Why so nasty? - page 3

by Lovely_RN

3,985 Views | 33 Comments

I met my new preceptor today and she didn't make the slightest effort to hide her contempt for me. As soon as she strolled in to take report (late) she rolled her eyes at me and refused to acknowledge my presence. No lie. One or... Read More


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    I say you throw down your clipboard and stethoscope, take out the earrings and say "Look B, you gotta problem with me? We can take this down to the ED if you like"


    Ok probably not a good idea and just my hood background coming out, but seriously is June like Preceptor from heck month? I start my first floor shift in a week and I hope it goes well.
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    It's been a week and I'm ready to request a different preceptor. I really want to make the most out of the orientation and I don't need to be distracted by a lack of professionalism and basic manners. The day after we had our talk wasn't any better than the previous days. I don't need to waste time trying to smooth things over and walk on eggshells when I didn't do anything in the first place. I had another nurse assigned to me on " nurse cranky's"day off and I learned more with her than I did with "cranky" all week long. I think she is deliberately withholding important information from me and I don't trust her; so I hope i'm allowed to switch. If my manager doesn't support me i'm going to HR to transfer. I don't want to work on a unit where someone like her is allowed to torment people who never did anything to her.
    JRP1120, RN likes this.
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    I just want to caution you as there are "politics" involved in the nursing world and as a newbie you may not be thinking about this part of it.

    1. This person that you may think is so awful (and I am not saying she isn't) may be the supervisiors shining star

    2. How likely is it that you will even be eligible for a transfer? Is there even another opening available to transfer to?

    3. What is the chances that HR will look at you as the problem, even if you're really not. After all, you are the new guy.

    4. How long is orientation? Even if unpleasant, it will come to an end. You possibly may be better off just to shut up, learn all you can and count the days until you are off orientation. Nope, this is not fair, but as you know life is not fair.

    Of course you can do what you need to do, but I have seen this kind of thing backfire too many times. Just my $0.02
    Lovely_RN and leslie :-D like this.
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    Quote from Nascar nurse
    I just want to caution you as there are "politics" involved in the nursing world and as a newbie you may not be thinking about this part of it.
    Although the OP is a newbie to this organization, she is not exactly a brand new nurse. She's got several years of nursing experience, had a previous career as a schoolteacher, and has probably seen office politics, favoritism, nepotism, and other things unfold in the working world.
    Lovely_RN likes this.
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    Quote from Lovely_RN
    It's been a week and I'm ready to request a different preceptor. I really want to make the most out of the orientation and I don't need to be distracted by a lack of professionalism and basic manners. The day after we had our talk wasn't any better than the previous days. I don't need to waste time trying to smooth things over and walk on eggshells when I didn't do anything in the first place. I had another nurse assigned to me on " nurse cranky's"day off and I learned more with her than I did with "cranky" all week long. I think she is deliberately withholding important information from me and I don't trust her; so I hope i'm allowed to switch. If my manager doesn't support me i'm going to HR to transfer. I don't want to work on a unit where someone like her is allowed to torment people who never did anything to her.
    I feel bad for you and I am sure that work is hard right now. I transferred to this ICU in November and I certainly know that I was nervous and am grateful that my preceptor was the opposite of what you describe. All I can say is DON'T YOU DARE QUIT! Don't let some pain in the glut run you off! There are a couple of nurses here that have that same kind of attitude. I ignored them. If my preceptor did not want to help me or have me around, I would definately have asked him ***! Not only that I would learn from the others. I was not brand new when I came here either, just new to critical care. I would ask my NM if I could work with somebody else for a while to "see different styles of nursing" since we all have our own that is. Anything but to give up. It sucks now, but one day you will be the preceptor and give another nurse so much better an experience for what you are going through now.
    JRP1120, RN and Lovely_RN like this.
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    I don't know about her getting all nice after a while. I had a preceptor from hell when I came to the hospital I work at now. She acted like I was stupid and I really think it had to do with my original state of origin. Never mind that I came from a sister hospital and had multiple years experience. She precepted another nurse and REALLY gave her a rough time. The new nurse almost lost her position over this cranky old bag. Thank God she retired!!!
    Lovely_RN likes this.
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    I got a new preceptor and things are going so much better. I didn't make a big stink about it. I just asked the nurse who was willing to teach me if she would take me on and she agreed. I didn't offer an explanation and no one asked for one. NM is aware of her behavior (numerous complaints) but it doesn't look like she's going anywhere so I'll leave it at that. NN, "politics" are definitely a factor but I gave it a lot of thought and knew it was necessary. Her rudeness was becoming a huge distraction and her work style is very different from mine. Trust me I wouldn't have taken the chance if it was just a personality clash. What's the point of playing politics if I can't get up to speed under this preceptor? 3 days and I wasn't allowed to listen to report or pick up a single patient. What kind of orientation is that?
    Nascar nurse likes this.
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    Quote from Tait
    I am in a mood to say just call her butt out on it.

    But I also have been following the thread that seems to think my age group is the hellfire and bane of everyone's existence.

    Makes me cranky.
    I agree actually. IDK why anyone would call you names for this opinion/approach. [Sigh] Some people can't be assertive hence they resent everyone who can.

    Tell her, when no one is around to witness it and turn it into a drama, that you feel she is "Uncomfortable with precepting" and that her approach doesn't work well for you. Leave it at that. If the behavior continues............

    To hell with that "oh poor me I'm going to hate the next couple weeks" attitude. Go to the manager and tell her you need a different style preceptor for your remaining orientation days. Make it clear the current one is not working out, but do so in a way that you don't personally attack her.

    Trust me, after you get switched, it will haunt the preceptor you fired. Things like this build a reputation and if a trend is seen, it'll be dealt with (by others of course, not you). This obviously isn't the first time she's had issues. I recall you describing "snickers" and "looks of pity" from the other staff during your first day. Seems the paper trail/reputation is already there.
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    Quote from Lovely_RN
    I got a new preceptor and things are going so much better. I didn't make a big stink about it. I just asked the nurse who was willing to teach me if she would take me on and she agreed. I didn't offer an explanation and no one asked for one. NM is aware of her behavior (numerous complaints) but it doesn't look like she's going anywhere so I'll leave it at that. NN, "politics" are definitely a factor but I gave it a lot of thought and knew it was necessary. Her rudeness was becoming a huge distraction and her work style is very different from mine. Trust me I wouldn't have taken the chance if it was just a personality clash. What's the point of playing politics if I can't get up to speed under this preceptor? 3 days and I wasn't allowed to listen to report or pick up a single patient. What kind of orientation is that?

    I didn't see this.......obviously. Hmmmm..........how to delete an entire post? IDK
    Lovely_RN likes this.
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    Oh girl! I know how you feel!

    When I was a travel nurse, I got this quite a bit. I found that by being assertive, as you were, was the best defense for me. As soon as the precepting nurse figured out that I wasn't some timid doormat, she starting taking me seriously.

    I generally hate to throw the witch card, but if it is clear to me that I have to relegate myself to being the Wicked Witch of the West, I don't mind donning the pointy cap and threatening to take Toto with me. We have a JOB to do. We are there for the PATIENTS, not to stand in line for the hazing of new staff members.

    Kudos to you for taking the upper hand and not letting your preceptor run roughshod over you!
    Lovely_RN likes this.


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