Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 7
:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More
Dec 17, '07Quote from bagladyrnYou can't say that to people who AREN'T your patients.(You picked him, not me!).
I almost said something like that recently to a woman I know who is highly educated and mostly associates with ex-convicts. :spin: I wisely kept my mouth shut because a comment like that would probably get me shot (figuratively speaking, of course).
Dec 17, '07Quote from RosalindRN:roll:roll Damn right!!!To the obese pt...no I wont be getting you out of bed for the first time so you can fall on me...... Also, dont get mad when it takes me 20 minutes to hunt down four other pep strong enough to turn your big azz and put you on the bedpan.(common complaint of 350lbs plus pts.)
If you called me for nausea meds(phenergan ofcourse) then no I wont be getting you those snacks you wanted....nauseated pep shouldnt eat graham crackers and peanut butter.
To the pts threatening to leave AMA after berating all the staff because we wont cater to your every need .......Dont let the door hit you where the good lord split you....PEACE OUT!!
To the irrate patients that scream..."I'll never come to this hospital again"............ You promise? I mean, can I get that in writing?
No I wont get your husband a Tylenol and no I wont change your disabled incontinent family members brief.....YOU are my patient and we're not running a 2 for 1 special today.........Thank you, exit left.
To all impatient families and patients...yeah I may be big but there isnt really two of me...I cant be in two places at one time. Sit down, shut up, and take a number
Dec 18, '07please use the medicine cup to place the pills in your mouth instead of trying to put them in your hands and decide which one you want to try first. I do not have time to search the bed and floor to see which ones you dropped.
Im sorry your Doctor promised you a private room. I am sure after you complain to him he will turn to me and ask me to do what is neccessary to get you a private room.
Dec 18, '07--To the very unhelpful family members who accompany patients: please do not try to engage me in conversation about your own health problems. If I wanted to hear about your health history I would have asked about it to YOU. Do not interrupt my health history interview with the patient to share details about your own history. Quite frankly, I don't care!
--The jobless patients who are "living off the system" and forget to check their own blood sugars make me crazy! I ask them, "Why haven't you checked your blood sugars for over a month?" Response: "Its really hard to remember." ??? Why is it hard to remember if all you are doing during the day is watching TV?
--I actually do say to the patients that make negative comments about the hospital and compare it to the excellent experience that they had at the last facility, "Why don't you go there next time?"
Dec 18, '07Quote from DolceWhat about the diabetic healthcare professionals who don't check their sugars, eat candy by the pound, smoke, defiantly refuse to lose weight, etc.?-The jobless patients who are "living off the system" and forget to check their own blood sugars make me crazy! I ask them, "Why haven't you checked your blood sugars for over a month?" Response: "Its really hard to remember." ??? Why is it hard to remember if all you are doing during the day is watching TV?
I've certainly seen plenty of that.
Dec 18, '07[quote=ruby vee;2551304]first, sitting at the bedside 24/7 is not an indication of supportiveness. it is often an indication of guilt based on the poor relationship the family has had with the patient for years. and it usually indicates a family that is a pain in the posterior.
second, this is a vent thread. it is rude to come into a vent thread and admonish folks for venting.
thank you ruby vee!!!! :spin:
Dec 18, '07I would say "Please get your tubes tied." "How could you possibly think of naming your baby that?!"
Dec 18, '07Quote from allison2008Wow! What an idiot!
we had a LOL come in once who had an asthma exac. and also was s/p hip replacement 6 something weeks ago. her daughter flipped the "I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE IN NURSING" card to everyone in the ER. ER doc wrote orders for soma, norco, xanax and demerol and Med surg had a bed so we got her up to the floor quickly.. about 1930. at 2200 rapid response called to the room, pt unresponsive.. when ER staff arrived chg nurse asked the ER nurse what she had given her, and the answer was nothing, just Normal saline. well the nurse on med surg had given her drug cocktail at around 2100. i guess her daughter, the almighty nurse, forgot to tell the nurse on Med surg that she already gave mom her meds at 2000 because she thought that the pharmacy didnt send them up fast enough. mom ended up on a vent. sheesh.
Dec 18, '07Quote from clee1You totally rock!!! ROFL!I actually did this:
At about 4:30am, I had had enough! Marching into his room and closing the door, I approached the head of his bed. Putting both hands on the mattress and leaning down to about a foot from his face, I said: "Mr. XXXX, let me share a little something with you. We've got your number! We know why you are here, and guess what? You ARE NOT getting any narcotics here today, nor are you going to be fed. The doctor didn't order you anything, and we can't give you anything w/o orders. So.... quit being a pain in the azz, stay off the call bell, and if you don't like it you can carry your drunk, dope-seeking azz out of here!":trout:
I get so sick of those drug-seekers!! I know they "have a problem", but Hell, why make it mine too?Last edit by sirI on Dec 19, '07 : Reason: TOS
Dec 18, '07Quote from dolcegood for you!--to the very unhelpful family members who accompany patients: please do not try to engage me in conversation about your own health problems. if i wanted to hear about your health history i would have asked about it to you. do not interrupt my health history interview with the patient to share details about your own history. quite frankly, i don't care!
grrrrrr!! i hate that!!! just gotta jack those jaws and waste my time! why in god's green earth would they think i care?!? well, i do know why...i'm too dang nice and i hate that about myself. but i'm getting better and better all the time about that - maintaining my boundaries that is...sorry sidebar there.
--i actually do say to the patients that make negative comments about the hospital and compare it to the excellent experience that they had at the last facility, "why don't you go there next time?"
Dec 18, '07I hate it when every family member is a "nurse, doctor or lawyer".
I purposely use only when they tell me that, then wait for them to ask what everything I just told them means. At some point they all fess up, I make sure they know my name too, so they don't try it again with me.
We have one nurse that told a family member "If your lawyer is competent, he understands what I can and can not do for your father legally, so why don't you go back and ask him again? I'm sure if he is a good lawyer he'll tell you exactly what I just told you." Shut that family member up.
Dec 19, '07To the most demanding, attention seeking, manipulative resident on the floor that asks me what is wrong with you today? I would love to say, well other than the fact that my guts feel like they are falling out because I am sick on my stomach but I had to come to work because it is MY weekend to work and if I miss a weekend day I have to make it up on my weekend off and you are ringing that call bell like I have nothing else to do there is absolutely nothing wrong with me! Ding, ding, ding!!!Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Dec 19, '07 : Reason: TOS
Dec 19, '07I work in an office setting, so the peeves are a little different, but I'd still LOVE to give it to 'em straight.
1. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. I will call in your rx refill to the pharmacy today. It will probably be near the close of business, after I've dealt with the 36 people who have been waiting months for an appointment, half a dozen triage work-ins, and umpteen add-on procedures. It's a shame your cruise to Hawaii leaves in 2 hours. Next time count your pills and plan accordingly ... a week or more in advance would be good.
2. Yes, I know you just saw Dr. A. and she changed the dose of one of your meds. Did you LISTEN to a word she said? Telling me the pill is pink is not useful information. Next time please bring a notebook or your secretary so I do not have to waste time hunting down the note and doing a review session on the phone.
3. If you do not understand the doctor's accent, again, do NOT call me 15 minutes after you get home complaining about "those &^%*& foreigners" and asking me for a review session. Either admit to him that you need clarification or choose from one of the 20+ other MD's in the group. Like now, while you're here.
4. Leaving repeated voice mails will not result in a return call any sooner.
5. I don't make the schedule. I don't control how long the MD spends with each pt. If you have a problem with the above, take it up with HER, no me.
6. Corollary: if it were *your* mother in there with acute SOB, 3+pitting edema, and a SBP of 76, would *you* like the doctor to move things along so the next person is not late for her hair appointment?
7. Don't tell me you quit smoking "15 minutes ago." It's bad enough we have to fumigate half the office when you leave.
8. Flattery, chocolate, and holiday gifts are much appreciated but they will not get you more samples. Some of them come three pills to a pack now and we only get a dwindling number. We know whether or not you truly need them.
9. Do not check your or your loved one's pulse and blood pressure every 15 minutes and call me every time it is marginally high or low. Even if it started out just fine, sooner or later one of our heads is going to explode!
10. Hugs are always welcome! Don't be shy! We actually do love most of our patients ... and we have the luxury of rolling the phones at 5:00 :spin: