Did I do the right thing?

I am kind of late to this, but being just plain stressed out or burned out can cause some of those symptoms. I use the bathroom frequently because I have an overactive bladder. But as I have always said, "Drug test me anytime, I don't care, no way am I going to risk my license for drugs."

Check this out:

http://www.nicd.us/thediseaseconcept.html

One of NUMEROUS articles on variety of topics dealing with addiction from the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
http://www.nicd.us/ALCOHOLISMandADDI...NCYatNICD.html

Keys...you're right to let him concentrate on him. But instead of just "going away", learn what you can about how this is affecting you. Based on your questions, comments, confusion, anger, "hurt" over comments, etc., you have been deeply affected by all of this. I urge you to consider talking with a counselor to learn why you are having these strong feelings. SOMETHING is going on. By focusing on your friend and his disease, you're avoiding the more important issue(s), your issues.

The above paragraph may have caused an emotional, visceral response (and then again, maybe not). More confusion mixed with anger would be expected. If this is so, things need to be looked into if you want to become more capable of dealing with your friend's disease as well as the patients you will face with the disease of addiction.

As for God helping those who help themselves? This is a disease in which the patient is incapable of "helping themselves", especially in the early stages. God provides us with each other for that help.

Jack

Yes, just because people go to the bathroom a lot, people DO think they are on drugs. A sign of substance abuse/addiction in a health care professional is frequent trips to the bathroom. That's where I did most of "dosing", both at home and everywhere else. The fact that you would think UTI before addiction means you lack the knowledge base to conduct an in-depth assessment and differential nursing diagnosis of a patient's presenting symptoms that might make an accurate diagnosis of the cause in a patient who presents with trauma, domestic violence, and any other number of signs associated with substance abuse and addiction. That's not a criticism, it's an honest observation. It also is a good example of what happens in the addict. Just as you aren't aware of your lack of knowledge about specific signs and symptoms of the disease (because like most other nurses, you haven't received appropriate or adequate training about the disease), the addict isn't aware of their inability to recognize their addiction. The difference between a non-addict and an addict in this regard? The non-addict is capable of learning what they don't know...while the addict is actively using and for the first several months of abstinence in early (mostly "forced" recovery) their brain isn't capable of learning from their negative consequences or retain the information about their disease...because of the brain chemistry and structure alterations. And when do we conduct most of the treatment for addicts? In the early stages when they have difficulty learning. And then we're surprised when they relapse? Of course we are, because we lack education about the disease. That lack of education can be excused in the non-health care professional. It is inexcusable in the professional.

Granted, if the schools aren't training their students (and they're not...medical, nursing, or any other discipline), they do have an "excuse". But once they leave school, the responsibility is now the individual clinician's. What do most nurses do when it comes to CEUs? They pick the cheapest method of obtaining the bare minimum number of CEUs, choosing topics they LOVE and ignoring the topics they don't care for or think they don't need. (I don't work in addiction treatment...why do I need to know this stuff?) Because almost a third of hospitalized patients are admitted as a result of substance abuse or addiction (pancreatitis, cirrhosis, heart diseases, GI diseases, infections, etc. can all be a result of SA or CD). Over 50% of all ER admissions at trauma centers are there as a result of SA and CD. So the "average" nurse WILL be dealing with addicts all the time. Couple that with a 10 - 15% addiction rate (depending on the study) in the general population, a 15 - 17% rate in nurses, and a 15 - 20% rate in anesthesia providers, the "average nurse" will work with an impaired colleage more than once in their career.

AND, the disease of addiction doesn't just adversely affect the addict. If affects family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and communities. But most of those dealing with significant repercussions in their own life as a result of someone else's addiction don't recognize it in themselves. It comes out in other ways...usually in physical illnesses as a result of unrelieved stress (irritable bowel, anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, control issues and controlling behaviors, insomnia, relationship dysfunction and failures, abusive relationships...over and over and over, to mention but a few. The non-addicts become addicted to the addict...to controlling or "helping/saving" the addict. Many many health care providers...ESPECIALLY nurses enter the profession as a result of an unhealthy relationship with an addict...usually a parent or sibling. They are going to "help" society. I'm not saying that is EVERY nurse or doctor. But it is a larger number than you would think.

Once you learn as much about how this has affected you and learn healthy ways to deal with that...THEN you will be an effective nurse for your patients with the disease AND your friend. By saying...HE'S the one with the problem, NOT me! You are repeating the mantra repeated by those most affected by the addict (friend, family or colleague). It's what my first wife said more than once when I went through treatment. It's the reason she didn't participate in the family program. It almost cost our daughter her life, because her mother learned nothing from our experience with my addiction. It wasn't HER problem! SHE wasn't sick! So when Kim's disease became active, her mother made all the same mistakes with Kim as she did with me. She's an intelligent nurse who started a couple of successful companies and sold them for serious money. But she still doesn't "get it". Thank God Kim's step-dad knew HE didn't get it and recognized Kim's Mom didn't get it either. It's what saved Kim's life! I'll always bee grateful to him.

Use this time while your friend is in treatment to discover what's going on in you...or not. But if you don't, you'll never be able to wrap your brain around this...and your patients (and any other addicts in your life) will suffer for that. You're not bad...stupid...or a moron. If that's what you get out of all of this.....wow! I'm willing to go to the may with you (or anyone else). But if it becomes clear that you're not really following the suggestions you're getting. That's when I call it quits. We're not even close to that right now.

The ball is in your court.

Jack

Keys - Hello - It's late, and I just wanted to say that I am glad you are there for your friend through all this. I got caught for diversion back in August of 1999. I had gone through a very nasty divorce, and since I had started using on a daily basis, I had alienated so many of my friends and family. I figured that of the ones that knew me well, it wouldn't take long for one of them to realize what I was doing. After I got caught, it was almost like they (esp. fellow nurses) thought it was like I had the plague or something and they would be looked at too, kind of guilt by association.

I had very few friends who stuck by me, I so much hated to tell my dad, that I asked my mom to call him and tell him after we had crossed the line into another parish while on my way to rehab. I was always a daddy's girl, and that was the phone call I never made myself place before I went in.

I am glad you are there for your friend. With everything going on, he may not be in a very good "place" right now. He will be angry, whether it is anger towards himself, to you, to any body. Lord knows I was - and I knew I didn't have the right to be angry to others, it's not like I was set up, anything like that. I was just stupid.

You have given him something he will appreciate, either now or later in recovery - your friendship. Even if he isn't in the plaace to apppreciate it right now, he will.

As an addict, thanks for being there for him. Some friends just don't a lot of times, it is hard living with "us". Like I said, there weren't many there for me then and I hated it going inro rehab with no support systems. He will meet other addicts while in treatment, but I appreciated having one stand by me then.

Anne, RNC

Hello - I am so sorry to hear about your mother's illness and your son. They will be in my thoughts and prayers as will you.

Anne, RNC