Uncomfortable from Sexual Remarks from Patient - page 2

by tinkywinky 5,906 Views | 31 Comments

I just basically want to vent. I work in a LTC facility as a wound care RN. There is one patient in his 60's with chronic wounds to his legs from PVD. He sits in his electric w/c in his room most of the day and that is where I do... Read More


  1. 14
    Quote from anicwalters
    I hate that others have made crude remarks about you not nipping it in the butt. As a nurse you expect to provide care and compassion and I'm sure you have dealt with difficult patients successfully. I too have recently encountered a situation in which the patient made inappropriate comments. I told other workers and the supervisor and refused to go into this man's room alone. It is not easy to just "nip it in the butt". I tried to laugh it off and the patient even laughed at me and told me I turned all red. I explained that his comment was unexpected and I was embarrassed. I went home in a very unsettled mood.
    Sorry you feel this way. And I said bud not butt.
    I don't let people disrespect me or my coworkers. We take so much crap off people and we shouldn't allow ourselves to be sexually harassed. And since you didn't address it with that patient it bothered you when you went home. If you let this slide then the patient may think it is ok and go even further with the comments or may act upon them. Anywhere else this behavior would not be tolerated so why should we as nurses be ok with being treated this way?

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    Last edit by DoeRN on Jan 27, '13
    NoonieRN, GrnTea, cienurse, and 11 others like this.
  2. 14
    The OP needs to make it clear immediately that remarks like that are inappropriate. The man has no excuse and he indicated that he knew it was wrong because he asked if she would report him. There is no excuse for this behaviour. She needs to have more respect for herslef.She is not someone's plaything.
    sandyfeet, NoonieRN, GrnTea, and 11 others like this.
  3. 10
    When I was new and young I had a run of patients on med surg who had bowel fetishes ( this was before the internet ) They were youngish men and women and would double themselves over in the ER with abdominal pain and get themselves admitted to the floor for a day or two with orders for enema after enema.I remember how I felt the instant I realized my patient was pleasuring himself while I was giving him his 3H's.Today I would not hesitate to hand him the nozzle and tell him "you look like you have this firmly in hand" Back then I was like a deer in the headlights. I have had my share of patients in acute care and residents in LTC masturbate and expose themselves.They like to be in control and the more you react the more they enjoy it. I've cared for drunks who had bottles under their beds in the hospital,IV drug addicts who booted heroin in the bathroom.You can't take it personally-you just have to matter of factly convey to them what is appopriate behavior.I think most of them do that crap just for the shock value.
    In LTC you are in the resident's hm,e but they still have to be respectful.Take this to the team,this kind of resident needs consistency.You can't let them get away with treating even one staff member in this manner.
    GrnTea, cienurse, Not_A_Hat_Person, and 7 others like this.
  4. 3
    Quote from DoeRN

    Sorry you feel this way. And I said bud not butt.
    I don't let people disrespect me or my coworkers. We take so much crap off people and we shouldn't allow ourselves to be sexually harassed. And since you didn't address it with that patient it bothered you when you went home. If you let this slide then the patient may think it is ok and go even further with the comments or may act upon them. Anywhere else this behavior would not be tolerated so why should we as nurses be ok with being treated this way?

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
    We shouldn't!!! I think it bothered me so bad because I didn't know how to address it directly with this patient. This was the first incident I encountered and definitely learned from it. Guess it's time to grow a backbone!!!
    NoonieRN, GrnTea, and anotherone like this.
  5. 10
    I had an A&O patient purposely pee on himself and tell me (19 years old) "Now you have to touch it to clean me up" with a disgusting wink. I handed him some towels and a basin and told him to clean up or sit in it. I've walked out with treatments/meds or whatever when a LTC resident would say lewd comments. "That is inappropriate and I will be back after you can treat me respectfully" and walk out. Worked every time and the comments were stopped. Now if it's someone who is confused it's a different story and you need someone there with you if possible.

    If you wouldn't take it from some random dude on the street, don't take it from your patients/residents.
    GrnTea, cienurse, canoehead, and 7 others like this.
  6. 9
    I would stop the talk at the subtle remarks, but if any patient asks me if they can "ask me a personal question" I say "Nope, I don't answer personal questions, this is about you, not me". Document and go to your supervisor about it. Any further comments and I would simply say "Inappropriate, I am here to do your dressings, so lets limit the talk to that" and redirect the conversation. I would also see if when you need to do treatments on this person that there's always 2 of you.
    GrnTea, cienurse, canoehead, and 6 others like this.
  7. 1
    I would make it very clear that if they made those comments anywhere else I'd call the police and reprot them for lewd/sexual behavior and that this type of behavior and talk will.not be tolerated.....persoind end of story
    GrnTea likes this.
  8. 6
    You should nip it right now before his words turn to actions. From what Ive seen on my floor, I frequently hear female nurses vent and gripe about how uncomfortable it is to deal with a sexual aggressive patient. We had on man with frontotemporal dementia r/t strokes; who always seem to forget that he grabbed several nurses behinds over the past few weeks. First the nurses laughed it off, then they got uncomfortable.
    Then they would ask me to go in with them, I finally said, look, you don't have to deal with this and assert yourself. Patients who make the environment uncomfortable can be told I will come back later once you are calm. If they continue with that behavior then it can be classified as refusal of care ( In NYS) and the nurse doesn't have to provide treatment.
    Just saying, you don't have to put up with this.
    GrnTea, canoehead, Not_A_Hat_Person, and 3 others like this.
  9. 4
    Quote from DizzyLizzyNurse
    I had an A&O patient purposely pee on himself and tell me (19 years old) "Now you have to touch it to clean me up" with a disgusting wink. I handed him some towels and a basin and told him to clean up or sit in it. I've walked out with treatments/meds or whatever when a LTC resident would say lewd comments. "That is inappropriate and I will be back after you can treat me respectfully" and walk out. Worked every time and the comments were stopped. Now if it's someone who is confused it's a different story and you need someone there with you if possible.

    If you wouldn't take it from some random dude on the street, don't take it from your patients/residents.
    WELL DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    cienurse, puppyrunner, sapphire18, and 1 other like this.
  10. 0
    Luckily, my (male) coworker is with me today and will be going in to do his treatment. And this patient is very A&O. In the future, I will take the t-shirt under the scrub top advice, I had just never considered I was giving a peep show when I bent over. I have to endure comments about my chest every so often (a few moths ago a patient had some pajama bottoms missing and looked at me and said "they might be hiding in her bosom!" the CNAs got a big kick out of that and I wanted to melt into the ground) but usually it doesn't get to be too much of a problem. Thanks for the insight.


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