Yesterday, I felt the worst that I've ever felt in a long time. My doc got so frustrated with me and spoke harshly during a case. I've been in the OR 13 years, so I know how surgeons are, but I've always been so good at what I do, as a scrub or circulator. As a surgical assist, I'm struggling so much with the minimally invasive cases. I try to pat myself on the back in that I'm learning two jobs at once, being a provider and a first assist, but the pity sets in and I feel sorry for myself, and I just want to walk away from the surgery part, because I hate not being good at something.The sad thing is that I don't even know what I could do if I don't do surgery, it's all I've ever wanted to do from the time I was a scrub tech.