Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - Page 254

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  1. Aug 19, '12 by
    You need me to wipe your what? I didn't know that during a knee replacement they moved your rear end. Ahhhhhhhhh

    "No day but today"
    maelstrom143, Bill E. Rubin, and opossum like this.
  2. Aug 20, '12 by
    Quote from YouwishiwasyourCNA
    You need me to wipe your what? I didn't know that during a knee replacement they moved your rear end. Ahhhhhhhhh
    I often used to muse when working ortho that some patients who have had ORIFs of the ankle must have simultaneously had their arms shortened....only excuse I can think of for expecting someone to wipe their butts for them when they are perfectly capable of doing so.
    maelstrom143, Bill E. Rubin, anotherone, and 2 others like this.
  3. Aug 20, '12 by
    Not only are you saving every snotwad and phlegm pile for me to see, you're just slopping them all over your bedside table.

    You're actively CHOOSING to pee all over yourself, and won't let anyone clean you up for hours.

    I want to douse you, and everything in your room with bleach.

    Hurry up and go home, so you can go sit in filth there and harrass your family instead of the staff here.
    maelstrom143, anotherone, and opossum like this.
  4. Aug 20, '12 by
    I appreciate you being proactive and recognizing that you likely have another UTI.
    I appreciate that you brought a urine sample in a sterile container to speed up your ER visit.
    But honestly, a QUART Mason jar full of urine is overkill. Seriously.
    RHC81, rammstein, uRNmyway, and 5 others like this.
  5. Aug 21, '12 by
    Quote from marycarney
    I appreciate you being proactive and recognizing that you likely have another UTI.
    I appreciate that you brought a urine sample in a sterile container to speed up your ER visit.
    But honestly, a QUART Mason jar full of urine is overkill. Seriously.
  6. Aug 21, '12 by
    Quote from marycarney
    I appreciate you being proactive and recognizing that you likely have another UTI.
    I appreciate that you brought a urine sample in a sterile container to speed up your ER visit.
    But honestly, a QUART Mason jar full of urine is overkill. Seriously.
    That is so funny and SO true! lol!
  7. Aug 21, '12 by
    I've had a few clients over the years bring me in a litter pan or a bucket full of poo to select the fecal sample from. I too have received urine in dixie cups, old pill bottles, plastic bags, some really nice dishes, dog dishes, and glass bottles of every size and shape. Some of the urines have dirt and leaves floating in them. So much for a clean sample.

    Fuzzy
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe, Hygiene Queen, sharpeimom, and 1 other like this.
  8. Aug 21, '12 by
    Here is a match, feel free to play.

    (yes I know pretty extreme, couldn't help it)
    anotherone and opossum like this.
  9. Aug 21, '12 by
    Quote from tenjuna
    Here is a match, feel free to play.

    (yes I know pretty extreme, couldn't help it)
    How about, "See that traffic over there? Feel free to go play in it!"
  10. Aug 22, '12 by
    Quote from ShannonRN2010
    "If you put on that call light one more dang time I swear to God above I will strangle you with it...and make it look like an accident"

    "I really don't care that your great great aunt Sally had a really bad case of the gout...that is not pertinate to your admission history...but thanks for sharing"

    "NO...you cannot go outside to smoke when you came in here c/o chest pain and SOB...and you cannot have your family wheel you down in a wheelchair with oxygen going...are you an idiot?"
    You know, my boyfriends ex-MIL actually managed to blow her face off after being repeatedly told not to do that. She then had a really intense reaction to analgesia (ie total confusion) and tore off all her brand new skin grafts, leading to infection--> septicemia-->death.