Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 27

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   squeakykitty
    I just thought of this one------

    Your arms and hands work just fine and you are perfectly capable of placing your penis in the urinal. However, if you still have trouble holding it, I'm sure I can find you a pair of tweezers that you can use.

    I'm mean, aren't I?
  2. by   class 5
    If you ring that call bell one more time I will break your fingers!!
    No we don't have any more juice go to sleep the damn kitchen is closed!!
    Stop bending your damn arm thats why the machine keeps beeping!!
    stop complaining and just hold out your finger !!
    Take your butt to sleep and stop worrying about who's talking at the nurses station! LOL...to name a few!!!:chuckle
  3. by   Spritenurse1210
    I Am Not Your Personal Servant.
  4. by   class 5
    Oh yeah and this is for the patient who is ambulatory but is lazy at night and rings the call bell for his "nurse"... empty your own freakin urinal!!
    I am not your maid!!! and family members too!!! they aren't excluded ...This shout out is for the know it all family members who insist that their demented love one who is barely able to swallow, and will most definitely aspirate any thin liquids have a cup of water and a few bites of food (not puree )while you were out of the room... and before you know it your patients lung sounds are congested as ever...you dummy he/ she cannot eat/ drink that.. you don't see that they are damn near choking!! boy that would be nice to say!!! ok I'm done LOL...
  5. by   shetazrn
    Quote from NancyPrn
    I can think of lots of things patients would like to say to their nurse!:chuckle
    That is the problem......they do say them.
    I work in a moderately busy ED (only because people use us as a clinic). I have been called every name in the book. My manager even called me a few months ago to tell me that a family member was going to call the BON and report me for having long bangs and baggy scrubs!!! She failed to mention the 20 times I cleaned her mom and changed her. Oh, did I mention the arrhythmia that was fixed????
  6. by   twistedpupchaser
    I got reported for saying the following..."I know your arms and legs are not painted on because I flushed an IV in that arm earlier and I have seen you walk outside for a smoke, you can turn the TV down yourself!"

    This was a TV that the patient bought in himself!

    And yes I would say it again, luckily my bosses new he was a PITA.
  7. by   santhony44
    Not everyone who has a seizure is invariably incontinent of urine every single time. The next time you have a seizure with no EEG changes, you really don't have to wet your bed.
  8. by   rph3664
    Quote from twistedpupchaser
    "I know your arms and legs are not painted on
    :lol:
  9. by   grace90
    Shut up!!! to patients who know how to use a call light but prefer to yell, scream and holler :scrm:
  10. by   tepbsmith
    to "exorcist lady"

    have you always been this crazy?

    why do you think its acceptable to point at the water and expect me to know what you want w/o speaking because i know you are capable of speaking when every single time another resident comes within 20 feet of you and you start shouting expletives and swiping at them w/your dirty crusty talons that need a dremel.

    why do you insist on sitting at my desk, shaking the sh1t out of it and letting your perpetually snotty nose drain on my desk?

    i can't stand you! you make me crazy!
  11. by   tepbsmith
    things i have said to my patients. (but in nursing school- whoops!)

    upon entering the room of my annoying, nasty, genitals out everywhere 40yr old post BKA pt i find mcdonalds in the trash and a snickers on the bedside table.

    "what is that for?" i ask, referring to the snickers

    "in case of emergency?" answers patient

    "emergency?" i am genuinely puzzled

    "in case my sugars get low" he smugly replies

    "oh. well jic it escaped your attention, your blood sugars are consistently in the 400s and you just got your leg cut off and if you keep eating like that both of your legs are gonna match"

    ....my teachers weren't real happy about that. but i stand behind my statement
    Last edit by XB9S on May 27, '08 : Reason: removing expetives
  12. by   SoundofMusic
    To Ms. so-called "chronic pain" patient who demands her dilaudid right on time and undiluted, along with her methadone, her lyrica, her vicodin and her daily percosets for her 400 lb 5' 1" body -- YOU are a disgrace. You are NOT sick -- you are obese and a heroin addict and you refuse to take care of yourself, bathe, or complete any of your tests the doctors has ordered. You are lying here in an expensive hospital bed, of course with no job and no insurance in you are in your mid 50's, (not your 90's) and DEMANDING care and treating all your nurses and doctors like crap, whining and crying and dramatizing -- because you know damn well you can get away with it.

    I'm sorry, but I don't believe your stories. I think you are faking it. If it were up to me, you'd be sent home to detox on your own -- If you die -- well, that's too bad. YOU are the one who decided to do heroin all your life instead of facing up to life's problems. Perhaps you should pay the price for this -- not me, not society, not the U.S. taxpaying, hardworking citizens. Perhaps if someone should hear of your plight, they would decide against doing heroin because perhaps they'd realize no one was going to bail them out of it.

    It's people like you who will put me out of nursing. I can take the mean docs, the crappy co-workers, the hard work -- but I can't take you -- and I refuse to continue to be YOUR servant. If you were actually paying for your healthcare, it might be one thing -- but to lie there and demand that society does this for you because you have ****** up your life so badly, -- I can't even stand it.

    If this is who Universal Health Care is going to take care of -- I'm leaving this country. Heck, it already IS UHC as we continue to take care of these losers, allowing them to work the system and suck it dry. It's not fair and we should be ashamed of ourselves and our government for allowing it.

    Someone shoudl follow these people home and see to it that their stories are true or false, or whatever the case may be. Right now we have to take them for their word, and I have a feelilng their "word" is not worth much.
    Last edit by UM Review RN on May 27, '08 : Reason: TOS
  13. by   AngelfireRN
    Quote from SoundofMusic
    To Ms. so-called "chronic pain" patient who demands her dilaudid right on time and undiluted, along with her methadone, her lyrica, her vicodin and her daily percosets for her 400 lb 5' 1" body -- YOU are a disgrace. You are NOT sick -- you are obese and a heroin addict and you refuse to take care of yourself, bathe, or complete any of your tests the doctors has ordered. You are lying here in an expensive hospital bed, of course with no job and no insurance in you are in your mid 50's, (not your 90's) and DEMANDING care and treating all your nurses and doctors like crap, whining and crying and dramatizing -- because you know damn well you can get away with it.

    I'm sorry, but I don't believe your stories. I think you are faking it. If it were up to me, you'd be sent home to detox on your own -- If you die -- well, that's too bad. YOU are the one who decided to do heroin all your life instead of facing up to life's problems. Perhaps you should pay the price for this -- not me, not society, not the U.S. taxpaying, hardworking citizens. Perhaps if someone should hear of your plight, they would decide against doing heroin because perhaps they'd realize no one was going to bail them out of it.

    It's people like you who will put me out of nursing. I can take the mean docs, the crappy co-workers, the hard work -- but I can't take you -- and I refuse to continue to be YOUR servant. If you were actually paying for your healthcare, it might be one thing -- but to lie there and demand that society does this for you because you have ***** up your life so badly, -- I can't even stand it.

    If this is who Universal Health Care is going to take care of -- I'm leaving this country. Heck, it already IS UHC as we continue to take care of these losers, allowing them to work the system and suck it dry. It's not fair and we should be ashamed of ourselves and our government for allowing it.

    Someone shoudl follow these people home and see to it that their stories are true or false, or whatever the case may be. Right now we have to take them for their word, and I have a feelilng their "word" is not worth much.
    Wow. We should meet. I think you and I would get along really well. We seem to be of a like mind. Those people drive me up a wall, too.
    Last edit by UM Review RN on May 27, '08 : Reason: Quotes edited post

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