Why are nurses such back-stabbers? - page 9

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some... Read More

  1. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from Stopnik
    Well...for one, I never used words like backstabbing gossipy hags. Though I can certainly say that description fits a certain minority of RNs I have worked with.

    Second, I never said ALL doctors are above-board and professional. I do see a qualitative trend about Doctor-Doctor interaction, though and maybe I occassionally see a few snidde comments that are RARELY but SOMETIMES made in public. I'm sure there are one or two docs who breakdown crying in public places, berate one another in front of patients and other fellow professionals, and basically treat work like a cheesy soap opera. Have yet to see that...

    I am part of the solution. I distinguish between work collegues and friends. I keep to myself but am friendly when approached. I read professional journals and attend CE lectures although I am in school. I keep my emotions in check and don't wear them on my sleeve. I stay away from the gossiping classmates and set them straight when they are flat-out wrong. And I certainly don't cry and fight in public. Still waiting to see the med students do that! Though I'm sure there has had to be a public breakdown of teary male doctors somewhere, because, we don't want to generalize....

    In all my years of corporate work I have never seen interpersonal relationships, for the lack of a better word, as crappy as what I have seen between female nurses. A generalization? You bet! Based on my experience, of course, but not factual - because it can't be proven according to the twisted logic on this board. Some days I come home from clinicals downright depressed about the negativity, nastiness, and tear-jerking theatrics I'm subjected to two days per week. Then I work my externship job (with amazing female preceptors I may add) and see that nurisng isn't all like that - you can insulate yourself from that BS if you wish. A lot of starts with someone's attitude.
    You are not a part of the solution when you continue to stereotype.
  2. by   cookie102
    i also have seen sooooooooooo much backstabbing where i work , but how about when the boss is the orchestrator!!!
  3. by   Tweety
    Quote from cookie102
    i also have seen sooooooooooo much backstabbing where i work , but how about when the boss is the orchestrator!!!
    Then it's not a gender problem is it?
  4. by   Tweety
    Quote from West_Coast_Ken
    This is now the second misquote from you regarding what I said.

    I never, ever said this issue is "fact." This is my observation and my opinion and I know you don't like it nor do you agree with it and that is fine. But please do not put words into my posts.

    I think it was another poster that mentioned something about "fact", not you. I'm sorry you've been misquoted and you're certainly entitled to your opinion.

    I'm disappointed that as you've been around the block, only to start nursing school and be surrounded by such people and beginning the profession with such negativity and "drama" as you say. Fortunately that's not the experience of all of us, and hopefully as you've said in the real world the nurses you observe aren't like that.

    My personal opinion is that such problems in nursing is not because nurses are predominantly female . Also, it's not fair to be mistreated by one or two nurses and them come screaming "why are nurses so catty, is it because they are female....let me tell you about this one nurse that stabbed me in the back, why are nurses such backstabbers."
  5. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from ruby vee
    i learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

    i find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. it truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually like nurses, or to like women. it is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. it seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. how sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!
    and it disheartens me that our male colleagues are so quick to pile on, too. people of both genders can be backstabbers; this is not a uniquely female issue.
  6. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from StNeotser
    Agreed.

    If one looks at the world in general, notice how much more aggression is elicited by men. Look at who starts wars. Look at how many more males are in prison than females. Look at women more positively people, please. After all, I'm sure you were all brought up by one.

    This isn't meant to upset the men reading by the way, I'm just trying to restore some balance back to this thread. Some men are bad, so are some women. But the gender stereotyping in this thread is disgusting.
    Excellent point!
  7. by   SuesquatchRN
    I think that we as nurses have a lot of responsibility and very little actual power. If we actually advocate we're viewed as troublemakers, if we don't we're viewed as uncaring.... whenever you have a group of overworked, underpaid, and stressed people personality differences will gain in importance, and butt-covering will often consist of pointing the finger at others.

    I must say, I worked in corporate America for decades at a pretty high level at the last and men are no better at teamwork than women. They're just better at not talking so it lends them the appearance of bing less catty. HAH! Watch parts of a major roll-out of a new computer system crash and burn and see what happens.
  8. by   Sylv
    Quote from Tweety
    Then it's not a gender problem is it?
    why, is the boss male?
  9. by   RN BSN 2009
    Quote from Suesquatch
    I think that we as nurses have a lot of responsibility and very little actual power. If we actually advocate we're viewed as troublemakers, if we don't we're viewed as uncaring.... whenever you have a group of overworked, underpaid, and stressed people personality differences will gain in importance, and butt-covering will often consist of pointing the finger at others.

    I must say, I worked in corporate America for decades at a pretty high level at the last and men are no better at teamwork than women. They're just better at not talking so it lends them the appearance of bing less catty. HAH! Watch parts of a major roll-out of a new computer system crash and burn and see what happens.
    Agreed on the first point, it's important that one finds a balance between uncaring and total advocate
  10. by   Tweety
    Quote from Sylv
    why, is the boss male?
    hehehe.........probably.
  11. by   TNnursejane
    Oh do I relate! I'm in a job now where there are only 5 nurses, 5 radiology techs. I'm one of the 5 nurses. The nurses treat me as if I have a disease. I had heard a rumor that they were trying to set me up for failure. I am only doing my job. I still have lots to learn but I've got the basics of the job down pretty well. I have done nothing to these people but try to be nice. I've heard rumors that they have called me names, etc... I talked with my supervisor (who is useless as a buffer because he is part of their little click) and am going thru the proper channels but I'm not sure it'll make any difference. I only have the fact that I'm doing my job and asking questions when I need help. We are hoping that once one of these nurses who is the ring leader is gone on national guard duty that things may settle down. I like my job so either they are going to have to leave or live with it because I'm not going anywhere! :angryfire Hon! I feel your pain.
  12. by   MsBruiser
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    You are not a part of the solution when you continue to stereotype.

    So far the stereotypes are proving true. Deal with it...
  13. by   Phen
    Its amazing how common backstabbing is no matter which part of the world one practices - be it America, Africa, U.K, - wherever... It seems almost universal & the common factor is that its a "woman thing". Knowing this each one of us can make a conscious effort to avoid the habit and also prevent being affected by keeping conversations to just clinical issues & neutral stuff. It will give others little or nothing to "blah blah blah..." about.

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