it all behind, but didn't have much success starting over. Had I faced things with the nursing board when they happened, things today would be a great deal less complicated in terms of getting back to active practice. At the time, I thought I'd never return, didn't want to return, had no plans of returning. I had deviated so far from the ideals I had established for myself during the time I practiced, and was so ashamed, that I felt my only option was to leave. So I did.

Back when all this was happening, and I was facing charges, I was petrified. It was very scary. I had a good support system, and just tried to take one day at a time. At the sentencing, I got Probation and suspended sentences that ran concurrently, ordered to go to treatment and receive an evaluation, court costs/fines. After that, I worked my way through the probationary periods and successfully completed both. Once I did that, I worked as a housekeeper for a time. Eventually I went back to college.

What I'm basically saying is that I get where you're at, and you're most certainly not alone. I shared my story, painful as it is even after all these years, to let you know that you aren't the only one. Had I known that, and had I had access to the forum we now post on, perhaps my story would have taken a different turn.

One thing that has helped me through the years with all this, is to take things one day at a time; another is to realize that the emotions I feel are not who I am. They are a part of my experience, but they are not ME. I let them happen, let them pass through. I find that I remain.

Many of us here have made it through similar things to yours and emerged with better lives. So can you.

SunnyPupRN

289 Posts

Specializes in Psych.

Let us all remember that none of us is immune to a crisis that can send our life situation in a direction we never thought could happen. And remember, OP, that you are completely separate from what you *did.* All of us make poor choices at one time or....fifty times...it doesn't mean the lapse in judgment is a black mark on your soul. On the contrary, you write with clarity and personal insight to your situation, not a shred of self pity. Some times it takes a few times to get it right, especially with addiction. As one poster said, minute by minute, day by day, keep breathing through this. People live with convictions, in this case, getting caught may have been a blessing - the bigger picture is that you are two years sober...two years! Hold your chin up! There's a positive in this!

SmilingBluEyes

20,964 Posts

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
My own story has many parallels with your own. I left nursing for a lot of the same reasons. I got charged and convicted with felonies for benzodiazepine theft. I let my license expire and the BON suspended it. I went back to college, got a second degree, and attempted to restart in another career.

A few years ago I decided to come back, or at least try to come back to nursing. I started completing the requirements, one by one, including getting a psychiatric evaluation, paying fines, signing a monitoring contract, completing continuing education, etc. I recently applied for Reinstatement, and was granted Probation with conditions. I also got my felony convictions and arrests expunged.

I tried everything I could to leave it all behind, but didn't have much success starting over. Had I faced things with the nursing board when they happened, things today would be a great deal less complicated in terms of getting back to active practice. At the time, I thought I'd never return, didn't want to return, had no plans of returning. I had deviated so far from the ideals I had established for myself during the time I practiced, and was so ashamed, that I felt my only option was to leave. So I did.

Back when all this was happening, and I was facing charges, I was petrified. It was very scary. I had a good support system, and just tried to take one day at a time. At the sentencing, I got Probation and suspended sentences that ran concurrently, ordered to go to treatment and receive an evaluation, court costs/fines. After that, I worked my way through the probationary periods and successfully completed both. Once I did that, I worked as a housekeeper for a time. Eventually I went back to college.

What I'm basically saying is that I get where you're at, and you're most certainly not alone. I shared my story, painful as it is even after all these years, to let you know that you aren't the only one. Had I known that, and had I had access to the forum we now post on, perhaps my story would have taken a different turn.

One thing that has helped me through the years with all this, is to take things one day at a time; another is to realize that the emotions I feel are not who I am. They are a part of my experience, but they are not ME. I let them happen, let them pass through. I find that I remain.

Many of us here have made it through similar things to yours and emerged with better lives. So can you.

BEAUTIFULLY STATED!!!!!!!!!!! You are well on your way.

I'm hoping for the best possible outcome for you. Like another mentioned, I do think seeing an attorney would be a wise choice.

Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ICU.

When you state you "borrowed" these pills, I'm assuming you meant "borrowed without asking," or perhaps more commonly known as stealing, yes? Your choice of wording there was interesting, to say the least.

A few things struck me as being off about your post and made me question your accountability in this. You are the only problem here, not the medications you've abused, nor the profession you were unfit for. Neither were or are "toxic."

Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.

A few things struck me as being off about your post and made me question your accountability in this. You are the only problem here, not the medications you've abused, nor the profession you were unfit for. Neither were or are "toxic."

Addiction doesn't form in a vacuum. It's an aggregate of biological, psychological, and social factors.

You'll learn more about addiction once you finish your pre-reqs and get into nursing school.

Well we do call nurses stealing drugs, diversion, so it is easy to understand why she would use a different term. Either way, you are very hard on her. And you are no one to tell her she is unfit to practise our profession. I certainly hope you show more compassion to your patients that your are to your colleague.

SunnyPupRN

289 Posts

Specializes in Psych.
Well we do call nurses stealing drugs, diversion, so it is easy to understand why she would use a different term. Either way, you are very hard on her. And you are no one to tell her she is unfit to practise our profession. I certainly hope you show more compassion to your patients that your are to your colleague.[/quote

Yes! You are an excellent role model for new [and seasoned] nurses. Thank you.

Thank you so much, as we age we get softer and it is a good thing.