Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 87

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   SoundofMusic
    Dude, let me tell you -- you are ONE cranky old man. Yes, we "forgot" your breakfast, and for that, I apologized up and down and sideways, even ran to the basement to personally see to it you got a lunch tray. And how did you reward me? You lit into me about every single injustice done to you at this hospital, including, :HORRORS: having to be "last in line" in the x-ray line because YOU had a sepsis infection.

    I mean -- dude, you are getting out alive. Yes, little things were missed. There was probably a team of 100 or more taking care of you these last 3 weeks. Do you ever wonder that perhaps just everyday human error in a large organization COULD result in a few glitches in your care? Are YOU fricking perfect? You certainly expect everyone else to be.

    The truth is -- you were well taken care of in this hospital. People waited on you at your beck and call, every GD 15 minutes. You have been nothing but nasty to everyone, and now you take the LAST day out on me.

    Well, I hope people like you get what you deserve - whatever that may be. You are nasty and rotten to the core. You see people in service to you and you simply choose to demean them. I hope whereever you're going, that it's not someplace good. You are evil to the core. You live in the greatest country in the world, get what is STILL the greatest healthcare in the world, yet you continue to complain. Ugh. You make me SICK. Your last gripe was having to "wait" 2 additional hours for your private ambulance ride to the rehab place because you choose to be a louse over your bum knee. Seems to me you've got one good leg, so why dont' you use it? You've got enough dilaudid in you to kill a horse, yet you can't even seem to get up to sit on a commode!!

    Goodbye. Good riddance!!!!
  2. by   PrettyPillz
    1. Do I know who you are? Who cares!
    2. You don't understand why you feel so bad? If you'd loose 450 million pounds and quit smoking, and tell your familiy to quit bringing you Taco Bell up here to eat instead of eating what your doctor ordered MIGHT help you out!
    3. (In Texas) Where am I from? Same place as you!
    4. You pay my salary? Well actually I'm paying for your 1 million dollar MEDICARE stay. Says so on my paystub.
    5. NO! your 25 family members can't have anymore pillows, blankets, guest trays, ice cream, yogurt, ice, soap, mouthwash,ect.....Go to Walgreens cheapies!! I'm busy!!
    Last edit by PrettyPillz on Apr 23, '09
  3. by   NurseTrishaH
    1. You are a very healthy person, with sniffles/congestion for 4 hours. TRY SOME OTC meds BEFORE COMING HERE. I know it's free healthcare for you, but you are milking the system and taking up appoinment slots for actual sick people.
    2. Come on time for your appointment. I have heard all the excuses, and none of them work on me.
    3. Why, oh Why are you bringing your 3 young boys to your Pap? Do you not understand what will happen here? I am not your babysitter, I'm a nurse that is going to be assissting the doc.
    4. I don't care if your husband is a Tech Sergeant. Mine outranks yours, and since I'm civilian, I don't care about rank anyway. Nice try.
  4. by   PrettyPillz
    Quote from SoundofMusic
    Dude, let me tell you -- you are ONE cranky old man. Yes, we "forgot" your breakfast, and for that, I apologized up and down and sideways, even ran to the basement to personally see to it you got a lunch tray. And how did you reward me? You lit into me about every single injustice done to you at this hospital, including, :HORRORS: having to be "last in line" in the x-ray line because YOU had a sepsis infection.

    I mean -- dude, you are getting out alive. Yes, little things were missed. There was probably a team of 100 or more taking care of you these last 3 weeks. Do you ever wonder that perhaps just everyday human error in a large organization COULD result in a few glitches in your care? Are YOU fricking perfect? You certainly expect everyone else to be.

    The truth is -- you were well taken care of in this hospital. People waited on you at your beck and call, every GD 15 minutes. You have been nothing but nasty to everyone, and now you take the LAST day out on me.

    Well, I hope people like you get what you deserve - whatever that may be. You are nasty and rotten to the core. You see people in service to you and you simply choose to demean them. I hope whereever you're going, that it's not someplace good. You are evil to the core. You live in the greatest country in the world, get what is STILL the greatest healthcare in the world, yet you continue to complain. Ugh. You make me SICK. Your last gripe was having to "wait" 2 additional hours for your private ambulance ride to the rehab place because you choose to be a louse over your bum knee. Seems to me you've got one good leg, so why dont' you use it? You've got enough dilaudid in you to kill a horse, yet you can't even seem to get up to sit on a commode!!

    Goodbye. Good riddance!!!!
    ......May this mean old man ROT in nursing HELL!! LMAO!!!!!
  5. by   yetanotheramanda
    1. Wow. those pretty pink sheets you brought to put on your bed are real nice...did I mention that a 500 lb incontonent man was in this bed yesterday?

    2. You are a healthy 30 y.o. man in the hospital for an appy in the morning. You DO NOT need your mommy to spend the night with you and call us every 5 minutes to tell us you went "pee pee." Grow a set.

    3. No, the blood pressure cuff is NOT cutting your arm off. If you would hold still it will start deflating momentarily. If you keep waving your arm around I can assure you that it will keep inflating.

    4. I'm very sorry that you left your "butt wiper stick" at home. No, I will not wipe for you. I would, however, be more than happy to fashion a new "butt wiper stick" for you.

    5. I'm sorry I did not bring your diet coke quickly enough. Did you hear them calling CODE BLUE ROOM 308? Well, since you are in room 309 you might imagine that I was needed next door for just a few minutes. Oh, by the way, your neighbor died. Here's your warm diet coke.
  6. by   Fiona59
    Uhm, compassionate care with a dnr bracelet means your Dad is dying. Our kitchen has a set menu, if you want him to have creme brulee please bring it in.

    Yes, I know he hasn't eaten in 48 hours, it's because he's dying. His body is shutting down. No, HDC is not an IV, no it will not bring his kidneys back to life. It will just make his death more comfortable.

    Yes, I know he is "riddled with cancer" and yes, turning him is painful. That's why he's got morphine q4h with a similar dose q1h. Oh, you don't want him to have morphine because you don't want him too groggy to talk to you and you don't want the morphine to cause respiratory depression.

    For heavens sake, we just want him to have a comfortable, compassionate death, which we could manage if your daughter the nursing assistant would just stop telling you not to let us give the morphine because "we are trying to speed up his death"
  7. by   getoverit
    We had a patient who was bowel-obsessed and he happened to have a hemhorroid. He kept asking everyone who came in his room to do something about it (I reduced it later)...but one of the guys I work with said
    "Sir, your mouth is connected to your guts through your stomach, so if you'll just pull on your tongue it'll suck that hemhorroid back up inside you." He asked me if it was true and I told him I wasn't his doctor and encouraged him to ask the surgeon when he came in for rounds.
    he did ask the surgeon later that day....I said "hey, you went to medical school, maybe you know something the rest of us don't".
  8. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from getoverit
    "sir, your mouth is connected to your guts through your stomach, so if you'll just pull on your tongue it'll suck that hemhorroid back up inside you."
    reminds me of a conversation with a woman who was six (or so) weeks pregnant when i was a student nurse. someone had told her just how tiny the baby was then and she asked me whether the baby might "escape through her belly button place..." i was a good girl and said no, but i soooo wanted to tell her
    "yes, but if you pack your 'belly button place' full of dryer lint, then put tape over it, there was next to chance the baby would go awol." :d

    sharpeimom
  9. by   steve40
    How about.........I really don't care if you take these pills or not....I am a nurse and am directed to follow the doctor's orders, but if it was me I probably wouldn't take them either because I hate pills.
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from steve40
    how about.........i really don't care if you take these pills or not....i am a nurse and am directed to follow the doctor's orders, but if it was me i probably wouldn't take them either because i hate pills.
    or, "i really don't care whether or not you take your damned pills. do it or don't, but let's be quick about it because i have 8 more patients to see before i can pee."

    "no, sir. i can completely understand why you don't want to do your incentive spirometry. yes, sir. it does suck. literally. and i'm tired of trying to talk you into doing it. after all, it's your health, not mine. "

    "ok, sir. i absolutely understand that you don't want me bothering you every hour to cough and deep breath, use your incentive spirometer, check your glucose, put your oxygen back on or turn you on your other side. but if i went away and left you alone as you desire, you'd get pneumonia, be reintubated, become hypo (or hyperglycemic) and develop a bedsore. but hey, i understand that it's your body and you don't care. so why should i?"

    "i get that you don't want to walk. surgery hurts. i know that. but trying to sit while the pt and i are trying to help you hoist yourself into a standing position hurts my back (and the pt's) and the purpose of this exercise was not for us to lift dead weight to build up our muscles."

    can you tell i had a rough day?



  11. by   texastaz
    1.) If you want me to leave you alone - good riddance I will call you a taxi.

    2.) I will hand you thoose cookies off your nightstand when you are able to wipe your own buttock.

    3.) You have all day to do it yourself - I don't.

    4.) SHUT UP.

    5.) Try to cop a feel again and I will knock the crap out of you.

    6.) If I could give you more meds to knock you out I would.

    7.) Yes these meds are poison but don't tell the other patients.

    :roll
    Last edit by texastaz on Apr 24, '09
  12. by   squeakykitty
    i don't have the time.
  13. by   MobileNurseSara
    Quote from Virgo_RN
    Not to a patient, but to a doctor who is rolling his eyes at me:

    "Are you okay, Dr. X? You appear to be having a seizure."
    I'm not finished reading this thread yet - I'm having a freakin' ball here - but I had to stop and add something to your post...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oculogyric_crisis

    My best-friend and I have a colleague who is CONSTANTLY rolling her eyes at us for speaking, breathing, you name it. If she enters a room there go the eyes so we always joke about her having "another OGC." Sounds like Dr.X could be suffering also

close