- 1Jun 22, '12 by ILoveRattiesI took care of a pt who had a daughter who truely was borderline personality disorder. DeLing w/ her was crazy, as those familiar w/ bpd know. The pt was end-stage and the daughter's vehement; furious demands were contrary to the patient's best interests. Anyway, I advocated for the pt and her needs. The daughter was furious. I only cared for the pt once, as the daughter asked that I not care for her mother. The pt's other daughter was very apologetic about her sisters behavior, and begged that her mother not suffer, which I totally agreed with. One day later, the MDs forced the issue and the family made her comfort measures only. She died peacefully shortly thereafter. The crazy daughter saw me as the family wad leaving the hospital and yelled awful things at me. Well, it turns put that she called the DOH, and the hospital is frantic to satisfy the DOH, and I was suspended for 2 days via a phone call from my boss. I was not obnoxious at all, just tried to sort out the truely wrong demands of this woman. The other sister was completely fine with me and appreciated my efforts to help this family understand end-of-life options. I've been through it personally more than once, and have always been thanked by families whom I have helped through that experience. I am angry that I am the hospital's sacrificial lamb to satisfy the DOH complaint. What, if amything, should I do?
- 2,566 Visits
- 5Jun 22, '12 by leslie :-Dthe only thing i would do now, is to journalize/document all your care and conversations w/pt and family members.
this way, if doh wants to question you a year down the road, you will have this documentation for reference.
you could also submit (in writing) your version of the story and have it added to your personnel file.
keep all emotion out of it, only provide the facts.
it's important to continue in believing in yourself and trudge forward.
crap like this happens frequently in nsg, and i'm sorry you're being scapegoated.
- 6Jun 22, '12 by Daisy_08Wow, Do you have a union?
Its is not fair that your manager is not on your side. Last visitor to complain about me to my boss lost visiting privileges.
Hopefully you charted this extensively.
Nothing really to say, but good luck. That is awful.
- 5Jun 22, '12 by suannaIf you called the DOH and complained about a nurse who you claimed did something unsafe or unprofessional while caring for your loved one, you would hope that nurse would be pulled from caring for patients until an investigation could be initiated. I would expect you were suspended WITH PAY. If you suffered any loss from this incident your employer is out of line and grossly unfair-you should be looking for another position. Families make all kinds of claims. I know a nurse who was accused of sexualy assaulting a 80y/o confused little old lady. The family took it to the hilt despite a number of witnesses and documentation that the patient was having delusions for days. Nothing came of it, but the nurse had to endure the process- it is necessary to err on the side of caution even when it seems obvious the complaint is without basis in fact. As long as we care for people, we will be faced with thier excentricities- it's part of the job.
- 1Jun 26, '12 by ILoveRattiesSuanna, too bad you are wrong. The suspension was without pay and there was no investigation, just falling over themselves choosing a disciplinary approach to me. No questions asked, period. The suspicious thing is, is this woman had already talked to my manager while her mother was still alive, my manager spoke to me, and all was well. The woman had snapped on a couple of nurses, and kicked other nurses off her mothers' care. We all knew we were dealing with someone not of sound mind. It wasn't till a week or so after her mother's death that she called the DOH. And insisted on speaking with someone 'high up'. So, I get suspended without pay for 2 days, and every move I make is being watched, families and patients questioned after I care for them, every little bit of documentation being reviewed, pretty much hell. I was the one who tried, gently, to point out to the woman that her requests were inconsistent and not in her mother's best interest. Me 'pushing back' in the face of her furious demands infuriated her more and made me the focus of her craziness. I took care of her mother for eight hours, only. But her diatribe to the DOH painted me to be cruel and dangerous. My place of employment is treating me as though I am very likely cruel and dangerous and that they are doing me a favor not to fire me.
My policy with BPD or NPD people is to avoid them at all costs, because they either use people or abuse them, and leave chaos and confusion in their wake. Unfortunately, I had already started advocating for the patient before it became clear that the daughter's agenda was all about the daughter.
I am contemplating contacting the 'normal' daughter and asking for her support. The one who apologized for her sister and thanked me for trying to help their mother. Unfortunately, the families of BPD/NPD people also have learned not to 'cross' them and try like crazy for peace at any price.
I don't know who I'm more angry with: the crazy, hateful daughter or my employer for totally caving to the DOH. It's like they are all of a sudden looking for a reason to fire me. Work has changed like night and day.
- 1Jun 28, '12 by rschrockThey where looking for a reason to get rid of you. It is the old "change your people or change your people " , that way management keeps rank and file people off balance, keep everyone wondering who is next. I bet others where fired within two weeks of you too.
- 0Jun 29, '12 by GitanoRN Guidefirst of all, i'm sorry that you had to go through this and be as you called it quote "the sacrificial lamb". once again this is a great example of document, document, document, because it will speak volumes of the nursing care that you provided for this pt. on the other hand, it would have been nice if the agreeable daughter would have writing a letter stating her satisfaction with your nursing care. however, it is what it is, this is another lesson learned as i agree with some of the previous posters submitting your version of the events and conversations with the patients relatives, and let it be included your file. wishing you the very best in all of your future endeavors as i send you a hug from across the miles...aloha~