Finally Made It!!!! Now what???

  1. 1 I received a call from my monitoring specialist today from HPRP he said, "Andy, I am calling to tell you, you are offically a free man!" I cannot tell you how awesome I felt, I sat in my pt's room and started crying...I feel proud to have completed this long 4yr journey... anyway, not a few hours later and I realize somehting....I HAVE NOT ACCOUNTABILITY! I can go anywhere, anytime, drink anything and take anything............To be honest I'm a little scared......there have been times when that vial of dilaudid would have never been missed...my addicted brain convinced me I could only use it once................then I remembered I had not called in! Those days are gone now.......bitter sweet, scary, elation......scary.....happy.....scary.......think I'll hit a meeting after work!

    Thanks for listening.
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    Visit  rninmi} profile page

    About rninmi

    From 'Michigan'; Joined Jan '09; Posts: 44; Likes: 54.

    13 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  Heather56} profile page
    0
    best of luck to you minmi, just don't get ahead of yourself, I'm sure you know all the sayings!
  5. Visit  Muttlover} profile page
    0
    minimi,

    Congratulations! the "sayings" saved my life. The one is live by is "hit fast forward" -- when a thought comes to my mind, i'm not responsible for it, but I am responsible for what I do with it. Play out the tape in your mind honestly, realize where that "just once, one more, etc" will take you. Then hit a meeting. Good luck!
  6. Visit  Magsulfate} profile page
    0
    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!

    Second,, yes, you are accountable,,, you are accountable to yourself, to your patients and to your loved ones. You are a free man! BUT, remember, you still have a responsibility to yourself!!! That is the most important of all! It will feel weird not to have to check in every morning,, and you will have nightmares about forgetting to call, then you'll take a sigh of relief and remember that you don't have to anymore

    Congrats! And don't forget, YES, you are still accountable for your recovery my dear
  7. Visit  Tweety} profile page
    0
    Congratulations!!!

    Glad you hit a meeting and that you recognize that his is a vulnerable time. There's a guy in our meetings that did the monitoring program here in FL and the day he was set free went out and drank, shot crystal meth and lit wasn't long before he lost it all and has his licensed permanently revoked and is a waiter at the age of 40.

    We all only have a daily repreive.

    At the same time, feel good about your accomplishment.
  8. Visit  SassyErRn} profile page
    0
    Yeah! What a great feeling that must be. Congrats!
    I am in hprp too. It hasn't been a year yet but I am glad that there is hope!
  9. Visit  rninmi} profile page
    1
    Thanks to everyone...still kinda wierd. Sassy, good luck...the second year was the fastest for me...I had fallen into the routine and actually started looking forward to group on Monday nights!

    Don't push your luck, do EXACTLY what they want, and you will be done soon!

    Thanks agian everyone, I am glad I found this thread.
    BEDPAN76 likes this.
  10. Visit  Rascal1} profile page
    0
    Congratulations to you !! Keep up the great work. We only have today...
  11. Visit  chiefshewho} profile page
    0
    Bittersweet! I am happy for you! Only six months into the program here.
  12. Visit  rninmi} profile page
    0
    Chief.....are you talking about hprp? (don't have to answer that) just curious. How is your program shaping up?
  13. Visit  chiefshewho} profile page
    0
    Ya. My program is in full force. It is working. I can let it get to me if I want but really try not to let it. I am a few months in with a recent lifting of my voluntary surrender of my license. Now I am seeking employment. I am headed in the right direction.
    How are you with being done? I bet 100lbs went off your shoulders!
  14. Visit  rninmi} profile page
    0
    Yeah, more like 1,000 lbs....I just got the official discharge letter.....not gonna lie, I actually started crying when I read it.....It's wierd.....I was at a wedding this weekend......everyone partying, living the life I used to.....its then I realized I don't want that life anymore....I am grateful for the program, good luck, keep me posted on how your job search is going. Any leads? What are your interests?
  15. Visit  Magsulfate} profile page
    1
    Quote from rninmi
    Yeah, more like 1,000 lbs....I just got the official discharge letter.....not gonna lie, I actually started crying when I read it.....It's wierd.....I was at a wedding this weekend......everyone partying, living the life I used to.....its then I realized I don't want that life anymore....I am grateful for the program, good luck, keep me posted on how your job search is going. Any leads? What are your interests?
    This is a good place isn't it?
    Have you ever thought about giving back? Volunteering for your state's peer assistance program? It really is a good way to keep your sobriety in check AND give back to nurses that really need you.
    Mcm79 likes this.


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