hang in there. it took me 2 1/2 years to land a job. I finally realized I wasnt going to get a wanted job. I started to apply for those med/surg jobs that had 3-4 openings available. if you look at it from an employers point of view, if they have a choice between a monitored nurse and one who is not, the other choice wins. less hassle and risk. you may have to take that job no one else wants to get your foot in the door. From a spirtual perspective, I had prayed for a job for over a year and was continually hitting brick walls feeling defeated over and over. I realize now that i first felt restarting work as a nurse would somehow erase the shame of all that I done and would have given me a sense of arrival. When I stopped viewing my career as my defining attribute, and started to rely on God, then my path to the job i have now seemed effortless. Its was almost as if when I threw my hands up in defeat and got out of the way, then God started to make things happen. I hope this helps. keep your head up. God created you and he doesnt make junk.