Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

[AngelfireRN]

Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.

I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.

Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.

Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.

Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.

I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.

No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.

No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".

No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.

NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).

No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).

No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.

No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.

I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!

Have fun!

[Poi Dog]

i would love to tell the patients, "not no, but he!! no!"

[sharpeimom]

"you want me to do what?"

oh, wait a second... i did say that to an especially difficult psych patient.

[Poi Dog]

This thread is a good outlet

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

"get off my stool, you old bat."

this after an lol pushed past me, appropriated my rolly stool, plopped herself down, turned, and snarked, "you're more able to stand up than i am. my back hurts."

what i did say..."really? well, i'm so sorry. i happen to be pregnant." yes, i really am, and high-risk to boot.

"oh, you are? well...do you have to sit down?"

the gall. i mean, i would never have the thought occur to me to sit on my physician/healthcare provider's seat and tell them that i needed it more than they. (the fact that she chose to tell my om i had no business working if all i was going to do was get in 'that condition', i'm not touching.)

hate it, but i'm going to sit when i can. i run my feet off all day, and danged if i'm not taking my seat when i get the chance.

i don't think pregnancy agrees with me, lol.

i'm not pregnant but i have back issues and knee issues and while i can still do my job, i cannot stand for 12 hours. i sit every chance i get to chart . . . i figure that i work in an icu and i have to be at the patient's bedside. the visitors can go sit in the waiting room if they get tired of standing. management wants to be "family friendly" but won't spring for chairs for the visitors, and i've had too many visitors fall off my rolling chair and either visit the er, sue or both to let them sit in my chair!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

angelfire..

i have to disagree here, respectfully. we are employed to take care of even the snarky lol's that take the seats we vacated. pregnancy is not an illness such as cancer, copd, etc. it is not an excuse to be rude to others or to not perform your duties fully.

i don't think there is anything wrong in anyone sitting when they get a chance, lord knows those chances may be few and far between.

had i been you charge nurse i would have had to say something to you about this.

i know this is a vent thread of things we would like to say, and i wouldn't have addressed this if you had not indicated that you actually said something to the lol.

perhaps you could have gently redirected her to a comfy chair in the dining room or lobby and addressed her back pain. then sat back down on your rolly chair.....

oh for pity's sake. if you were my charge nurse and said something to me about this, i'd have to say something back. visitors should not be sitting in the rolling chairs -- i've seen too many of them fall off the rolling chairs. if management won't spring for chairs for the visitors to sit in, then the visitors can stand while they visit and go out to the waiting room when they need to sit. snarky old ladies -- or anyone else -- should not be taking the chairs we vacate. the nurse's chair is there for the nurse to use. the nurse has to be there for the patient. visitors don't. asking a patient or visitor to vacate the nurse's chair is not in and of itself rude. i believe angelfire works in a clinic -- i've never seen a clinic that didn't have a designated spot for the patient to sit. that's where the patient should be sitting.

and another thing -- we do not "address the back pain" of a visitor. if the visitor cannot deal with his or her own back pain, we refer them (politely of course) to the er. if i were your charge nurse, i'm afraid i'd have to say something to you about treating visitors.

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

oh for pity's sake. if you were my charge nurse and said something to me about this, i'd have to say something back. visitors should not be sitting in the rolling chairs -- i've seen too many of them fall off the rolling chairs. if management won't spring for chairs for the visitors to sit in, then the visitors can stand while they visit and go out to the waiting room when they need to sit. snarky old ladies -- or anyone else -- should not be taking the chairs we vacate. the nurse's chair is there for the nurse to use. the nurse has to be there for the patient. visitors don't. asking a patient or visitor to vacate the nurse's chair is not in and of itself rude. i believe angelfire works in a clinic -- i've never seen a clinic that didn't have a designated spot for the patient to sit. that's where the patient should be sitting.

and another thing -- we do not "address the back pain" of a visitor. if the visitor cannot deal with his or her own back pain, we refer them (politely of course) to the er. if i were your charge nurse, i'm afraid i'd have to say something to you about treating visitors.

we tell patients and visitors that they can't use our rolling chairs all the time. it's a safety and liability issue. plus, our chairs are in places the patients should not be.

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Thank you, THANK YOU, Ruby! I was so dying to say exactly that. If she was my charge and she did say something, she'd find out in a hurry why my charges learned to leave me alone. Ish.

Gently redirected, my foot. And as to addressing her back pain, I did, as she was my patient. But she wants a med that Doc has told her she may not have and yet she continues to harp, to the point that I want to address her snarky little head with my 9-iron, lol. (No, not really, golf humor).

Glad I wasn't the only one that thought the whole schmear smacked of Utopian hospital blather.

Side note...doc visit today, complete with pics! She's 8 weeks and 4 days (I'm hoping she takes the hint, I want a girl) and nice and healthy!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

thank you, thank you, ruby! i was so dying to say exactly that. if she was my charge and she did say something, she'd find out in a hurry why my charges learned to leave me alone. ish.

gently redirected, my foot. and as to addressing her back pain, i did, as she was my patient. but she wants a med that doc has told her she may not have and yet she continues to harp, to the point that i want to address her snarky little head with my 9-iron, lol. (no, not really, golf humor).

glad i wasn't the only one that thought the whole schmear smacked of utopian hospital blather.

side note...doc visit today, complete with pics! she's 8 weeks and 4 days (i'm hoping she takes the hint, i want a girl) and nice and healthy!

congratulations! hope you get nice and healthy! and don't go buying the pink paint yet . . . i'm sure you wouldn't turn down a nice and healthy boy, either!

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Nah, as long as it's human and healthy, I'm easy to please! Thanks!!

Oh, and the room is staying blue, whatever the sex. Just because that's my favorite color. I figure we can change later, lol.

[sharpeimom]

congratulations! that's so exciting!

[Poi Dog]

Go sit in the corner until I am ready to deal with you and don't even think about pressing the red button.

[elthia]

Go ahead and sign out AMA or keep treading that path to self destruction, I don't really care. I have other patients that WANT to live, and I'd rather spend my time and effort on them.

So don't cry to me when you feel lousy when you are 1000ml over your fluid restriction and you refused your lasix, and you just signed your AMA papers, you just got yourself knocked off the transplant list, and it is not my fault for being a lousy nurse when your urine came back positive for nicotine and THC.

I just had a really crappy week...can't you tell.