Too UGLY for Nursing? - page 4

I listened to a testimonial in church whereby a relative of a patient told a nurse, "Sorry, you're too ugly to care for my grandmother." Another relative retorted, "I'm sorry, but you are too ugly... Read More

  1. by   madwife2002
    I have heard some things in my long career but this one has to be one that surprises me 'too ugly to nurse'
    So as long as your face is acceptable it doesnt matter if you can actually carry out your job or not.

    Do you think the media is to blame and has a lot to answer for-has anybody ever seen an oversized, plain woman on the TV, Movies or even advertisments in magazines. We are all subjected to happy, pretty slim men and woman. Look at recruitment posters or pages we are all stood in a group smiling and happy-immaculately dressed looking at the camera asking potential RN's to come join us. Come work with us in our excellent facility.

    In reality we are just people who can be large or small, tall or short, plain or beautiful, nasty or kind, in a good mood or a bad mood. Any color, nationality and sex. Oh and wear any kind of scrub that has ever been made.

    We are individuals who do a great job that 3/4 of the world dont want to do.
  2. by   crissrn27
    What the heck kind of church is this? Wouldn't go back there. Stupid family. Poor nurse.
  3. by   mercyteapot
    A church event? What was the name of this event, "What Wouldn't Jesus Do?"
    Last edit by mercyteapot on Dec 5, '07
  4. by   barefootlady
    This story just makes me feel so sad for everyone involved. Perhaps your telling of this incident will reawaken the spirit of kindness in those of us who have read it. Have a blessed day.
  5. by   Diary/Dairy
    What a horrible family - just goes to show you what stereotypes are still out there of nurses.....I had a crass family member suggest that I "fluffed" baseball players at a game this summer......... AS IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just because I am a nurse does not mean that I am an ubersexed bimbo!
  6. by   pengoo2008
    There can't possibly a "too ugly for nursing", especially when we have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to take care of people
    If that was true...most of us would be out of a job!! I know I look *you know what* when I'm at clinical anyway...

    But in all seriousness, that comment was way out of line...hopefully that family will learn to not view people so superficially.
  7. by   EricJRN
    While I agree with the thoughts already expressed in this thread, I can also see how this scenario wouldn't be so far-fetched, especially if the church's members are primarily ethnic minorities. It is well documented that ethnic minorities (particularly African-Americans) often hold a great deal of distrust toward the medical profession, and I believe that their distrust is supported by historical events.

    Any layperson coming into the unfamiliar environment of the hospital will be a little uncertain of his/her surroundings. Since patients and families generally cannot verify our nursing knowledge, they often look at external appearances (hygiene, neatness of the bed, etc) to judge the quality of care. Add to this the long-standing history of cultural issues, and I could see how external appearance could become very important.

    Wrong? Yes. Hard to imagine? Not necessarily.
  8. by   woody62
    Quote from EricEnfermero
    While I agree with the thoughts already expressed in this thread, I can also see how this scenario wouldn't be so far-fetched, especially if the church's members are primarily ethnic minorities. It is well documented that ethnic minorities (particularly African-Americans) often hold a great deal of distrust toward the medical profession, and I believe that their distrust is supported by historical events.

    Any layperson coming into the unfamiliar environment of the hospital will be a little uncertain of his/her surroundings. Since patients and families generally cannot verify our nursing knowledge, they often look at external appearances (hygiene, neatness of the bed, etc) to judge the quality of care. Add to this the long-standing history of cultural issues, and I could see how external appearance could become very important.

    Wrong? Yes. Hard to imagine? Not necessarily.
    My parents and aunts and uncles all judged nurses on how they interacted with them and the level of their knowledge. They never presumed that someone whose skin color or ethnic background, that was different from theirs, as uneducated. And certainly not being judged as being too ugly. There is something very wrong with this church and it's members. I think that if I had heard the remark, I would have stood up and walked out. No one, church member or not, needs to accept such comments and behavior by the other church members. I have a feeling that this 'church' is not a mainstream one.

    Woody
  9. by   *guest*
    I am PRAYING that this story isn't true (no pun intended) .
  10. by   MedSurgeMess
    To me, it kinda sounded like a redneck church--no offense to the OP. The person saying it probably didn't mean a bit of harm, but that's just the group's concensus on comedy subjects. Not an excuse, just a possible explanation
  11. by   tishirajan
    The Bible tells us not to judge others. This family is judging a person by their appearance only. How sad it is that we can no longer feel safe from ridicule and judgment in our own churches. Why do people who are supposedly, such good Christian people, think they have a right to judge a person? I find it offensive and it just shows a lack of morals. Pretty is as pretty does and they just don't do.
  12. by   1TachyRN
    I also hope that they were talking about the nurse's attitude rather than her physical appearance.
    If that's the case, well played for letting the nurse know that she wouldn't be caring for their grandmother.

    In the case that they were talking about her physical appearance, shame on them. And then sharing that as an example of God's love, no less.:angryfire
  13. by   AOx1
    Guess the church doesn't much believe in the Bible. It is pretty clear in 1st Samuel 16:7 what God has to say about the matter "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 [NIV]

    I would say that in order to keep your heart and mind beautiful, stay away from people with ugly attitudes. They are contagious.

    Also, not certain what pretty or ugly has to do with nursing. If you want pretty, hire a model. Sexy? hire a stripper. Competent nursing care? Hire a nurse. The three are not interchangeable, despite the media and the public's lack of understanding.

    I usually try to respond in a manner that brings light to the real issue. I wear an undershirt under my scrubs as my chest is large. I once had a patient say "Wow, your boobs are really big!" I told him his mouth was also, and that as a professional, I would not tolerate such comments. He had nothing further to say about the issue.
    Last edit by AOx1 on Jun 22, '09

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