What She Couldn't Tell You - page 8

by CountryMomma

14,166 Views | 82 Comments

We've all met this type of mom before. It's 2330, her 8 year old daughter is struggling to breathe, and you know for a fact you saw them two weeks ago for the same thing. You also know for a fact you gave her a prescription for... Read More


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    Countrymomma

    "That woman was my Mother" HUGS and more hugs!! I will repeat what I said earlier Judgment has no place in nursing.
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    I'm so happy I got to see this story. I feel it spoke to me for a reason. I was that mother tonight at the ER. My son had a fever that resulted in an asthma attack. I felt the weight on my shoulders when I talked to the nurses and the doctor. I saw how the doctor tried telling me with a smile, but her voice cut on edge. I knew the nurses and I heard them talking about me, and I felt so ashamed. I did my best to help my son, but like in that story, there's always more to it. I'm glad this was the first thing I saw tonight after coming home with a healthier child. Maybe this experience will help others see from another's point of view and feel also.
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    Quote from squatmunkie_RN
    I'm sorry. I understand everyone has a story to tell. But if this is true she is a poor mother. If you have a kid you put them 1st. By being not calling the police, not reporting all this she is endangering her child. If a woman wants to stay in that sort of relationship, fine. Don't do it to your children then hide behind some "battered woman's syndrome"

    Now everyone you can ream me. Go ahead, but nothing will change my mind.
    As a victim of DV many many years ago....it is stunning how you end up there and how hard it is to get out. I pray that you never find yourself there. The emotional abuse and tearing apart any shred of self respect....they separate you and alienate those important to you. They isolate you and make you believe that you are somehow responsible. I look back at that now and wonder who was that girl....I feel sorry for her. I refer to that time as my previous life for I can't believe that this person in this lifetime ever got into that position.

    Before you pass judgement remember....There but for the grace of God go I.
    Guttercat and poppycat like this.
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    Quote from PinkLady24
    I'm so happy I got to see this story. I feel it spoke to me for a reason. I was that mother tonight at the ER. My son had a fever that resulted in an asthma attack. I felt the weight on my shoulders when I talked to the nurses and the doctor. I saw how the doctor tried telling me with a smile, but her voice cut on edge. I knew the nurses and I heard them talking about me, and I felt so ashamed. I did my best to help my son, but like in that story, there's always more to it. I'm glad this was the first thing I saw tonight after coming home with a healthier child. Maybe this experience will help others see from another's point of view and feel also.
    (((HUGS))) Be safe, and well.
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    From CountryMomma "That woman was my mother." Great story dear. When I was a child, we had neighbors who were both alcoholics with 4 children. The father beat the mother several times. I even saw the inside of their house destroyed, and the outside door torn off their house. Then one day she killed herself by driving into a field, and landed upside down in a stream. My cousin found her.

    Thankfully, we have local resources for women in this situation. However, a nurse who worked at our local medical center was shot to death by her husband as she was walking to her car in the hospital parking lot after getting off the third shift. They had recently separated.
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    Humbling!! Very well written!
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    I have often wondered why some women (I say women because that is my scope of reference) can walk into a room and be attracted to the ONE man that will abuse them. Why some women can go to a millionaire's conference and hookup with the one man that won't buy them a cup of coffee. Abusers are controlling monsters who can imprison you. The question that we often don't ask is why the woman CHOSE them at some point. Why did you have the 3rd, 4th, and 5th child? Why did you leave him and choose another one JUST like him ? There is something wrong with him for his behavior and you for choosing him. Some people do choose the victim role over and over. Some leave and meet a good person and cannot function in a relationship where they aren't mistreated.
    SoldierNurse22 and Spidey's mom like this.
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    No matter what, you get out when there is a child involved. You should get out regardless but you are responsible for yourself. When a child enters the picture, you must leave.

    No excuses.

    I will judge that. As mentioned before by some of us . . we have lived through abuse as children. We aren't coming from some place where we don't know what we are talking about. Get me out of the situation mom or dad. It is up to you. Be my hero.
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    Quote from Conqueror+
    I have often wondered why some women (I say women because that is my scope of reference) can walk into a room and be attracted to the ONE man that will abuse them. Why some women can go to a millionaire's conference and hookup with the one man that won't buy them a cup of coffee.
    That same man showered gifts, then gradually and eventually pulls back-economic abuse and emotional abuse.


    Abusers are controlling monsters who can imprison you.
    And can be pillars of the community, well liked people who one "never thought would" abuse.

    The question that we often don't ask is why the woman CHOSE them at some point. Why did you have the 3rd, 4th, and 5th child?
    See economic abuse (no birth control) and sexual abuse, and emotional abuse.

    Why did you leave him and choose another one JUST like him ?
    Chance are some women repeat and find someone who does abuse again; patten of behavior from enduring abuse; that's why there is a rationale for "battered women syndrome"; It's not called that anymore; however, with the right support and counseling, a woman (or man) can break the cycle; I am a testament to that; I am marrying a man that has the upmost respect support for me and our relationship; has lost a sister to DV; funny how life works out for the better.

    There is something wrong with him for his behavior and you for choosing him.
    Sometimes both behaviors are caused my socio emotional sensitivities; please see my post about the Stanford Experiment; although controversial; I truly believe that people can be driven to do just about anything or accept anything, even the strip search prank calls are a horrid example of complying with someone who one thinks has the "power"...

    Some people do choose the victim role over and over. Some leave and meet a good person and cannot function in a relationship where they aren't mistreated.
    Pretty broad brush here; it's not so black and white...as you see; I have provided examples.

    I also implore people to check out my favorite movie that really snapped me out of my situation; "Gaslight" with Ingrid Bergman; it shows how a "charming" man can attempt to transform a woman by knowing this woman's vulnerabilities; it uses the term "Gaslighting" in the title; basically what emotional abusers love to do to their victims; feel free to wiki the movie and the term.
    ToFNPandBeyond and poppycat like this.
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    I agree that judgment has no place in nursing. Judgment is condemnation.
    poppycat likes this.


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