Why so closed minded? WHY?

  1. Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S. One pt. starts going OMG a male nurse! Why do the let guys do this? Dosent he realize we're female!...etc...etc..etc.
    This is absolutely one of the most closed minded attitudes I have the misfortune of dealing with...and it happens time and again. Well it ended up that everytime he had to go into the room i had to go with him. And to his credit he endured the stuff she said to his face !...me on the other hand ..I had to duck outside for a few minutes and unclench my teeth... Why is it acceptable for a woman to see a male doctor, a male pt to been seen by a female doc or to be cared for by a female Nurse/Aide.? and yet not acceptable for a female to receive care from a licensed PROFESSIONAL who happens to be male? GRRR

    P.S. today i was a pt. had seen the NP about the prob before and was made to feel as if she really didnt have enough time to be bothering with me. (not saying that all are like this,Ive heard NP's are wonderful) anyways saw the MD today he TALKED with me and examined me more than she had and actually got some history on me etc. generally treated me like a human. had to get ex-ray etc. the female tech made me feel like i was going through a proccesor...at that point i had already had a bad enough day and didnt need it getting worse. well the guy actually doing the films talked with me held my hand was so gentle and generally it felt like he cared. i felt sorta human again after that ....well we will see what P.T. brings. Tis truly better to give than to receive!
    :chuckle
    Kudos to all you wonderful and caring Nurses AIdes and Techs,no matter how your chromesomes are arranged!:kiss
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  2. 135 Comments

  3. by   biscuit_007
    As a male nurse i have endured this a few times. I must say that as strange as this sounds it never really bothered me that much. I smile give the best care on the whole floor and do my best to open theses closed minds. Many ladies have told me that they prefer a male nurse over a female nurse. I think its just a personal preference. I have noticed the greatest bit of problems i have had are from little old ladies while the younger ladies have much less reservations. My only thought behind this is that many older paople see male nurses as people who could not make it in medical school.(but that is a whole other thread)
    When my mother had surgery recently she repeatedly said that she liked all her male nurses and sides more then the females she had taking care of her. Although I believe she is biased since her husband and only son are nurses, she swears the males that took care of her were much more gentle.
    Now in no way am i implying that males make better nurses then female! My point, no matter how long it takes me to get to it at 4 am, is that it is a personal preference and at the hospital i work at we have informaly found a way to deal with accomidating these preferences. If the patient is civil and makes a polite request to have a different gender nurse then we try to accomidate them. If they rant and rave and are abusive they NEVER get what they want.
  4. by   mark_LD_RN
    THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! i find that people can be very closed minded about this topic.the real shame is that a lot of nurses and docs are the same way. I have always had to work harder to prove myself especially in my area of practice than a female nurse of the same quailifications would have to. i feel it is very unfair,but i will not let it affect my dreams and my love for what i do.

    thanks to people like you who support nurses who happen to be male, things are getting better for us. maybe one day we will be seen as equals.

    i try hard to treat my patients like i would want my wife or family members treated. and once given the chance my patients forget my gender and really appreciate the kindess,gentlness and compassionate care i provide them.as long as my patients need me and like the care i provide i will continue on, i encourage other males to pursue nursing and do it as professionals and not to let anyone or close mindedness stand in their way.


    thanks again to all the nurses here and ones i have worked with for being so supportive.mark
  5. by   Tookie
    Interestng thoughts
    OK where l work we do have a few of our very much older females residents - 80 - 90 + who do NOT like to be cared for by a male.
    this l beleive is a generaltional thing - many of these older ladies would not even have let their spouses seen them naked let alone a strange young man - also cultural differeance may be at play here too. Many countries/women would not let men care for them out of deferance to their religion.
    For a lot of older women - ie even my age group -59's they have trouble accepting a male nurse - again its generational - andnot the 'thing' - l guess the way to overcome it is to be as l have no doubt you are to be professional at alltimes - to explain what you are doing and to allow them to have the choice that if they are uncomfortable - that you will get them another nurse - however it may take a whileas you are on duty because you are competent and the person desinated to their care - often they will come around(particularly if you flirt and try and have a laugh wioth them)

    Contrastingly - we have few males at out place who have had in the past trouble with caring for other males as to ----- and l only quote here
    'I dont want that poofteer near me' (ie if this dosnt make sense - homosexual)
    We have to prtect our males nurse as well as some male residns - not olny older male rsidnst but l would think younger male cleints/pateinet - have little understanding of a male nurse as being equally as caring as a female

    I would also like to state here that l beleive that within our work place male nurses are as accepted as the female nurse by their female counter parts - ---- most of the o,lder females either come around or are willing to wait. - its also lovely to se how much sone of our older ladies really ''''preen themselves and become quite flirtatous ''' when they have some of our male carers/nurse.

    Yes always there we shold accept our cares/nurses for the value of care that they deliveer to the residents/ patient

    take care
    Tookie
  6. by   Tookie
    Interestng thoughts
    OK where l work we do have a few of our very much older females residents - 80 - 90 + who do NOT like to be cared for by a male.
    this l beleive is a generaltional thing - many of these older ladies would not even have let their spouses seen them naked let alone a strange young man - also cultural differeance may be at play here too. Many countries/women would not let men care for them out of deferance to their religion.
    For a lot of older women - ie even my age group -59's they have trouble accepting a male nurse - again its generational - andnot the 'thing' - l guess the way to overcome it is to be as l have no doubt you are to be professional at alltimes - to explain what you are doing and to allow them to have the choice that if they are uncomfortable - that you will get them another nurse - however it may take a whileas you are on duty because you are competent and the person desinated to their care - often they will come around(particularly if you flirt and try and have a laugh wioth them)

    Contrastingly - we have few males at out place who have had in the past trouble with caring for other males as to ----- and l only quote here
    'I dont want that poofteer near me' (ie if this dosnt make sense - homosexual)
    We have to prtect our males nurse as well as some male residns - not olny older male rsidnst but l would think younger male cleints/pateinet - have little understanding of a male nurse as being equally as caring as a female

    I would also like to state here that l beleive that within our work place male nurses are as accepted as the female nurse by their female counter parts - ---- most of the o,lder females either come around or are willing to wait. - its also lovely to se how much sone of our older ladies really ''''preen themselves and become quite flirtatous ''' when they have some of our male carers/nurse.

    Yes always there we shold accept our cares/nurses for the value of care that they deliveer to the residents/ patient

    Take care all nurses
    Tookie
  7. by   Tookie
    My goodness
    - l am sorry that the spelling and typing mistakes may make that hard to read
    am not sure how to go back and edit - l hope you got the gist
    if not let me know
    All in all
    males are in essence equal in nursing as females - however we must all understand - the people we care for may have their pre conceived ideas that we as a profession have to over come
    We havet o understand generational, gender bias and religous differences to be effective nurses
  8. by   Agnus
    When we hear these kinds of remarks and do nothing we are part of the problem.
    When a patient or anyone else makes this kind of comment I let this person know that a man who happens to be a nurse is a professional, and will care for them with dignity. I tell them there is no such thing as a "male nurse". I say, " Men who are nurses have the same eduction I do."
    Mostly people have to be educated, and like it or not we are the only one who can/will do it.

    If the patient made insulting and inappropriate comments as your post suggest (even after my little above talk) then I would let them know they were inappropriate and I would not tollerate any nurse being spoken to or about that way in my presence.

    I have had to defend my collegues and others this way. People do respect it when you tell them straight up and respectfully that you will not tollerate that kind of talk in you presense. BUT you have tho have the courage to say it to them.
    Last edit by Agnus on Jul 26, '02
  9. by   mark_LD_RN
    so true Angus, if wont do it . who will?
  10. by   MollyJ
    Would you have a "paradigm shift" if you discovered that the patient had been sexually abused in their past and having a male caregiver evoked that for them?

    This prejudice may make sense in the patient's world.

    I think patients DO deserve a voice in who will be their caregiver, though staffing realities may limit what a unit can do in response.
  11. by   eltrip
    The abuse issue is the sole reason I can understand for a patient being picky about the gender of the nurse... AS LONG AS the patient is EQUALLY as picky about the gender of the PHYSICIAN!

    Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. I don't understand why some women don't want to have a female OB/GYN (or any other kind of specialist) but are perfectly content to have female nurses providing the hands-on care. I've heard the homosexuality issue bantered about with female patients not wanting female doctors as well...go figure. I understand that there are some generational attitudes out there, but the inconsistencies in the thought processes drive me mad.

    Just my 2 worth.
  12. by   ERNurse752
    The main things I see are older women uncomfortable with "male nurses," and some homophobic men as well.

    I'm not sure how comfortable I would be with a male L/D nurse...but my OBGYN is a female for that reason.

    Would I ask to change nurses? It would depend on the nurse, whether male or female. Let's face it...there's just nothing comfortable about it!

    My dad is a nurse, and he doesn't have the issue come up very often.
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    *sigh* I can't understand why we cannot get past these gender issues. WE ARE PROFESSIONALS! Now, if The patients have a problem, we must do all we can to help them understand the nurse caring for them is just as caring and professional as any female nurse would be. We may or may not sway them. But we SUPPORT our coworker as professional and nurse by doing this. THERE IS NO EXCUSE WHEN STAFF MEMBERS carry the SAME PREJUDICES in their minds and take them to work. It is time to GET over IT!

    I wish we would stronly unite and concentrate on issues that really negatively affect our practices, like job safety issues, better working conditions, staff-patient ratios, security problems, wage increases. There are so many other issues that have much more to do with the future of nursing than gender, age, racial/religious background, etc. of those nurses in our ranks.

    We cannot always do much about what our clients believe and say, but we certainly should know better as professionals ourselves than to little the little things divide us. We have more pressing issues. By the way ALWAYS THERE, LOVE YOUR AVATAR!!!!!!!! it rocks!
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jul 26, '02
  14. by   LasVegasRN
    Well, believe it or not, the close-mindedness is not only gender specific, but to race as well. Recently, I had a home health patient stop me at his front door saying, "I don't allow n-ggers in my home, you have to leave". Ah well. Somethings never die.

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