Nervous but hopefull

Thank you for the replies...

With an absolute and astounding yes, I was certainly depressed especially during the last 2 years of my nursing education, but I fought with vigor to carry on even though I was acting out in unhealthy damaging ways (which came to a head and have subsided substantially). I have been on medication and have been titrated off now and I do feel 'healthier' which is why I feel that I can now enter in my career with a bit more confidence.

I think if my class mates knew who I really was, they'd be shocked as I was one of those students that everyone thought was 'doing well', since I had the grades and even the support and admiration of my instructors - but I always knew I was different. I thought differntly, I was an older mature student as it was, and I dedicated myself completely until I started burning out. I don't know what happened but I lost a lot of my confidence in my abilities to provide good safe care and even as I review and prepare for entry into my carreer I find myself getting into mildly anxious thinking about what would I do in this case, or would I assess this right or would I catch "x" in time. Will I interact with the physicans in an appopriate way? I need to gain my assertivenss and my love for caring for people back.

As it is, I may have a new grad position since I have just gotten my second reference into recruitment. I know that everyone gets a bit nervous when they embark into their career, i just need to shake off the nerves. The is nothing to say that I won't be a good nurse and all I can do is provide the best care possible. The new grad program is great becuase its 150 hours of mentored orientation, which I will take as much from as possible.

Its nice to know I have support here, since I havven't kept in touch with any of my nursing mates (more out of shame than anything). So thank you.

Really.

Thank you

Just to keep you up to date, I interviewed today for a medical position. The interview was a grueling hour and a half and I had to answer a lot of tough questions. But the result is not only do I get new grad hours with a mentor, but I was also offered FT relief line as the manager said this would a great opportunity for me to consolidate my practice. I am very happy but very nervous.

Essentially what I have to do, especially over the next six months is to fully engulf myself in nursing. By working on my areas of weakness and increasing my knowledge till I get into a place where I can cut down on this extra work, I can and will embody this new transition. This is a huge step!

Thank you for all your support.