Why do we eat our young? - page 6

I'm a float pool nurse at my hospital so I bounce around, a lot. Wherever they need me, I go. So I'm pretty well known around the hospital, favorably, thank goodness. The past few months, I was... Read More

  1. Visit  NurseGuyBri profile page
    1
    I agree. It is a matter of eating young. Leadership doesnt have to be coddling or swaddling, but the phallacy of "i'll do it to you the way it was done to me" is bull. There's no reason for it, and it isn't appropriate. I can lead a nurse with kindness and compassion better than with anger, frustration, and time.
    samadams8 likes this.
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  3. Visit  OCNRN63 profile page
    0
    Quote from NurseGuyBri
    I agree. It is a matter of eating young. Leadership doesnt have to be coddling or swaddling, but the phallacy of "i'll do it to you the way it was done to me" is bull. There's no reason for it, and it isn't appropriate. I can lead a nurse with kindness and compassion better than with anger, frustration, and time.
    If you're referring to GrnTea's post, I don't see any anger or frustration in what she said. Considering she specializes in legal nursing and teaching, I'll wager that background as well as her considerable experience serve her well when she works with students/new nurses.
  4. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    0
    Quote from OCNRN63
    If you're referring to GrnTea's post, I don't see any anger or frustration in what she said. Considering she specializes in legal nursing and teaching, I'll wager that background as well as her considerable experience serve her well when she works with students/new nurses.
    Why does it have to be an either or thing? You can lead with firmness but understanding and compassion. With perhaps a few exceptions here or there, it's doable. Many newer nurses want to learn and are excited about doing so.

    Yes, there are also those that are not really all that motivated, and it is sad that some of them have even entered into nursing practice. Maybe I'm fortunate, however, since most of the newer nurses I have precepted or in some way taught wanted to learn. They wanted to do a good job.

    It's also hard for nursing instructor's to effectively weed out those that really just want a half-decent paycheck--the ones that complain about everything and really aren't motivated to go the extra mile, especially given the limited time for clinical exposure.

    Again, this is why I am all about developing more objective systems for evaluating nurse practice in each particular clinical setting--whether in school or with practice in the real world.

    Also, many people don't understand how to work with an adult learner. Any hint of condescension turns students off or frustrates/sours them. Regardless of how much experience you have, adult learners should be approached with respect from the outset--regardless of whether they have earned it according to your standards or not--that is, until they demonstrate that being respectful is a one-way street. If they take that attitude, there's a good chance they won't be respectful of patients and families either.

    But I don't subscribe to the non-productive attitude that you don't give respect until it's earned. You always offer a respectful approach with people. When the person has demonstrated that they have little respect for you, others, and in all probability, themselves, then there will be a shifts. The shifts, however, do not have to be devoid of humanity simply because they are behaving like butt lumps. Retaliative responses tends to cause things to decay into worse situations.

    Mostly people in nursing just need to learn to work with and accept each other. IMO, that is a huge issue for a number of folks in nursing. As professionals, we are expected to rise above negative situations and people.
  5. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    0
    Quote from GrnTea
    A nurse who is way older'n me told me once, "No one will want to chew on you if you're tough."

    Sometimes that's true, and sometimes it's not. Some folks misunderstand compassion and passionate sensitivity for weakness, when in reality it is not. It can often take a lot more strength to forgive and rise above various behaviors and attitudes than to push back against someone in some way.

    At the same time, I hear what you saying, in that you can't be a Wendy Whiner or Cry Baby Cathy or Super Sensitive Suzy either.

    But the worst to me are the passive-aggressive behaviors seen so often in this field. So counterproductive. Cry or be in someone's face; but what is with the back and forth, underhanded games? Stand up and own your sensitivity or speak about/deal with what's really bothering you, but don't covertly undermine others or circumvent people and end of stabbing them because you don't want to face the consequences of owning your own feelings or motivations. This is part of the nurse toxicity. It goes well beyond eating the young.
  6. Visit  david clark profile page
    0
    I'm a new RN, but I've been nursing fur 14 years. I recently returned to the Hospital after working in the corrections field. Unfortunately, the hospital is the same, but I've noticed an upswing in the amount of "nurses " watching the nurses on the floor who really do patient care, watch and not-pick. Basically, with the salary of one of these "watchers", the administration could put another two techs on the floor, which wound increase patient satisfaction as well as safety. This is part of the reason new nurses burn out so quickly. They're being critiqued by people who have found a way to manipulate other nurses into doing real patient care, so they can collect a salary, and basically stop nursing. These poor newbies, are belittled so that they work harder and harder.. And that's just what the "watchers" need. My advice: do your best to learn your skills, be an expert. Ignore the critiques, it's a game to keep you jumping higher through rings of fire. Most of the nurses who are managing, can't really do patient care, because they have no people skills.. haven't we all noticed this by now? Most managers, are completely inept at people skills!! That's why they stop doing patient care. Remember that, and don't quit. If you also notice, your patients all LOVE you.. It's the other Nurses who are giving you grief.. Think about that.
  7. Visit  LadyFree28 profile page
    0
    Quote from david clark
    I'm a new RN, but I've been nursing fur 14 years. I recently returned to the Hospital after working in the corrections field. Unfortunately, the hospital is the same, but I've noticed an upswing in the amount of "nurses " watching the nurses on the floor who really do patient care, watch and not-pick. Basically, with the salary of one of these "watchers", the administration could put another two techs on the floor, which wound increase patient satisfaction as well as safety. This is part of the reason new nurses burn out so quickly. They're being critiqued by people who have found a way to manipulate other nurses into doing real patient care, so they can collect a salary, and basically stop nursing. These poor newbies, are belittled so that they work harder and harder.. And that's just what the "watchers" need. My advice: do your best to learn your skills, be an expert. Ignore the critiques, it's a game to keep you jumping higher through rings of fire. Most of the nurses who are managing, can't really do patient care, because they have no people skills.. haven't we all noticed this by now? Most managers, are completely inept at people skills!! That's why they stop doing patient care. Remember that, and don't quit. If you also notice, your patients all LOVE you.. It's the other Nurses who are giving you grief.. Think about that.
    I have worked with supervisors who were inept at nursing skills, but were in good with the higher ups...Hence their job security, but insecurity when they saw good nurses as well as new nurses. I agree, do your job the best to your ability, the nurses who care and your pts who care appreciate YOU. Give out some tough love-draw the boundary line of "I'm here to work, I am going to do my best, bottom line" and continue to let your nursing style speak for itself.
  8. Visit  NurseGuyBri profile page
    0
    OCNRN, I was not attempting to imply that GrnTea's post was frustrated or in anger, but that the actions that lead people to believe Nurse's eat their young is real and it is often caused by frustration and carried out in anger. GrnTea's post is very valid, and I do not see any reason why you would "wager" that background and her experience should be compared to anyone else. That goes without comment. I'm not going to discuss the fact that it appears you are very defensive. Not necessary Im just saying that her post is A)true- we dont need to coddle new nurses, but B) referring back to OP that nurses do eat their young. I've seen it. No one is asking to coddle a new nurse, but to guide him or her instead of scaring them out of the profession.


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