Anyone a recovering nurse in Kansas?

This may sound like a silly question, but I am very curious. Is anyone out there a nurse in recovery that has gotten a job in Kansas. I am STILL trying to get hired and I am officially discouraged. I had 4 years sober in March and I finished my KNAP monitoring program in April. I am very surprised how difficult is has been to get hired. I don't know that it is r/t to my past problems, I have been honest and forthright during interviews (maybe too much so- I have been working on my interview techniques), I don't know if its the fact that I am nearing 5 years off the job also. Could it be the lack of current experience? Hell, I have even toyed with the notion that it is my crappy credit problems left over from my hellish and drug addicted marriage!! All I know is that I feel like I am stuck in the mud. I want to cry. I feel soooo disappointed. And like I am letting down the wonderful man in my life that has paid thousands to get me here (even though he didn't even know the addict me, he was brought into my life after a year and a half clean and we have had two beautiful babies together) Of course hes not pressuring me, he believes it will happen when its meant to. But I know that we need my income, and we spent soooo much on UAs and etc.... I don't want to give up and return to waitressing!!!

I don't know why I specifically asked about Kansas, except that I occassionally think we will have to move for me to ever get a job. I doubt that would help really but I think it when I feel really bad after a rejection. I have asked why the person I am talking to went another way, they always say the same thing, someone else was more suited for the position. Once I was told they went with a "interhospital transfer". Shoot, maybe its true. Those that love me say I am too hard on myself and that I need to have faith. But I suck at faith during failure. And today I really feel like a failure.

I guess I am really just venting and looking for support from people who have been there. My loved ones mean well but they haven't been rejected collectively as much as I have been in the past few months. I tried job seeking when I first entered the program with my key restriction in may 08, I was rejected repeatedly for two months until I found I was pg with my son and I gave up and started volunteering to complete my program requirements. Now I have been trying about two months again and that feeling of giving up keeps creeping in. So, any words of wisdom would be encouraged. I would like to ask that negative comments be left off PLEASE. Almost every time I post on here some meanie tells me I am covering, denying or whatever. I already hurt right now, please keep pointless and hateful to yourself. Meaningful criticism is of course always accepted and processed. I am really just whining. Thanks for your time.l