Things you'd LOVE to say to patients...and get away with it, version 2.0.

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  1. This is a discussion on Things you'd LOVE to say to patients...and get away with it, version 2.0. in Nurse Colleague / Patient Relations, part of General Nursing ... Can we go again? So far this week... 1) "No ma'am, we didn't dismiss you because you had a...

    by Jan 23
    Can we go again?

    So far this week...

    1) "No ma'am, we didn't dismiss you because you had a broken rib and a punctured lung. No, Angelfire didn't talk to your friend on the phone and tell her you could 'just come on in'. No, we didn't 'slam the phone down when you tried to talk'. Three lies, you're out."

    2) "Tell your lawyer to subpoena away. They got the records they requested. Sorry that what was on those records was enough to make them decide they didn't want to deal with you anymore." My favorite bluff, lawyers don't scare me.

    3) "No, having your sister call and plead your case will not make us reconsider dismissing you. Nor will having the other sister do the same. Yes, taking your sister's medicine was a mistake. That mistake lost your your doctor, unfortunately.

    4) "No, we're not taking new patients. No, the waiting list is closed. No, I don't know when, or even if, it will be open again. What're you gonna do? Hmmm, maybe call around? We aren't the only doc in town, dear.

    And finally,

    5) "You're lucky Doc likes you. If he didn't, you'd have been gone long ago. The rest of us can't stand you." These are usually the ones that call or come in several times a week, want everything yesterday, and are generally just a pain in the bum.

    OK, y'all take off!
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    by AngelfireRN Jan 23 2:41 pm
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  3. 3 Comments so far...

  4. Jan 23 by
    "No, you can't see Doc today. You saw him last time and he said if you ever came in again with a list of maladies and complaints, that he wanted nothing to do with you. You're entitled, you're whiny, and you're demanding as all heck. If half of what you claim was really wrong with you, you'd be dead."

    What I said was,

    "No, ma'am, if you're not on his schedule, it won't happen today."

    This woman literally always comes in with a notebook full of "things to discuss". Yet she refuses any testing, right down to a UA. Doc's sick of dealing with her.

    In a way, I almost feel sorry for her, and probably would if she wasn't such a colossal pain.
    Last edit by AngelfireRN on Jan 23
  5. Feb 5 by
    I went through this a couple months ago as a unit secretary.

    "You need to tell your 26 family members that squeeze in your small cramped ICU room 24-7 to knock off their crap." Also, please please PLEASE for the love of GOD do not let that poor 9 month old child crawl around on this filthy floor! The poor thing doesnt have much of an immune system right now and god knows WHAT she can catch!"

    Background: This woman's gajillion family members that it was okay to go out to the ICU waiting room and fight over the TV loud enough for the whole 2nd floor to hear. Also, they let their kidsgo down to the basement unsupervised doing whatever the hell they want. I very nearly got ran down in the hallway by one because he wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to where he was going. *smdh*
    Last edit by Mikey31079 on Feb 5 : Reason: meant to say thought it was okay
  6. Feb 5 by
    Oh man. makes me glad to be at a university. LOL.