Why is it MEN seem to get along better in this field than WOMEN??!!! - page 8

Hello this was brought up to me so now I'm sharing it with you all, I had a new R.N. nurse come to me in tears because another R.N. treated and talked to her very badly when she asked her basic... Read More

  1. by   mother/babyRN
    I don't know where you are from Stitchie, but I just don't see the problems you outline...Men don't get along better than women....Or maybe I just seem to get along with everyone and don't notice what you are noticing. Could be growing up with four brothers just makes me accustomed to the male environment..And specific personality types come into play. What might bother some women doesn't bother some men...I haven't run into the difficulty you seem to be describing....As I said before, lucky me...
  2. by   Torachan
    Upset to many people
    Last edit by Torachan on May 14, '04 : Reason: language -
  3. by   StNeotser
    Quote from cheerfuldoer
    bingo! this is just one reason why this woman will never vote for a female president of the united states of america!
    whyever not? i am from the uk and spent most of my school years with a female head of state and female prime minister (margaret thatcher) she did a damn good job. i'm finding far too much female misogyny in the usa.
  4. by   redwinggirlie
    Reading the post, I really don't see a men or women RN problem. She just had a bad day and is comparing to her brother. We are all the same in the RN respect and people will react to our personalities, not our sex for the most part. And , of course, to the care we give. Don't see a problem where I work. As far as "cattiness", well, it goes from floor to floor. I believe it's just talk from how the night is going. We all appreciate each other. That's what it takes. Not our gender.
  5. by   stbernardclub
    When I was in nursing school, there were 3 men in the class of 55. By the second semester, one failed due to cheating and one of them should have been thrown out for vulger sexist remarks.The 3rd guy was a gay engineer who was at the top of the class with grades, but I witnessed him leave a woman on a bed pan sideways because he just could not handle the situation. When I hit the floor in Icu with my first job, another bad experience with male nurses happened. There were 2 male nurses there, both from agencies. One claimed his seat when he came in and never got up unless he had to, he would actually call out orders to other nurses and asst. like he was a king. The other male nurse was getting ready to leave for graduate school, and it was not uncommen to clean up his patients rooms of un- emptied bed pans and bloody gauze.Now as for the female nurses, I was shocked to see so many woman hate each other and want to ruin each other over competetive reasons. i was so shocked, having had been a lab tech for 10 years and have worked with many people, to see how nurses could be with one another. I can probably count on 2 hands how many female nurses I have looked at and thought " now this is a good person who is a great nurse"
    I think what happened is, many go into nursing today for the money,and they sure act like they have.If your a good hearted nurse reading this who is hurt when you see acts of harm towards others at work...God bless you and keep up the good work.Someone will witness your great work and strive to be on your level. sandy
    Last edit by stbernardclub on May 12, '04
  6. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from Torachan
    LPN2Be2004 - hope you learn a sense of humour before you graduate. My post wasn't derogatory, it wasn't sexist, racist, American bashing, elitist, communist or even industrialist (I would love to be an economist). Life is supposed to be fun.. remember when we all used to have fun? On the ward you won't have an ignore button (if you do where can I get one?).

    I think that it was far to harsh that I have been sent to pergutory (sp.) What I think is the funniest about it is the irony. Hmm let me see. Why do men seem to get along better than women? Blocking me from posting to other threads is a bit ... how shall I say??? well I had better not. Denial of Service is a female response. Actually more effective and far more damage than physical abuse... bruises(sorry contusions) heal faster than mental scars. Not saying that I am a blubbering mess right now (I'll cry into my beer later).

    I thought the whole point of this site was to allow nurses (and nurses to be) to exchange idea's, news and views. Guess I didn't read the rule about not mentioning men being able to pee standing up (we can you know. Whats more we can put the seat down as well. We just choose not to)

    O boy am I looking forward to being in a workplace where this attitude reigns.

    Anyhow I am off to surf the web for pictures of pretty women (ha ha ha) I was joking.
    LPN has a wonderful sense of humor. You, my dear, are just not funny.

    May I suggest that try the Student Doctor BB. I think it fits your attitude quite well.

    And since I have been here, no one has ever just been blocked from all other threads than one that they continue to post on. If you cannot post, it is probably because your precious "male superiority" is too advanced to post on our simple BB.

    (you know that you have almost the same style as some premed at SDN that was putting down Nursing - right down to the "Pee standing up" comment)
    Last edit by caroladybelle on May 12, '04
  7. by   Stitchie
    Quote from mother/babyRN
    I don't know where you are from Stitchie, but I just don't see the problems you outline...Men don't get along better than women....Or maybe I just seem to get along with everyone and don't notice what you are noticing. Could be growing up with four brothers just makes me accustomed to the male environment..And specific personality types come into play. What might bother some women doesn't bother some men...I haven't run into the difficulty you seem to be describing....As I said before, lucky me...
    You mean you don't see that your female behavior is a choice, rather than a biological imperitive?

    That's all I'm saying, some women choose to be catty and wreck each other's lives. Why? They know, but I sure as heck don't.

    I don't participate in the toxic environment. I choose more professional behavior.
  8. by   susanna
    Quote from Stitchie
    You mean you don't see that your female behavior is a choice, rather than a biological imperitive?

    That's all I'm saying, some women choose to be catty and wreck each other's lives. Why? They know, but I sure as heck don't.

    I don't participate in the toxic environment. I choose more professional behavior.
    Why? I think I know why.

    Personally, the reason why I'm so interested in this thread is because of this: now that I've come of age, I've realised that I've never gotten personally close to a woman without finding out that she was really catty underneath.
    All of my friends (who range from the ages 19-26) show some sort of harsh cattiness, meaning they like doing something that is very manipulative or cruel or mean, whether it be something just
    a little scathing or disgustingly destructive, to other women.
    The most common catty thing a woman does is talk about another women's misfortune just for the fun/interest of it without the intention of lending a helping hand or giving real advice. This, I think, is very manipulative becasue ir has hurt me the most in the past. When I asked, my friend actually seriously admitted to me that she likes gossping about other people because she likes laughing at their misfortune and thinking how she is not in that situation.

    I've only had a few close scattered guy friends and theyve never seemed manipulative like that to me. But they do seem like they feel powerful by other means than cattiness. Hee hee. I dont how? Is that why u guys watch sports so much?

    At work, I've also generally seen women behave this way; they act one way but underneath, are really destructive.

    Before, I was always know as someone who didnt gossip. Now, I"VE BECOME CATTY from having these friends for so long. I've become obsessed with gossiping and poking at other people on their behalf. It doesnt feel good to do this but it doesnt feel good either to be left out of the circle because then, the cattiness is directed towards you! I know its mean and destructive to a team environment, where you want everyone to suceed and not just yourself.

    Despite what some of you say, I dont believe that if you really like yourself, you can choose to be a respectful, confident person who does not engage in any of these activities. I beleive that because these are my only friends, and because I'm surrounded by this behavior, I cant help wanting to act this way. I mean, what am I supposed to do, just not have friends who are girls? Just stay away from my colleages who are women? This is a collective problem, not individual. It is propogated collectively and then individuals get sucked into the pattern. I beleive its the way women build trust, by being catty together towards others. Anyway, this is how it happens to me.

    This is why I'm looking for collective and generalized answers to how to solve this problem.
  9. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from Stitchie
    You mean you don't see that your female behavior is a choice, rather than a biological imperitive?

    .
    No because i don't see it as a female behavior, i see it as someone's personal behavior that is not limited to one gender.

    Behavior is a choice, but to call something "female behavior" makes it seem like it's only a female's problem.
  10. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Collective and generalized answers won't solve these prolems, because we're not clones.
  11. by   susanna
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    Collective and generalized answers won't solve these prolems, because we're not clones.
    We're not clones but we are very interactive beings and have ways of acting/thinking/doing that are collectively propagated.

    A hero has a thousand faces.

    No man is an island, all to himself.
  12. by   Stitchie
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    No because i don't see it as a female behavior, i see it as someone's personal behavior that is not limited to one gender.

    Behavior is a choice, but to call something "female behavior" makes it seem like it's only a female's problem.
    Well, we are talking about female's vs. male's. And the majority of the posts on this seems to say that 'females are catty, manipulative' etc.

    As far as I'm concerned, I'm a female, I chose my behavior, therefore it is my 'female behavior'.

    It may not work for you, but it works for me.
  13. by   Stitchie
    Quote from susanna
    Why? I think I know why.

    Personally, the reason why I'm so interested in this thread is because of this: now that I've come of age, I've realised that I've never gotten personally close to a woman without finding out that she was really catty underneath.
    All of my friends (who range from the ages 19-26) show some sort of harsh cattiness, meaning they like doing something that is very manipulative or cruel or mean, whether it be something just
    a little scathing or disgustingly destructive, to other women.
    The most common catty thing a woman does is talk about another women's misfortune just for the fun/interest of it without the intention of lending a helping hand or giving real advice. This, I think, is very manipulative becasue ir has hurt me the most in the past. When I asked, my friend actually seriously admitted to me that she likes gossping about other people because she likes laughing at their misfortune and thinking how she is not in that situation.

    I've only had a few close scattered guy friends and theyve never seemed manipulative like that to me. But they do seem like they feel powerful by other means than cattiness. Hee hee. I dont how? Is that why u guys watch sports so much?

    At work, I've also generally seen women behave this way; they act one way but underneath, are really destructive.

    Before, I was always know as someone who didnt gossip. Now, I"VE BECOME CATTY from having these friends for so long. I've become obsessed with gossiping and poking at other people on their behalf. It doesnt feel good to do this but it doesnt feel good either to be left out of the circle because then, the cattiness is directed towards you! I know its mean and destructive to a team environment, where you want everyone to suceed and not just yourself.

    Despite what some of you say, I dont believe that if you really like yourself, you can choose to be a respectful, confident person who does not engage in any of these activities. I beleive that because these are my only friends, and because I'm surrounded by this behavior, I cant help wanting to act this way. I mean, what am I supposed to do, just not have friends who are girls? Just stay away from my colleages who are women? This is a collective problem, not individual. It is propogated collectively and then individuals get sucked into the pattern. I beleive its the way women build trust, by being catty together towards others. Anyway, this is how it happens to me.

    This is why I'm looking for collective and generalized answers to how to solve this problem.
    That is dreadful, and I'm sorry that you haven't found any women to be close with and to trust.

    Your co-workers are doing a disservice to thier professional standing. They have made bad choices in their behavior.

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