Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 86

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   SnarfGirl
    Quote from gentle
    Why do you smell like kitty-litter every time you come to the hospital?
    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! :chuckle I have this one patient that always smells like kitty litter...ugh! LOL She's really sweet just smells to high heaven!
  2. by   RNsRWe
    And after last night, I have one more to add:

    "Yes, I'm serious (about whatever it was I just told you flat out---again). Do you think I'm making it up? You're acting as though this is the first time you've heard this about your diet/exercise/treatment requirements, even though I've personally discussed it with you three times in the last two days. The hospital doesn't pay me extra money if you LIKE the information you need to hear, and I don't earn any less if you don't. I have no great incentive to cater to your selective hearing, so listen up---or don't. Either way, I'm going home in an hour!"
  3. by   rph3664
    Quote from SnarfGirl
    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! :chuckle I have this one patient that always smells like kitty litter...ugh! LOL She's really sweet just smells to high heaven!
    I know a very sweet elderly woman, who even appears to have all her faculties and is clean, who smells like a combination of BO, urine, cooking odors, and God knows what else.

    I told my parents about her, and my mom said my grandmother once had a friend like that. Zinc deficiency, maybe?
  4. by   UM Review RN
    Please, pay no attention to what that PCT just told you about your medication. She's a nursing student, yes, and she likes to pretend she's a nurse, but she does not have the knowledge or the authority to teach you about your cardiac condition. And what she just told you was W.R.O.N.G.
  5. by   WoofyMutt80
    I am a Medical Assistant, NOT a nurse or doctor so please stop coming to me for medical advice, and when I tell you I cannot give pain meds or answer your medical questions, don't get ticked off at me. Just because I wear scrubs doesnt mean I went to medical school!
  6. by   RNsRWe
    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    Please, pay no attention to what that PCT just told you about your medication. She's a nursing student, yes, and she likes to pretend she's a nurse, but she does not have the knowledge or the authority to teach you about your cardiac condition. And what she just told you was W.R.O.N.G.
    You mean I WASN'T supposed to tell this to my patient last week?!? I guarantee you I sure did. And then reminded said PCT that until there was a license behind her name, she'd better be REAL careful about telling anyone about their meds. I don't care how @!$$^ she was about me behind my back later, I don't need her "educating" my patients!
    Last edit by ElvishDNP on Mar 30, '09 : Reason: TOS
  7. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from RNsRWe
    You mean I WASN'T supposed to tell this to my patient last week?!? I guarantee you I sure did. And then reminded said PCT that until there was a license behind her name, she'd better be REAL careful about telling anyone about their meds. I don't care how @!$$^ she was about me behind my back later, I don't need her "educating" my patients!
    This is one of the situations in which I take a deep breath, fix it, then go have a private chat with the PCT.

    The first time it happens, anyway.
  8. by   RNsRWe
    Oh, the chat with the PCT was private. And so was the chat with the fluid-overload patient who was worried that he shouldn't take his Lasix tonight because he'd "just be up peeing all night".

    I wouldn't cause a scene, promise
  9. by   markisrn
    If some one is unreasonalbly demanding about something, you could tell them that you don't have the authority to help them, those decisions are made by Helen Wait, and if they need something they can just "go to Hel en Wait". An oldie but goodie.
  10. by   Lovely_RN
    Dear resident: I'm just the person who checks your CBG and administers your insulin according to the results. Why don't you get pi**ed off with yourself instead of me when I have to call the MD about your 500+ CBG. I guess you think I have amnesia and don't remember that you already told me off earlier in the day when I tried to teach you that eating 10 White Castle Burgers, with onion rings, while washing it all down with a liter of Coke might not be a good idea.

    Dear family member: I actually think most of your family members possessions are gross and I have no interest in stealing any of their clothing or shoes. So please stop drilling me with questions regarding their missing underpants or socks when the laundry service fails to return some of their items in a timely fashion. Trust me I don't want them!

    Dear male chauvinistic pig resident: Please stop calling me nursey and preaching to me about a woman's place according to your interpretation of the Bible. Even though I never say it I think you are a disgusting pig and that your phony piety and proselytizing are nothing more than a cover up for your truly perverted nature. I wish you would stop following me around the unit and when I act like I don't hear or see you when I am getting my own meal in the dining room it's not a mistake. It's bad enough I have to deal with you on the unit damned if I will when I'm on my break. Having to be near you and do for you makes me feel like I need a hot shower.
  11. by   bteurope
    No 10L Oxygen and nebulizer treatments don't help if you still go out to smoke and have COPD.

    Feel like knockin them on the forehead and asking if anybody is home when that happens.
  12. by   talaxandra
    "It's nice that you're thinking of my well being but I can afford to provide my own food and in any case have no interest in finsihing off the half-eaten meal that's been sitting next to your bed since lunch time. I'm sure it is delicious, but no. Oh, and a half-eaten (bite markes visible) Danish for dessert? Still no. They do actually pay me, otherwise I very much wouldn't be here."
  13. by   PDXSammy
    I know this is slightly off subject, but I had to tell it after I read about the male chauvinist pig resident. During one of my med/surg rotations, I was alone in a private room doing vs and morning care on a patient in 4 point restraints. This arrogant, egomaniacal very young resident walks in with his clipboard, totally ignoring me and going over the patient like he was a pot roast, rather than a human being. The doc didn't introduce himself to me, make eye contact, or say a word to the patient, until he barks "BRUSH HIS TEETH". I'm on the other side of the bed, leaning against the wall just watching this jerk and his dynamic with the patient. I look around and think to myself "Who's he talking to like that?" A few minutes later, the doc barks a 2nd time, "BRUSH HIS TEETH" and walks out. I follow him out to chart what I had done so far, and he spins around and says to me "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME THE FIRST TIME?", which made everyone in the common area stop and stare at us. Being as this doc was young enough to be my son, all I could do was start laughing and say "YOU brush his teeth!", then walked away from him. Two of the staff nurses thanked me in private for standing up to him, then my advisor pulled me aside and attempted to rake me over the coals - but had a grin on her face, or had to put her hand over her mouth to muffle the giggles the whole time. Apparently, everyone was afraid of this doc because of his "in your face" attitude.
    My dad once said something to the effect of "Everyone is equal. The only time you should consider someone better than you is if they can stick their elbow in their ear." But his saying used a different body orifice.
    Good words to live by.

close